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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I was dozing this morning and I started wondering. I looked over my having done it and I have no idea. I wondered if anyone else had an idea.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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It has to be more than a smile, surely?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I agree about the eyes, the smile. And also the smell - some men just smell gorgeous, and I think one of the reasons I don't go for women is that they just (to me) don't.
The way they engage with life - full-on, enthusiastic, always trying new things, challenging me to explore as well. It often shows in body language, visible on first meeting.
Someone who needs me - someone who can only be as exploratory as they are if they have someone who will support them unconditionally (and I'm told that I give this impression - I hope it's true)
Someone who thinks that walking hand-in-hand across a field is as important as having mad passionate sex.
Which probably explains why I take three or four months of knowing someone before I realise that I've gradually fallen in love (as far as I remember - it's been a long time!).
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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I tend to look at odd things: hair that curls over the back of a collar, nervous habits like twirling bits of hair into knots, a crooked smile, sun squint/laughter lines at the corners of eyes, kindness to animals, moving to help before anyone else, a feeling that he's listening just to you.....lots of little things.
I just read an article that said: A team of scientists stated that romantic love involves chemical changes in the brain that last 12 to 18 months. After that, you're on your own to keep the feelings you had alive. The article ended with a little story about an elderly couple, the wife had Alzheimers. The husband, 92, came every day to the hospital and held her hand. So, it's the things we see that kick it off, but there has to be so much more to keep it going, right?
I guess after 18 months my dream guy would need a haircut, I'd hate his twisting that hunk of hair, but the smile, the laughter, the kindness, the caring, the listening would hold it together.
Have a great day
{{hugs}}
Jamie
"You have your way. I have my way. As far as the right way, the correct way, and the only way - it doesn't exist."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I have fallen in real love twice, I think. And fallen deeply in lust often. And falling in lust has not led to love, nor love always to lust. But it gets more complex than that.
My first love: I fell for the blond hair on his arms, it made me interested in him. And I tried to become his friend but ended up in love and then in lust with him. I loved his smile, eyes, cheeks, arms, not legs or body particularly, and what I felt hsi personality was. I lioved his free spirit and his "all boy nature"
My second is my wife. Apart from being a lady she is all my first love was not. Beautiful, yes. So was he to me. But she is feminine, slim, smiling kind and maternal. I wonder if I needed a mother. I did move from love to lust, but the lust was more self contained. Fioery, but not a wild fire.
Falling in lust - ah so many boys and even one girl. Almost all the time to lust I have needed blond hair and blue eyes, a cheeky smile and flashing attitude.
But we can fall for people online, unmet, no pictures seen, too. And I have. But what have I fallen for there? And the answer has to be an image, in my head, of what I perceive them to be. I so do not mean cybersex lust. Anhyone can do that. I do mean love. Love where you care for them and about them. They compind th eimage when they "speak" and so do I. I think it is the ultimate fantasy. The end of the fantasy can be tough. It ends as deep and abiding friendship, or as animosity, or the worst - it just ends.... as nothing. And I have experienced all of these.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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This made me kinda think. Why am I in love with Donny? Well its not his looks (altho he is cute), not his athletic body (hes too skinny like me). then what NW and Grasshopper said. I believe they are 100% right. Its the soul of a person. How they care for you, how they are sympathetic when they need to be, but also firm when needed. The way they touch you, the kindness in their voice. How they suprise you by kissing you in public (talking about gay boys here). How being with you is the most important thing in the world. How they come running when you really need them. All of this is visa versa.
How your heart beats 90 miles an hour whenever you see them. How you just melt when they touch you. How you gasp for air when they kiss you. How their words make you blush. Most of all, how they smell. I love the way Donny smells. He has his own smell, I really cant describe it. Even after a shower, it comes right thru the soap. I love to sit with his head on my shoulder and smell his hair and I just melt.
I think it is a combination of a lot of things that have to all come together. what I know beyond anythig else is that I love him and thats all I need to know.
Got to get busy or they will think Im slacking off in class.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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When I fall in love with a person it is the heart I love most.
Looks are fleeting. It is what one finds within the entire experience of the loved ones company, his presence, that makes loving someone a not only physical but also spiritual.
But a nice ass doesn't hurt any.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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What do we fall in love with when we fall for a person? 
