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Hey, all! Sorry I've been away as of late; I've been swamped with classwork (including a full-length script). If you want to see my latest project, I've up-loaded it onto "youtube." Here's the url:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH0nBUIy0UQ
If you do watch it, as it says in the description, comments are very much appreciated.
Thanks a bunch,
-Matthew
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It's called "Stop MagIC Wand," and is a four-minute psychological thriller about a college student who notices some strange goings-on around him.
The emphasis is on style and cinematography, though the story is meant to be rather complex for a short film; hence, it may take more than one viewing to fully "get it." Of course, if you don't, feel free to inquire; I'll answer any questions.
-Matthew
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Hi Matthew,
Okay, I've watched your film three times and I'm writing down the comments that come to mind. To let you know my background -- I'm a film student, with a principal interest in cinematography. I'm also, as everyone around here will tell you, very pedantic and can be rather blunt at times. So, my apologies in advance -- if you would rather not read this, then please ignore this post.
Technical things:
For some reason, the sound syncronisation drifted by a couple of seconds when I watched it -- it was probably a problem with Youtube. But, apart from that minor thing, I thought the sound design was good. Did someone write the music specifically? It fitted the mood well and helped to set the pace.
As regards the cinematography: there was some good, fluid camera movement; also interesting use of crash zooms, jump cuts, POV shots and so on (all things that break the conventional rules of film-making, I might add). I liked the use of the video monitor. I have to say I think the whole thing could have benefited from some lighting design. Most of the lighting was really flat. (Of course, I would say that: I'm a cinematographer, and most of cinematography is in the lighting.)
The film's theme:
The film sustained interest for its full length. It told an interesting story and had a fast pace. I was a bit bewildered at the end (until I watched it again), but that was intentional, so I'll let it pass.
There wasn't much opportunity for reflection or empathy, no character building or justified change in outlook -- the most interesting part of the film would have been why the protagonist changed his mind about participating in the experiment, but I didn't feel it was explained. At the beginning I assume we were supposed to wonder if he was paranoid -- yet I couldn't see any evidence for that, apart from what he said. The actions weren't paranoid, as they were so quickly justified as being necessary. And why was he cleaning a mirror? The significance of that was lost on me.
Acting/directing:
I thought the acting was pretty strong.
I felt some of the actions jarred a bit -- like leaving the key in the car, so that one of the goons could grab it; one of the goons putting his hand over the camera, so that everything would go black; the protagonist putting his foot over the camera (what was he supposed to be treading on?); and angling the phone towards the camera. They worked in that they told the story, but they didn't work as part of the diagesis, and were rather odd if you noticed them.
The voice at the end was a bit faceless -- I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be in the room or not. Did it come out of a speaker? Was the person in the room but you were intentionally concealing him? It was a little frustrating. It was also a bit too scientific, I thought: there was no moment of revelation (which there could have been) because there was so much exposition.
I'll stop there before you start sending me hate mail. If any of my criticisms seem too harsh -- I'm really sorry. However, I have seen a lot of student films and a lot of "proper" films and I tend to view them all as degrees of the same thing. Hence saying it was "a good student film" wouldn't do it justice -- that would be a form of condemnation in itself. Please feel free to explain any points you think I didn't "get".
Whatever you think of this review, please, keep making films! I enjoyed watching it, and that's what counts.
Best regards,
David
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>POV shots and so on (all things that break the conventional rules of film-making, I might add)
Oops, a POV shot doesn't break the rules. But jump cuts and any type of on-screen zoom do.
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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The URL brings up an 'Error 404' message - maybe the ether's jammed with people trying to get through! I'll try again tomorrow!
Btw, Deeej, just to be pedantic! - there's an 'h' in synchronisation. Heh, heh! ;-D ;-D
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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First of all, I have no idea what happened with the sound; it probably is the site, because it looks fine on my end.
I agree with your assessment of my cinematography only if by "conventional" you mean "Hollywood Realism," because I've seen those techniques employed in a lot of Structuralist cinema, among others.
It's funny you mention lighting design, because we actually had an omni right outside the window to boost the "sunlight" effect when he opened the shade, and I worked to give the mirror scene some depth by keeping the back pretty dark. Ultimately, though, I do agree - I could have spent more time on the set-ups.
