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You are here: Home > Forum > A Place of Safety > General Talk > Im sorry
Im sorry  [message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 03:37 Go to next message
Brian1407a is currently offline  Brian1407a

On fire!
Location: USA
Registered: December 2005
Messages: 1104



Guys, Especially Timmy, Im sorry. I tried to do something really stupid. Im ok now and back. a little shaky but ok.

Brian



I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........

Affirmation........Savage Garden
Hi, Brian  [message #27517 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 04:13 Go to previous messageGo to next message
cossie is currently offline  cossie

On fire!
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699



We worried about you when you left us, and we're SO glad that you've come back again.

You don't need to explain what happened - but you can, if that's what you'd like to do. Just remember that most of us have been through what you're going through - we don't have a magic wand to make the shit go away, but we'll ALWAYS be here to support you in any way we can. Welcome back!



For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
Re: Im sorry  [message #27520 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 06:17 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Guest is currently offline  Guest

On fire!

Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344



Brian shouldnt apologize. He got hurt bad twice by someone close to him. This was after he was hurt before. He felt like he had no hope left. But he was brave and decided that life was worth living in spite of the pain. Hes totally awesome.
Re: Im sorry  [message #27521 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 09:29 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



Please do not try to do something stupid.

I have been researching some practical advice for you regarding your mother's boyfriends and am finalising that at present. For the present simply be as patient as you are able. I absolutely want this advice to be good for you. If you can be patient then there is no rush



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Im sorry  [message #27522 is a reply to message #27520] Sun, 22 January 2006 10:18 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



No, he should not apologise. But if he wants to and it makes him feel better then he is most welcome to. I accept his apology unreservedly.

Nothing here is ever to judge a person, only to help them.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Im sorry  [message #27524 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 10:31 Go to previous messageGo to next message
nick is currently offline  nick

Likes it here
Location: London
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 351



Brian, it's good to see you back.
Re: Im sorry  [message #27527 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 11:21 Go to previous messageGo to next message
marc is currently offline  marc

Needs to get a life!

Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729



You have no need to appologize to anyone.

Nothing ever is worth going toward the dark over. Nothing is worth that price for anyone.

I know..... I've tried also.....

However bad it might seem right now, know this...... Once you reach 18 you will be able to make your own decisions for yourself. You will be able to go anyplace you want to live as free a lifestyle as you choose.

I'm happy you are with us.



Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
Re: Im sorry  [message #27529 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 12:30 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Deeej is currently offline  Deeej

Needs to get a life!
Location: Berkshire, UK
Registered: March 2005
Messages: 3281



It's nice to see you back, Brian. I'm really glad to hear you're okay.

I can't really add anything to the general messages of support that everyone else has made, except to say that if you ever want to talk about anything -- anything -- you'll be able to find someone who can help here. Even if it has nothing to do with being gay. It has never ceased to amaze me.

Best wishes,

David
Re: Im sorry  [message #27531 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 14:02 Go to previous messageGo to next message
grasshopper is currently offline  grasshopper

Toe is in the water
Location: USA
Registered: November 2005
Messages: 47



Brian ~ I'm so glad you're okay. Take your time and know that you aren't alone. Most of us have had 'shaky' times. We're here for you.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
GH

[Updated on: Sun, 22 January 2006 15:00] by Moderator




"You have your way. I have my way. As far as the right way, the correct way, and the only way - it doesn't exist."
I promised you practical advice  [message #27532 is a reply to message #27515] Sun, 22 January 2006 14:06 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



Like all advice please read it carefully and ask questions untilyou are sure you understand it. If you choose to act on it, act well and act decisively. I have checked with teachers I know in the USA and this is an amalgam of their advice to anyone in your position:

So many times, you find yourself caught in a situation you can’t handle by yourself. These are the times you have to ask for help. These situations are always some form of bullying, whether teasing, sexual harassment, picking fights, and so many other things.

Please ask for help. As a teenager, you don’t have control over so many things that happen in your life. All adults are not the enemy. You need to find an adult you trust and talk to them. Adults do have the power to correct bad situations.

Suggestions:
*Talk to your parents
*Talk to a teacher you trust
*Talk to a teacher that all the kids love even if you don’t know them
*Talk to the guidance councilor at your school
*Talk to a trusted church person
*Talk to a good friend’s parents

Go to the person you chose and tell them that you are worried about something that is happening to you. You need their help to solve the problem.

If it is a teacher, they may want you to talk to the guidance counsellor. These people are there to help you; that’s their job.

You take a chance when you confide in an adult. The chance is how much you say before they feel they need to report what you’re saying. By law, teachers and guidance councilors must report abusive actions against a child. But, if you are frightened, then you tell the absolute truth and take the chance.

These people will ONLY want to help by reporting it and that they are on your side. A lot of kids will think THEY will be in trouble if the authorities get involved. And they are feeling very lonely right now too.

They are there to HELP YOU, not your parents or any other adult or person who is causing you to feel threatened or abused. Most teachers and counsellors and other adults who work with children, truly love kids and want to help you. The hardest thing to remember is that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

One other thing. Your own sexuality, whatever it happens to be, is 100% not important and need never be mentioned to anyone at all. It doesn’t matter if you are gay, str8 or into furniture (Sorry, I was thinking of a terrier there). The only thing that is relevant if you are or feel you are in danger is you yourself.

Brian, that advice holds good for prety much any situation where you are under some sort of pressure.

If the issue is that you are overwhelmed by feelings of being gay then there are several places for help. One such is Revd Dusty Pruit, a lesbian minister who has offered to team up with us here to offer what guidance she may. Another is the Keshet Rabbis site. I do not think your faith matters. What matters is that people exist to whom you can talk. http://iomfats.org/spirit/ has a way in.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: I promised you practical advice  [message #27533 is a reply to message #27532] Sun, 22 January 2006 14:14 Go to previous message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



I should add that posting here is a good idea.

I almost killed myself when I was outed in school at 17 or so. I woudl have goven a lot to be able to post here without fear and talk about my awful (at the time) experiences.

Do not attempt death. The boy who loves you will miss you. And you do not yet know who he is. You may not have met him yet, but you will.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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