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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I just wanted to let the person who posted a very sweet note in the "wrong guestbook" on the 28th know that I truly appreciate the message. I have had to delete it because it might embarrass my family. You see I am not out except to those to whom I have chosen to come out to. My wofe is embarrassed about my orientation, and hates it. It is her right to be embarrassed and to hate it. She does not want people to know, not really.
I don't feel "an example" to gay men really, you know. Living a straight lifestyle is th eonkly orientation "choice" a gay man can make, but it is not an example I suggest anyone follows. It is hard on me and very hard on my wife. In an ideal world we woudl be compatible. She is sweet and feminine and slim and gorgeous, even rising 50. She turns heads when she walks donw the street, though she does not believe it. And I fell in love with her deeply and genuinely.
But the strain of being gay is very hard. Imagine a heterosexual person forcing himself to make love to a man and you get the issues well. I don't exactly mean "forcing", because love does conquer all, but I mean not having the "right appendages".
Now imagine a woman feeling that she is "wrong" for the gay man she is married to and fell in love with. Take poor self esteem and beat it about the head with the dead codfish of the news that her husband is gay. Women do not hear "I love you, I can't explain it but I do, and you arouse me" Instead they hear "I married a queer", and they feel odd about it. Or mine does.
So I deleted the message on that site. It is not that I hide exactly. I just prefer to keep them separate.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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