Unfortunately, with a four minute maximum, the characters suffered to serve the story, though I think his motivation for attempting to cease the study is pretty clear: stalkers, headaches, flash-backs, it's no bed of roses.
The only way I can justify leaving the car keys is his panic and desire to get as far away as fast as possible.
There is a lot of exposition, I agree, which kind of ruins the conclusion, but I felt it was necessary to understand the symbolism of the movie...which was:
Broken lines and personal identity. The philosophical issue brought up in the film is the idea of being connected to one's past, and how that affects one's identity. If a person doesn't remember an act (signing something, for example) and if memory is part of our identity in that we are the sum of our past, is that present person the same person as the one who performed the past action? Hence, broken lines play a big part in the film.
The cleaning fluid drips down the mirror, and he breaks its path with the towell; it also serves to sever his face in two. The stairs surround him with parallel railing rungs. Even the parking lot in which he stands contains non-continuous painted lines, on which he steps in the film's conclusion, indicating that he is again separated from his past.
All in all, I generally agree with a lot of your points, seeing as how they are things I've caught myself, but that's the paradox with a super-short film: what gets emphasized?
Thanks for the feedback,
-Matthew
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Hi Matthew,
>I agree with your assessment of my cinematography only if by "conventional" you mean "Hollywood Realism," because I've seen those techniques employed in a lot of Structuralist cinema, among others.
I've also seen them used in otherwise very conventional cinema. There's nothing wrong with breaking the rules, provided you know exactly why you're breaking them.
>It's funny you mention lighting design, because we actually had an omni right outside the window to boost the "sunlight" effect when he opened the shade, and I worked to give the mirror scene some depth by keeping the back pretty dark. Ultimately, though, I do agree - I could have spent more time on the set-ups.
I stand by my assessment of the lighting, I'm afraid. It's great that you did use some extra lighting -- but, I have to confess, the best parts were out of keeping with the lighting in the rest of the film (especially the outdoor stuff), so I thought it was a fortunate accident. I'd watch your film again and give it more scrutiny, but I'm afraid that for some reason youtube doesn't seem to be working any more.
>Unfortunately, with a four minute maximum, the characters suffered to serve the story, though I think his motivation for attempting to cease the study is pretty clear: stalkers, headaches, flash-backs, it's no bed of roses.
Okay. I'm pretty much of the character first, plot second school. If the plot obscures the character, then some should be jettisoned. Any person would behave in that way, so I don't think it really counts as "character".
>The only way I can justify leaving the car keys is his panic and desire to get as far away as fast as possible.
Ah, yes -- but it didn't feel very natural. You made such a play out of the goon grabbing them that I thought it meant they were going to have some significance -- but they didn't.
>The cleaning fluid drips down the mirror, and he breaks its path with the towell; it also serves to sever his face in two.
Okay, now I understand that. But it doesn't illustrate the plot. In a film of that length, everything must have meaning, not just metaphorically, but diagetically -- either to illustrate a character, or to further the plot. In fact, that applies to a film of any length. Otherwise you'll confuse the audience, which is not necessarily aware of your artistic justification.
I suppose that is opinion, but it holds true for virtually all films with any semblance of conventional narrative.
>that's the paradox with a super-short film: what gets emphasized?
Oh, character, every time. In my films, anyway.
Thanks for not taking my remarks personally.
Deeej
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Matthew said,
>>Unfortunately, with a four minute maximum, the characters suffered to serve the story, though I think his motivation for attempting to cease the study is pretty clear: stalkers, headaches, flash-backs, it's no bed of roses.
I said,
>Okay. I'm pretty much of the character first, plot second school. If the plot obscures the character, then some should be jettisoned. Any person would behave in that way, so I don't think it really counts as "character".
I'd like to add to that paragraph: in fact, the plot should stem directly from the character. So instead of manipulating the character to suit the plot, you should create a fully-rounded character, and then think, "How would this character behave in this situation?" and take the plot from there. Even if you don't reveal all aspects of the character you came up with over the course of the film, it will give him some depth.
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Regarding the mirror scene.
It doesn't detract from the plot; he would need "business" while talking anyway, why not have those potentially banal actions serve to support the theme, instead?
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>Regarding the mirror scene.
>It doesn't detract from the plot; he would need "business" while talking anyway, why not have those potentially banal actions serve to support the theme, instead?
