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I believe fear contains a large dose of ignorance. I mean the more information and understanding I have the better I can react to the situation
that causes me to feel threatened or fearful.
There was a study of a tribe of tree monkeys. The observers noticed the young monkeys showed no fear of the tree snakes until the older monkeys reacted in fear to the threat of the snake. I guess we have to be taught to fear just as we are taught to love and accept. I just hope I learn to have more love and
acceptance than fear guiding my actions.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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But how ignorant was I? I wanted a boy, I loved a boy. I knew what sexual acts I wanted to perform with him, and trust me very little was left out. So, if it was ignorance, of what was I ignorant?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Timmy your right. Im scard of people that will hurt me, abuse me or use me. Im not ignorant of being gay, or what I want to do with a boy friend, If I ever get one, Ignorance of something unknown and being scared of it is one thing, but not being gay.
for some reason I dont think this came out just right
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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I fear many things, some more, some less. I do, however, firmly believe in not letting fear rule you. It's a good instinct, but it can hinder you too. So try to challenge my fears (the irrational ones) and keep the rational ones within reason.
Timmy: Gay people were portraited as perverts, wrongdoers and so on until recently. Humans are conform, and we absorb such things if they are repeated often enough.
Brian: I grew up a social outcast. It isn't pleasant, but it does give you a freedom - you don't have to care about what people think of you (at school), as it doesn't matter. The problem, of course, is physical violence. I was lucky there, the kids didn't dare use it much, while I had fewer reservations against doing serious harm when defending myself.
Stil, fear of getting hurt, used and abused is healthy, if it doesn't interfere with your life. We all have that fear, I think, it's instinct. What helped me get more confident was martial art. (I do capoeira) Even if you never have to use it (I never have, hope I won't need to either), it gives you confidence to have body control and ability to defend yourself. It is also a freedom, knowing that IF someone tries to harm you physically, you can defend yourself. Even tho I wouldn't ever want to get into any unpleasant situation, I don't fear it too much.
I am not sure if this is advice or not.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Silfer wrote:
> Timmy: Gay people were portraited as perverts, wrongdoers and so on until recently. Humans are conform, and we absorb such things if they are repeated often enough.
See, that is the odd thing. I have never once put myself in the pervert category, and never once put gay men in that category while I was being afraid of them.
The more I think the more I feel it was about my need to be in control back then. Not wanting even to be approached by someone whom I did not already fancy, for example.
I read the walls in public toilets avidly, but never dared be present at nominated times. And as for glory holes, they disgusted me then. Today I simply crave privacy when taking a dump. It i snot a spectator sport!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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