|
|
Frank
|
 |
Getting started |
Registered: February 2006
Messages: 18
|
|
|
It's me again. See still here? I have had another suck of a week. Or perhaps it has only been a few days. But I think it has been a while none the less.
I realized why I don't like college. Everyone is pretentious here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frank,
Perhaps you could suggest what it is that you want to be doing in five or ten years' time. I know there are some very sympathetic and experienced people here who could give good advice on how to get there, provided that you're willing to be receptive to their ideas.
If you're not sure, then perhaps the best way to give yourself some impetus is to start thinking about what you're most interested in. The best jobs are also one's hobbies. And the best way to get out of depression is to know that regardless of the problems of the present, you have something to hope for.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
|
|
|
I think they are all still finding their feet.
The trick to survival is to find people like you whom you like. They exist. Try the various clubs until you find one to fit. I did. I ended up doing technical theatre, which I adored, and also the motor club (treasure hunts, rallies etc)
Tried girls, too. There was a physical fit, but the flavour didn;t suit.
I promise I am not trivialising whatg you are going through. One of us will strike a chord with you. When that happens cling on and befriend him. You may find good help that way
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
 |
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
... and I didn't like it any more than you do.
David and Timmy both offer good advice. I don't know how outgoing you are, but (though regular readers may find it hard to believe!) in my college days I was extremely shy - rural yokel in the big, bad city and all that!
I hadn't the self-confidence to join clubs in my first year, but I reasoned that the entire year group couldn't consist of pretentious prats; there had to be others like me. I volunteered to work as a barman in both the College bar and the Union Bar, and it worked a treat - I made several friends as a result of chat across the bar, and it boosted my confidence a hell of a lot. Not sure where you are; though your profile shows your timezone as GMT, some of what you say has a USA ring to it. I do realise that if you are one of the rebellious colonials working on a bar may not be an option - but maybe there are other, similar opportunities available?
Oh, and by the way - if my experience is any guide, most (though not all) students tend to become less pretentious as the course progresses!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I don't know your situation too well but perhaps a change in schools would help. Maybe taking a short break. I'm not sure what kind of school you are going to. If it's a large school, although I imagine meeting people would be tricky (it would be for me atleast), theres probably some non-pretentious people about. If it's a small school, maybe there are some cool people that live in the outer lying are that are cool. Anywho, I'm in college at the moment and if you want to chat, drop me a line (although I must say the email address in my profile is not the best way to contact me, adding a middle initial of .b and chaging the ending to gmail.com would be the most reliable way).
In any case, Good luck, I think I can relate to some extent with pretentious people.
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Now lets see......
A few thousand kids, on their own and more or less able to make their own decisions for the first time in their lives, being pretentious.
Go figure...........
College is about the most pretentious place in the world.... It's a place where free thinking and individualistic expansionism collide with all the preconcieved stereotypical notions high school filled our brains with.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
|
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
... but it doesn't make it any less shitty if you're the one that lacks confidence!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
True enough.....
But sooner or later you have to grit your teeth and venture into that great unknown.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
But seriously,,,,,,
It might help if we had a bit of background information.......
Where do you go to school?
What are your interests?
What are your expectations?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frank
|
|
Getting started |
Registered: February 2006
Messages: 18
|
|
|
I found a de-motivational poster on line. Ironically it depicted college exactly as I had been seeing it. "When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other." I think that could possibly be my frustration. Maybe I am just annoyed to once again be on the wrong side of the majority, except here unlike in high school when you were on the outside and no one said anything to you. Here if your views are dfferent you actually get a whole class of ridiculously pretentious people getting into your face.
MAybe I am just used to a more laid back form of hatred but whatever. I suppose that it is probably good that I am finally learning that regardless of your interests people are people and people will be people. Like I give a shit... I just don't understand why if I don't get in there faces they need to get in mine.
Honestly telling me to leave the college becuase I am preventing people who aren't pessimistic from doing anything worthwhile seems quite silly. Maybe just to me though. I suppose from their view I am just another naysayer to be quieted so that they can create some sort of pseudo environmental/ humanitarian rebellion.
Timmy and all you make good points, except that all the clubs here cater towards the people I hate. I suppose maybe I went to the wrong school, but without an interest in college to begin with or any aspirations for the future in either college, work, or life It isn't really too important what school I currently reside at.
Perhaps they are right and I am pessimistic but I don't know if I care anymore. It is just another four years to drag through so that I can go somewhere else and let the count down begin anew.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Then why are you wasting your time in college at all?
Why not just find a job and go on with your life as you see fit?
