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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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The past recent postings led me to ask this question...
As in any relationship there are those little quirks that annoy ones partner no end but for the sake of "peace in the family" are better off left ignored.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think they are no different from any relationship.
Friendship is the most important, whatever the form the remainder of the relationship takes.
Trust not to exceed the bounds of the relationship.
Comfort - similar to friendship and yet subtly different.
Ability to reciver from deep rifts.
Note that not a single ine of these is so far about sex. However, when sex is involved, the care to learn what is wanted most, and the ability to give it provided it is to your own taste. And the knowledge that "no means no" if your partner tries something you do not wish, or you try something he does not wish.
I have said nothing about fidelity except to refer to the bounds of the relationship.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Fidelity......
Now there a subject......
Is fidelity in a relationship important?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The answer depends on what both partners feel together is important.
If I fel I am entitled to "play away" but my partner does not, then fidelity becomes important.
If we each "play away" with full agreement, but we expose each other to infectious diseases, what then? A linked topic, but different.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I really believe that monogamy is the rule if a relationship is to last.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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While you are probably right we never defined whetehr a relatiionshiop had a "term" or whether it was expected to be for life.
Heterosexual marriages tend to last seven years or fewer.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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"Heterosexual marriages tend to last seven years or fewer."
While that may be true, at least for me there is everything to be said for having a "forever" attitude or commitment when it comes to my relationship with my partner.
When you work through each challenge together as a couple it's like building a wall of safety around yourselves as a couple. Contained within that wall is love, trust, fidelity, commitment, and the desire to see the other person grow and flourish as a person and as the other half of the whole entity which is the partnership.
It is difficult for me to see the benefit of risking all of that for a moment of infidelity which undermines the relationship.
Just me. Others are free to see it as they choose. If we were all the same what a boring world it would be.
So for me, my commitment is for a lifetime.
John
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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YUP YUP......
I agree a gazillion percent......
I have had 2 relationships in my lifetims that I consider to be life long and never once stepped out on my partner..... Nor he me.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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So, we are starting to define a relationship 
We started with an assumption and are moving towards a definition. But do all here agree?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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