Firstly, the link to the theme is pretty tenuous and not at all apparent to the audience (unless they are briefed before or afterwards, which defeats the object of being able to watch a film as a self-contained text). Who is the film for? An intelligent mainstream audience? Or critics? By the way it is told, I would assume that it is the former. So you need to make something that is accessible and understandable on every level to them as well, and only takes on an extra dimension when you look for it. And even then the extra dimension needs to be reasonably obvious, or people won't see it: most critical analysis of a film is done by critics who have no knowledge of the director's intentions.
Why could he not be doing something that is both illustrative of character and has a deeper meaning outside the film's universe? To use an example off the top of my head, if the protagonist is usually of a nervous and edgy disposition (which would explain why his friend was not prepared to believe him) then he could be checking something time and time again, in a paranoid fashion. Then, by all means, build on that to tie into the theme, but make sure it works on its own first. You could even still have him washing the mirror, but cleaning the same spot over and over obsessively, not in the relaxed way he does it in the film. Even better would be if the scene is mirrored (no pun intended) later in the film, but when it happens again he reacts differently, because his character has changed. (And, of course, it would need to be justified why he behaved in that way that time.)
As you say yourself, four minutes is not a long time to tell a story. An action not detracting from the plot is not enough; as director, you need to make sure every action has significance, both inside and outside the story.
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...I think you underestimate the audience.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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That was fun. There's a TV series in that, not unlike "The Prisoner" (very brit)
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hey, thanks!
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>Personally ... I think you underestimate the audience.
I can only go by what I myself found, and that is that I was mystified by the mirror cleaning scene. Perhaps you could try asking round other people (other people you have not yet explained it to) and see if they understand its significance.
I'm sorry if I seem a bit of a snob -- I'm also of the "do whatever you want if it'll make a popular film" school (i.e. in the end, film-making is a business, so if a film makes money it doesn't matter how it is constructed -- unless it's a hobby, in which case even the money doesn't matter!) The Matrix, for example, has a great story but also completely boring and un-fleshed out characters. And it made a hell of a lot of money. (Though I don't remember any scenes the significance of which were not immediately or retrospectively apparent to its audience.)
I do hope that the diminishing length of your replies are not indicative that I have offended you. I wondered for a long time before posting my first reply whether I should just say "Thanks -- I enjoyed watching that" (true) or say more critical things that might potentially be constructive. If you'd rather it was the former, then tell me and I won't post another of these replies.
Best regards,
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Cool, I guess, but it seemed to lack a begining.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Addendum.....
I did however like the technique a great deal......
Tim is right!!! I remember "The Prisoner" series and it does remind me of it at least in spirit..... The surrealism in scene to scene imagery is neer to as close as close can be.
I for one would realy enjoy a fully developed 1/2 hour or even full hour extention of your story line.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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It also reminded me strongly of the feature film "Memento" by Christopher Nolan. Well worth seeing, if only for its interesting narrative structure -- it tells the whole story backwards. It has a similar sort of storyline -- forgotten memories, paranoia, mystery.
David
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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I think I agree with much of what Deeej has said (particularly as regards lighting), but I also agree with Timmy and Marc.
The Uni I attended was one of the first in Britain to offer a Degree course in Film and Television. I thought then, and I think now, that too much emphasis is placed on the 'art' and too little on the 'craft'. Art without craft is tedious in the extreme; craft without art can still entertain. I think you show signs of an ability to strike a balance between the two, and I wish you every success for the future.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think, after pondering for a while, I woudl have liked the mirror to be somehow significant.
I looked at it carefully while he was cleaning it. No, it did not detract from the plot, but it added nothing. He could as well have been pacing the room. Now I know you have said, pretty much, that he had to be doing something, and cleaning the mirror was as good as anything, but I wanted a significance to his "something"
Isn't it great that we have two students of film here, by the way?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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You cupid, you.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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While that could be fun these guys are 4,000 miles or so apart 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I have a couple of those t-shirts 
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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...The diminishing length of my responses were more a product of my posting NEW movies on youtube than anything else. Haha!
I really did appreciate your comments; it's not often - especially in an "open" discussion at school - to get a straight answer out of anybody. I'm usually as equally blunt as you are.
In the meantime, check out the documentary I posted; it raises a lot of interesting discussion points about homophobia, racism, and descrimination in general.
-Matthew
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