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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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That whenever a youth makes an entrance to the board that posts gain an undertone of subtle sexuality?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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No, I haven't.
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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While I have not noticed it, if others have, and I have had a report behind the scenes to me that this is the case, then I feel we shoudl consider our general maturity as a group.
I do not mean our age. A child of 8 can be more mature than a man of 80.
I think we must be very careful about the line that divides pleasant flirting from any overtly or covertly sexual behaviour.
Can every one of us please consider our actions in this regard. My overriding objective here is to make this as safe a board as any such board can be for young and old alike to come, commune, and stay or go away having gained something. I would not be pleased if that something were posisble to interpret as "grooming" in any manner.
I do not monitor posts here much. I post as a member usually, rather than as moderator. I don't want to be a moderator either, buty if I have to be i will be.
We want a safe playground, please. Not one where there are "oddities"
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Timmy. I tease Cossie some just for fun, guess you could call it mild flerting. I have not noticed anyone grooming anybody. When it gets to the place where we cant have a bit of harmless fun, then everybody is gonna become bitter and boring. Guess Ill just have to watch what I say, or someone will accuse me of having fun.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think the issue is a simple one. First do, please, have fun.
Second be careful, all of us, about any possibility for being accused of impropriety. It would be terrible to find we were the centre of any form of scandal.
Tease away. I think we must simply be careful of sexual overtones 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Chapter and verse, please, Marc.
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Is that a yes or a no?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Can we not do chapter and verse, please? I think it will serve no purpose
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Thanks Timmy, Ill try my best to not start any scandles. Im old enough to be able to handle myself. I like everybody here and Im having the time of my life here.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I get the impression that there is a bit of resistance to this legitimate question.
If any one thinks I am pointing fingers then all I have to say is that you are mistaken. After all..... Have any of you ever known me to mince words?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Not if you are beyond the age of majority.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Marc:
>I get the impression that there is a bit of resistance to this legitimate question.
I don't see resistance. The question asks for a yes-no answer and so far you have had:
i. two straight 'no's (me and JFR)
ii. one 'no' from Timmy, but with an offer to look into the matter if he receives a specific complaint, and a warning to be careful
iii. one request for further information (Nigel)
iv. one admission to teasing/flirting (Brian), but I personally would not go so far as to suggest that it indicates an "undertone of sexuality". Not one that was not here before, certainly. People flirt all the time. Even if it does, so what?
I don't see any point in stirring the waters, as (as far as I can see) everyone here is intelligent and perfectly capable of taking care of himself. Can we close this topic now?
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Well, you see, not everyone is capable of taking care of themselves.
If they were, then there would realy be no need for them to visit here now would there?
When I ask questions I do it for a reason.
I see little need in asking for a "by your leave" when I do.
Oh... And I never ask a question if there is no need to do so.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Marc wrote:
> That whenever a youth makes an entrance to the board that posts gain an undertone of subtle sexuality?
Not so much that they gain an undertone of subtle sexuality, more that the undertone of acceptable mild flirting is more frequent / noticeable; not so much a youth, more anyone who is coming to terms with being partly or wholely gay - yes, I've noticed.
I think it's great that this place of safety is somewhere that people can feel free to try different ways of relating to others. I think that everyone is aware of the boundaries of appropriate behaviour, and I'm sure that if these were ever transgressed, other posters would (I hope gently) point this out. For me, so far, there hasn't in the year of so I've been hanging round here, been anything even remotely approaching the inappropriate.
And, when it comes down to it, flirting is one of the ways of checking out whether a person or situation *really* is safe: you appear to take someone close to your own boundary and trust them not to take things beyond it. I may not do it on the net (I'm of the generation that tends to feel that anything in writing is permanent and might come back and bite me!), but I certainly do it when meeting groups of new people sometimes.
And, actually, the place of safety would be rather grim if it didn't have such a lighthearted leavening!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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>Well, you see, not everyone is capable of taking care of themselves.
