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Thanks guys. This time thanks for helping me stay around. Nate more or less covered what happened. I was foolish and not careful. Ive learned my lesson. Timmy, Cossie, Grasshopper, Marc and everybody, thanks so much.
Now Im gonna go read one of Grasshoppers stories and have a good cry.
Brian
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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Crying is good, it frees you. I am glad you are still with us. May you find the peace you seek, Brian.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Nothing is worth dying over.
I have a very good friend indeed in Australia. He used to be online every day and needed all the support he could get. He tried death and only just missed it. By some wonderful things all going right he was saved. Ask him today if he is pleased to be alive and his answer is "YES!" with no hesitation.
His attempt at death at 13 or so led to his being currently somewhat incapacitated, and caused him to need open heart surgery. He also had a stroke.
His reasons to die were "valid" in his head because he was unable in his head to escape from the awful abuse he was suffering at the hands of relatives. Yet all he had to do was to speak to someone he trusted. It happens he spoke to his brother and thus to his father. And his abusers are rotting in jail because he is brave as a lion.
I know he will not mind my syaing this much here. He alwasy wants to give something back. And his life now is an example of why death is not an appropriate choice.
He allowed (I use the word on purpose. He recognises it now) his abusers to abuse him by fearing them and their empty threats. All abused boys and girls, men and women do that. The nature of an abuser is one of horrible bullying and lies. Once he found their threats to be empty he then felt the guilt that victims feel under such circumstances. He has been working throiugh that very successfully.
Brian, the message in all this is that no-one has control over you under these circumstances except you, yourself. You may not be able physically to fend off someone who hurts you, but you have the power by using a trusted adult to remove them from your life.
Once they are removed then you can get on with being the best Brian you can be.
Remember: No-one who truly loves you will want your body if you do not want to give it. Someone who loves you loves the whole Brian, not simply his genitals. Love is not getting your rocks off. Love is all consuming. And in general adults and young teens do not make true loving couples, even if the teen starts it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Brian,
Being gay is about the hardest of the many facets of the human condition to deal with. A young person with all the emotions and feelings welling up within them is difficult enough but having to endure all the inner tourmoil without the support of friends and family can be traumatic. Fate however has a way of placing before you opportunities otherwise easily overlooked. This message board is one such opportunity.
Here you can ask questions and expect an honest answer. You can also rant, scream, cry, laugh, yes, and even emote as much as you need without fear of reprisal or judgment.
But one more thing.... Remember that you are as important as any other person, anywhere, here or at home or school. Even though sometimes you may feel that you are all alone, you aren't. This place is open 24-7 and always ready to listen.
I think I have made my point....
If you need, you may email me....
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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