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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I’m…….. Sorry I complain so much. Sorry I say something when I see something not quite right. Sorry I don’t joke around enough. Sorry I see things differently sometimes. Sorry I have a hard time E-Mailing responses rather than posting them. Sorry I bother so many people. Sorry I get pissed off easily. Sorry I miss a long gone friend. Sorry I get depressed sometimes. Sorry I refuse to drug myself when I do…. Sorry I speak my mind. Sorry I don’t have more of a life. Sorry I don't have the nerve......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Is when I would worry. In the mean time allow me to be sorry with you, but not for you.
I don't know where you are on the road, and there is a lot of advise that is nothing more than bullshit, but my truth is that we really do each find our own path to stumble down. My experiences do not apply much to your life, or others to mine.
That having been said, I have found that when I look at my feet - I stumble
but if I pick a point on the horizon I can usually get there.
Good luck with your walk today
Tell us about it tonight if you like
People do listen
Regards
Simon
(by the way, what was the e-mail comment about? Is there something I'm missing on here?)
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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I'm sorry you have to feel sorry and I'm sorry that you have to apologise for it. "A problem shared is a problem halved".
Marc, I think you need to "talk" to people with both hands tied behind your back - so that you just can't push them away!
In many ways you make yourself into a self-fulfilling prophecy; which is such a damned shame, because through all your morose negativity most people can see a great heart hidden, deep down.
[I have donned my asbestos suit, so flame away. It's OK.]
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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Marc,
We're all inclined to be a bit grumpy or unhappy at times. I am sometimes (often?). You're still by far one of the two most prolific posters on this board; I don't think there's anyone among the board regulars who has not valued your opinions over the years.
For what it's worth, I haven't seen any cliques or clubs round here. If there is one, it has concealed itself remarkably well -- which would rather defeat the object of having a clique in the first place.
David
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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None of these are necessary.
All that anyone wants from you is that which you want from others for yourself.
I want nothing form you except friendship. I give nothing to you except friendship. I am not inviting you for a ride and then driving off.
As a true friend I will also tell you clearly when I feel you are wrong. I do not expect you to alter your ways, but I expect you to listen. I will receive the same from you
And the last one. Never have that nerve.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Can we talk about this?
Am I the only one that thinks about it EVERY day?
So far you can tell, because I am here typing, that the answer has been 'no'. But the thought has always been there, and I suspect that on the day that it becomes a choice between that and the ventlator....
No one call 911 or anything, no intervntion is necessary, I've already decided for today.
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Marc
I have never sent an e-mail to anyone that I didn't know first. However, you have made me think of something that I wrote a million years ago for my foster son. It was a re-telling of a joke, but it applies and I was/am proud of the writing.
Regards-
S
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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We're here with you brother! I about KNEW there were some issues going on. Simon was new & perhaps sensitive, possibly hadn't seen your other side.
I hope you have a sunny good day. I hate those 'clouds' in life. I've endured them for years (42 to be exact!).
I refuse to drug myself also. Valium didn't help as a kid & tho poss ADHD now I'm not going to drug myself. they've all side effects. Ginseng & Ginko Biloba help alot tho, as well as understanding, nice friends!
Gotta go to work now, TeddyBear.
P.S. I've updated my Profile again to reflect myself better. ::-) Y'all please forgive my social gaffs, but correct me when need be.
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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No Message Body
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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May you what?
I'm confused......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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send you something privately
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Marc wrote:
> May you what?
>
> I'm confused....
Hi why dont you listen to what people say and you will get help stop the self pity bit and move on...:-/
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Marc, Im your friend, have been, are, and will be. I told you I wouldnt fade away and I wont. But Im human, I think, so sometimes I get sidetracked and a lot of times I get hurt. You have nothing to be sorry for. You speak your mind straight forward. I've not had any problem with anything you have stated. If someone doesnt understand then its not your fault. everybody gets depressed, even me, and I can get depressed bad. they had me on Wellbutrin, but I refused to take it, I dont want an artificial happyness. Your my friend, and I dont care what anyone else thinks.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You know, while people may need to get over things and move on, doing that is not always as easy as telling them to.
We all have different damage. Some are able to get over things easier than others.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Things have haappened this last 2-3 days....
I always have difficulty getting past this time of year and for a while I was doing just fine (for the first year in about 25 or so).....
Someone said something to make ssome past events come to the fore of my memory.....
I wish i could get past this... but it just keeps growing within me and i feel like i am going to loose control.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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i dont think about it every day.... this time of year it forces its way to the surface more then at others....
this is not the me i want to be
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Marc,
I often feel the same way -- in fact, I'm surprised things have gone so well so far this year. I guess it may be because I'm very busy at the moment. Plus I'm starting to plan what I'm going to do this summer, so I have something look forward to.
I'm afraid I don't have any practical hints (apart from keeping busy) as I don't know your situation in any detail; but are there people you can talk to about it in real life?
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No.... no one in real life to talk with.....
I used to take therapy when I was still teaching and had the benefits to pay for it but that is no longer an option.
I keep busy too.... but apparently not busy enough....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Things happened a long time ago, harms that will not seem to heal. I have tried all the common routes of treatment, therapy, all the prescription drugs, many that were not... alcohol, isolation.... none seem to work.... often for a time i manage to push these feelings to the back of my mind and feel all right for a time,,, but it never lasts for long. threre are times of the year when i get the darkest of notions in my mind.
i stopped the drugs and most all the alcohol as well as the isolation...