>If they were, then there would realy be no need for them to visit here now would there?
Hang on, you're saying that people only come here because they need help? What about those who come here because they actually like talking to other like-minded people? It's a bit presumptuous to assume that the members are only using this board because they can't cope without it. Sometimes it is true. But not always.
I agree that there's a potential risk, if someone comes here who is young, impressionable, not experienced with using the internet or meeting other people, possibly depressed or suicidal, and is very free about where they live and their habits. I don't see anyone meeting that description here at the moment, so as far as I am concerned this is a hypothetical situation.
>When I ask questions I do it for a reason.
Okay, that's fine. Are you going to let us know the reason? If it's simply to raise the issue: great. But now it's cleared up and everyone is a little wiser. What else do you need to know?
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Hear, hear!
David
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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If you look back over postings covering the last couple of months, it will be absolutely evident that this snide observation can only refer to the banter between Brian and myself.
You may remember that Brian was not a happy bunny when he came to the board; I sincerely believe that his interaction with those who post here has been of benefit to him. It became evident that he had a rather off-beat sense of humour - as I do myself - and I have enjoyed prompting that humour and participating in ludicrous exchanges such as our discussion about the colour of a t-shirt which never existed in the first place. Humour can penetrate every aspect of life, including sexual relations, and I do not deny that one or two of my comments could be considered to have a sexual content.
I live in North-East England. Brian lives in Rednecksville USA. I have never been in contact with him other than in this forum, but my impression from his contribution here is that he is a great kid who has had something of a raw deal in his life so far. I am old enough to be his grandfather, and have never attempted to conceal that fact. Nor have I concealed my opposition to the abuse of minors. I do not know whether I have succeeded, but I have tried to make it clear that Brian is liked and welcomed here. I am sure that he is cute, too, but that does not mean that I have any sexual designs upon him, or for that matter upon anyone else outside my marriage.
Unlike you, Mark, I try to be courteous in my exchanges on this board. I also try to be explicit rather than enigmatic, so that others can clearly understand what I am trying to say. And I like having verbal fun whenever the opportunity presents itself. Last night I suggested, as gently as I could, that you might like to apologise to Deeej for your wholly unjustified rudeness in response to one of his posts in another thread. You have declined to do so. I very strongly suspect that this thread is your rather sordid way of striking back at me.
Your posting has compromised my integrity. If you were NOT directing your remarks at me, I demand that you make this clear by specifying the postings which had concerned you. If you WERE directing those remarks against me I need to know explicitly from the other regular posters that they do not accept that your remarks have any justification or validity. Until the matter is clarified, I do not feel able to post again.
Marc, you make a virtue out of not mincing your words. From where I stand, that seems a pitiful defence for appalling rudeness.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Don't flatter yourself.
I didn't appologise to Deej because I don't believe I owe him one.
I also don't believe it is your place to advise me reguarding it.
Reguarding this thread.......
As I previously said, "If any one thinks I am pointing fingers then all I have to say is that you are mistaken."
As for rudeness.... well that is subjective now isn't it.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Marc, why??
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Why what?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I did some looking back, and to the best of my knowledge as far as I can tell, Im the only "youth" posting in here right now.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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Whitop
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Toe is in the water |
Location: USA
Registered: June 2005
Messages: 73
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Please keep having fun, Brian!
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Seems not.
Foot stamping, needing to know precisely who and what, the lot.
I am getting sick of it.
Put simply, Marc and a couple of other people noticed that something was improper. Marc asked in public and a couple asked me in private. It is actually time, now to become silent on the matter and to get on with life.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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But I'm afraid a general accusation tars us all with the same brush. Worse when it is unsubstantiated.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Like I said, it is time to be silent on this. We must have a victim, must we? Someone to poke and prod. It;s great to pillory a perosn and make them suffer, so let's do that.
Or better, let's not.
The question was rehtorical. The thread is closed
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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