Albeit, college is a roadway to a carreer and a good future.... but truth be told, the world needs someone to flip those burgers and salt the fries.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
|
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
... we can spew out crap platitudes endlessly, but unless you tell us more about what you want from life, we aren't really helping you.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frank
|
|
Getting started |
Registered: February 2006
Messages: 18
|
|
|
If I knew what I wanted from life I could go about to get it. I don't have a clue what I want from life, or from a major, or just about anything else except to be alive, and that isn't too difficult of a goal.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
|
|
|
Ok, Alive is a good start
Think about:- what you enjoy
- what you are good at
- what you aspiure to own
- what relationship you aspire to
- you may be gay or bi, but do you want kids?
- Country, city, town, vilage, lakeshore/seashore?
- .......
It doesn't have to be college. It just has to fit who you are
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
What do you do when you are not at school?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frank
|
|
Getting started |
Registered: February 2006
Messages: 18
|
|
|
currently not capable of really doing anything because of injuries, so I suppose I sit here.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Then what did yu prior to your injuries?
Also.... What happened to cause these injuries?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The reason adults have been asking kids for years “what are you going to be when you grow up” is they are looking for ideas.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
yu = you do
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Guest
|
|
On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
|
|
|
Frank, i have been reading your remarks with great interest, what you need to do is not think that the world will wait for you to grow up.
i can imagine that you are just the type of uniterested person that the tutor loves.
The first thing you need to do is like what you see in the mirrow then you can move on and into uni or factory that can provide you with an income to survive in the big world.
I think you need to leave the child behind, people have offered you advise but i feel you dont listen. ??
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frank wrote:
> currently not capable of really doing anything because of injuries, so I suppose I sit here.
Injuries that stop you doing what you're used to doing (especially if they've gone on for a while, or are expected to do so, and even more so if they involve any level of continuous pain) can *really* get people down. Seriously, often clinically so - it's called "reactive depression". I know a bit about this, having become (permanently, as it turned out) disabled a couple of years ago.
It slightly sounds to me as though your reaction to your injuries is building up the other issues you mention, and that you might not be seeing things too clearly at the moment ... this is not meant as a criticism as I had a year of doing just that! I hope that whoever you are seeing about your injuries is keeping an eye on your reaction to them - if you don't feel that they are, you should *definitely* raise the issue. It can be very helpful just to identify and reduce the "can't be arsed to do anything" feeling arising as reactive depression before feeling able to tackle longer-standing other issues.
I understand if you don't want to go into detail about the injuries here, but feel free to get anything (and especially your feelings about them) off your chest, vent, whatever is useful.
And - as a positive thought - you say currently not capable of really doing anything because of injuries, so I suppose I sit here . Actually, I hope that posting here is a positive step for you to have taken, and that from the large range of responses you've recieved, someone will trigger a useful thought or reaction.
Best wishes
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
huwar
|
|
Getting started |
Registered: May 2004
Messages: 13
|
|
|
When the suckiness of your world threatens to become overwhelming it may be helpful to narrow your perspective and to concentrate on a single task which you can do and perhaps will have to do sooner or later. Something like a term paper, a short internet course, overcoming the effects of an injury - something that will take no longer than a week or two - and shut out everything else. Investigate the library, or Google, or whatever sources may be appropriate.
Put into it everything you can muster, determine to do a superlative job. Surprise yourself and enjoy the achievement. When you are done you may well find the gloom dissipated, the broad perspective much clearer. A friend who knows your situation can help you decide what to work at.
Pretensions are often a shield for insecurity and uncertainty.
______________________________
Don't ask the way to peace, peace is the way
don't ask the way to peace; peace is the way
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Frank
|
|
Getting started |
Registered: February 2006
Messages: 18
|
|
|
Mmmm... Yeah I suppose that I know that you are right. I don't really enjoy not being able to do anything I like anymore... Working on it though, go to another doc in 2 weeks so I will see how it goes.
I had a long talk with my bf today. Discussed people mostly made me feel a bit better. I suppose that no one really likes to be made fun of. He assured me theyd all have desk jobs and be miserable everntually so not to worry. There was a lot more to it then that but that was the general gist of it.
Ah well, Worst is over just had midterms. Spring break soon, all 4 days of it. My school is lame. Then home for a bit in April and back for may woohoo... I'm dealing. Was at the doc today, got some stuff changed and am feeling a bit better.
I think some of it was a medicine/ injury induced depression so hopefully some of that is now solved
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reaaly glad to hear that you're feeling a bit better. It sounds as though your b/f is being constructive and supportive, which is great! Hope the medical changes help ... and I'm sure that the change of scenery going home for a bit in April will as well (even if it's just a different variety of boredom).
Please don't worry if things sometimes seem to slip backwards a bit - progress usually works like that: it's just a natural thing and nothing to get too steamed up about.
all the best - let us know how you get on.
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
