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By National, meaning American Coming Out Day, presumably?
It all seems a bit silly to me. Why is there this feeling, among gay and straight people alike, that one has to "come out", anyway? I've "come out" (sort of - to a few people) and in retrospect I feel a bit embarrassed about it. It's really a form of attention seeking. The only person to whom your sexuality should matter is your partner.
Not that I've worked out where to find one of those, yet... 
David
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Must say, I laughed out loud at the quote on the web site, though --
"I came out to my sister, and she said, Oh my god, you're gay! Are you seeing a psychologist? I answered, No, I'm seeing a school teacher."
Bob Smith
http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out
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I think it hinders. There's nothing more guaranteed to upset a 'straight' person than having alternative orientations stuffed down their throats.
Live and let live, preferably not too loudly, seems a much preferable route.
Mike.g
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I do have certain reservations about the idea of a "Coming Out Day", but think it might serve some useful purposes.
reservations:
it could be taken as pushing an agenda that everyone 'should' come out. And I think it's really up to each individual to decide what is appropriate for themselves.
it suggests that coming out is a one-off event, whereas most people consider it a longdrawnout process, often in several stages.
it may foster the idea that a person has to be either "gay" or "straight": whereas varying degrees of bisexuality or asexuality are also well within the range of normal human expression.
BUT, given these reservations, I do think that having such a day could provide an opportunity for those who want to start non-committal conversations with friends or family, possibly while considering when / whether to come out: to talk over the general principle of coming out without it necessarily having to be seen as personal. And possibly publicity may help people who need it to access some of the excellent literature around on things to think about and the range of probable reactions when considering coming out.
Deej is probably right when he says that "The only person to whom your sexuality should matter is your partner." Unfortunately, there's a world of difference between 'should' and 'does', and while kids are still getting kicked out of home for being gay, or people are still getting queerbashed, or while monoagamous gay men are not allowed to donate blood, or while ... anyway, the point is that it DOES seem to matter to an awful lot of people that it probably shouldn't. So, for me, being fully out and hopefully earning the respect of most of those I come into contact with at work and socially is something that I can do to counteract some of the prejudice. And, for me, it would feel actually dishonest if I were to give the impression that I'm not gay. However, I've been fully out - although rarely in any contact with the gay scene - for over 25 years, so what feels right and natural for me may be very different from what suits others.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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If any platform reguarding gay rights is to be realized the gay population must stand and be counted.
Otherwise we face the alternative....
Stick our heads back into the sand and fade back into oblivion....
I really find it hard to determine what the participants here want? They are ever advocating the gay agenda yet become uneasy when it is time to stand up for what they want....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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That is precisley the rationale behind my post. To help people to consider what is the right thing to do. However the word "right" bears consideration itself.
I am gay. I am not an ethnic minority, so my race or skin colour does not set me apart. I simply have "incorrect" (societal definition) desires for love, romance, partnership and sex. Does my stating this openly make sense? If it makes sense, for whom and for what purpose? If I needed a partner who alwasy dressed in a maid's uniform and I had to be the householder, would I need to come out over that? Where does the necessity start and where does it end?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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OK...... Let's look at the history behind "coming Out Day".....
First it began with the farango at the Stonewall Bar in NYC..... That incident fused a portion of the gay community into a body of pro-gay activists (and considering the circumstances rightly so) which set about the task of creating the "gay agenda" that we see so often exhibited today.
Pride parades began popping up.... very very slowly and carefully at first, but as time passed more local communities jumped on the band wagon and like now the movement has spread world wide.
Parades, being public specticles as they are by default (albeit intentionally) outed thousands of gays as well as por-gay supporters in the str8 community...... After all you can't march in a parade comprised of BLBT men and woman and not thereafter considered a card carrying member of the club.
GLBT organizations began to come into being, some advocating gay rights and some lobbying groups which are instrumental in placing true information reguarding gay culture on the desks of lawmakers.
Coming out (as a process) became the cry (so to speak) of freedom for so many GLBT persons who previously were (for a thousand reasons) too afrade to do it.
As with any movement, times of self-acknowledgement tend to evolve into a focus. In the case of the "GLBT Movement" one of the focal points examined the process of coming out. The day places a light on the problems associated with coming out in such a way that they were congealed into a subject that could be discussed and examined thus making the process visiblely tangable as a wide spread area of concern to the GLBT community. The day (by default) also focases on those who come out and are well accepted, even welcomed as they are by friends and family.
Over the years Coming Out Day has been distorted by the media and maligned by the various churches who in their press to promote their own agendas target good people who walk a different path than their own.
Coming Out Day also is not so much about who a person sleeps with. It is more about who that person sees him/her self as.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Marc wrote:
> Coming out (as a process) became the cry (so to speak) of freedom for so many GLBT persons who previously were (for a thousand reasons) too afrade to do it.
Taking this element of your theme, I am both closeted and out, depending on the people I am with. I have often been in a room where some people know I am gay and others have no idea. While this made those situations initially confusing I soon learnt that people respect information like that and do not blurt it out. And even if they did i have no real concerns about tellng anyone who asks me.
But telling people gave me perosnal freedom despite it actually being no real business of theirs to know at all. I can say that, where I have come out, I have done it for me
> Over the years Coming Out Day has been distorted by the media and maligned by the various churches who in their press to promote their own agendas target good people who walk a different path than their own.
I am in total agreement there. My own homosexual agenda is simply to feel that I am allowed to be at ease with myself, and to know that, should I be brave enough to tell someone else I find him attractive, that he will not feel threatened but respind according to the normal repsonse of anyone who is told they are attractuve by anyone else. I wish for a "Actually, I'm sorry, but no thank you" (whether gay or str8) or a positive result. What I do not wish for is "Get away from me you freaking poof!", or "Back to the wall, lads, we got a queer here!"
> Coming Out Day also is not so much about who a person sleeps with. It is more about who that person sees him/her self as.
Do I conclude form that paragraph that coming out is best as a simple vocalisation of an internal realisation?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Excerpted from:
"Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are
by Libby Post
Tuesday, October 11th was National Coming Out Day. A day like no other, it’s a day when members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community make an effort to come out to people we’re not out to yet. For some of us, we have to think long and hard to find someone who doesn’t yet know who we are. For others, it’s a scary proposition to come out to colleagues at work, to our doctors, members of our families or even some of our friends.
You see, just because a person is out to themselves and may even frequent a gay bar or be a member of an l/g/b/t organization, that doesn’t mean they’re out to everyone.
Permit me to share some stories with you. If you’re a member of the community, you’ll probably be able to relate to these scenarios. If you’re straight, put yourself in our shoes just for a moment and consider them."
The entire article located here:
[ http://www.365gay.com/opinion/Libby/Libby.htm ]
Warren C. E. Austin
The Gay Deceiver
Toronto, Canada
"... comme recherché qu'un délice callipygian"
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Well, when it comes right to the cusp of the matter..... No one can be out to everyone.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Re: We completely ignored "National Coming Out Day" 