There are some subjects that cause me to rebel because they fall too close to an occurance painful to remember. i know i sometimes go overboard and i know i post in cryptic phrases but i dont do that intentionally. when my mind begins the spiral,,, thoughts sometimes come too fast and become intermixed so i post them as fast as i can manage.
i dont mean to be such a pain in the ass.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You know, that is why those of us who know you make room for you.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Then you know why this place is so desparatly important to me.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I always have  You are welcome here, Marc. Just let others in, quietly, into your life
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I try....... but it never seems to work.....
i always seem to screw it up
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The advice is simple to give.
Persevere. Work hard when other walk away because they don't understand. Ask them back. Ask them simply to allow you to get it wrong while you are learning to get it right.
It is not so easy to do, but it is possible. It takes work, as much work as getting it wrong, but the outcome is more pleasant.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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The migraine has blossomed. This is the worse yet and I have had some winners in the migraine world series of brain twisting, hot poker on the back of the eyeballs headaches.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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~passes you a cold wet towel from the freezer cabinet~
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Do these happen on a regular basis? If so, have you tried medication? There are some good prescription migraine-specific tablets available these days.
David
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Is this a stress problem? I used to suffer what might have been migraine style headaches some years ago, and I know now that it was stress that caused them.
These days I have little to stress over and I haven't had a headache in ages. Only 'virtual' headaches are applicable these days!
Whatever your best de-stressing trick may be that works for you, apply that when one of those attacks comes on. To lay down or sit restfully whilst playing a soothing piece of music quietly used to do it for me.
Mike.g
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I once was hit in the face square on with a bat of sorts.....
I never realy saw it coming as I was preoccupied with the two or three kicking me in the back abd ribs.
The physician at the time said there was some bone fragments in the sinus cavity. It has been determined that these are the cause of the migranes.
As for medication, I have in the past used the strongest pain killers available and all to no avail. I figured that if these do nothing then there is no point trying headache pills.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Well, I'm not a doctor and I have no idea about the medications available, but my mother is and she has terrible migraines from time to time that normal headache pills won't shift. But there are special medications that do work, though they need to be prescribed by a doctor. Were your "strongest pain killers available" prescribed by a doctor specifically for the migraines?
It may be that there's nothing that you can do about the cause of the migraines (indeed, as I understand it many migraines have no apparent underlying causes at all) but you can often treat the symptoms.
David
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There is an outline of the treatments available on this page, and many of them do require that you see a doctor. If you have recurring migraines, you might be able to find something that will nip them in the bud.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migraine
Further than that, I have no suggestions, I'm afraid.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Well you see there is the crux of the problem....
I have a phobia of doctors..... Actually it is more of a deep rooted hatred for the entire profession..... If I accidently drive past a hospital I become violently ill..... The thought of going to a physician is beyond what I am capable at this time in my life..... But I am working on it.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I was told once that there are techniques for removing the fragments but that would require me seeing a doctor....
Not an option......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I'm sorry to hear of your doctor phobia. Migraines suck. Migraines are basically the reason I have failed out of college. There are some great medications out on the market now for migraines. They even have ones that are injectable. I am currently on an anti-convulsant medication (they are kind of a jack-of-all trades medicine) that seems to help my migraines. This medicine also works out well because i guess I have epilepsy. It also is used for bi-polar disorder and thus it has some mood stabilizing effects which are kind of cool too. It's a strange drug.
What painkillers where you on ? Oxycontin(or oxycodone, depending on if it is time-release or not) or hydromorphone(or dilaudid if you are going with the non-generic name) ? Those seem to be the strongest painkillers I have encountered. I can't really imagine anything standing up to hydromorphone. One of my random interests is pharmacology BTW.
Getting hit in the head with baseball bats sucks too. Mine happened as a result of an accident however that didn't stop it from cracking my skull although I'm quite sure that having bone fragments in your sinus cavity is much worse.
Good Luck Marc
David
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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Marc, I always look forward to your posts and your often times different perspective on things. This board would really be lacking if it weren't for that. This probably isn't quite coming out right, but, your coo' man. I admire your straight-forwardness.
In this thread, you remind me alot of one of my good friends. In fact, I remember him saying some of the exact phrases that you have said.
David
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I wasn't realy sure if it was a bat..... I was rather peroccupied at the time. When I came awake in the hospital room the doctor that attended me said it could have been a bat or it could have been the heel of a boot. I always thought it to be a bat because I did see a bat being swung at my partner.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Kevy had to make a retrieval of some merchandise we aquired as I could not go out into the sunlight. Upon his return I had to help him unload the truck because the stuff was too heavy for him to get in alone. Having sold one of the HUGE items to a friend we decided it easier to deliver it rather than bring it in and then later having to deliver it anyway.
So we did...... While there I got some herbal medicine from an Indian shaman... a balm of sorts that rubs into the temple as well as the back of the neck areas. It helped a tiny bit.
On the drive home we had a flat tire! Of course the lug nuts were put on with an air gun so they were nearly impossibly tight.
One other injury of that fateful night was a badly broken shoulder.... all put to rights with little metal plates and screws.... Well when trying and straining to make an effort at loosening the lug nuts I tore something loose and holy CRAP! DOES IT HURT! (i am allowed to yell if it is in pain)(so there:-P )
I managed to get about 1 hour of sleep in about 10 minute bouts last night and am looking today at work like it is a punishment.
This has to be the worse headache of all time!!!!!!!!!
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Thats quite a night. I hear peppermint oil and cayanne pepper are actually supposed to be good for migraines. There is also an herb called "feverfew" which is reported to help. It works by limiting the release of serotonin and protaglandins (inflammatory agents). Magnesium and roboflavin are also reported to help. My mom picked me up a small pamphlet the other day that I got this information from BTW.
Good Luck at work
David
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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