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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Has anyone here ever been turned away from a social event because you were gay?
Has anyone ever been denied a position of employment?
Has anyone ever been terminated?
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Marc wrote:
> Has anyone here ever been turned away from a social event because you were gay?
>
> Has anyone ever been denied a position of employment?
>
> Has anyone ever been terminated?
The last one, I think. I used to work for the world's largest IT research and consultancy corporation, which has a full equal opportunities policy including same gender partner benefits. On th eoutside it looks excellent.
But I inherited a homophobic boss and I used to wear a large amount of silver jewelery. I was starting to relax and to be me.
While I have no proof, I am sure it is because of an aura about me that I am gay that she pounced on a minor mistake and turned it into a disciplinary matter. I escaped dismissal, but was made redundant 3 months later.
Paradoxically I used my being gay as a weapon in fighting the disciplinary hearing, in an oblique manner.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Well it is hardly relavent today as there has been so much change on this in a number of places, but I was severely terminated in 1965 by the US Navy. It totally altered what I had dreamed my life would become as I was now very much kept out of most electronics firms because almost all of them worked on Gov't projects which would require a security clearance. I did not want to out myself to anyone at the time and so I also couldnt lie on the employment documents so I did not try much to gain employment with those firms. In effect, I was not able to remain in electronics to any extent. I was always fearful that my past record would come up at some point so I worked in self-employed jobs as an electrician.
It is not a good thing that those things happened but even today you would be in a lot of trouble in the military for being openly gay. If I were willing to subject myself to being openly gay on my applications for employment now days I could possibly gain employment. But that is not possible at this late a date for me, but I could see how it would be different for me now as to how it was 40 years ago.
I see it as a good thing that some of the prejudices are being overturned in some ways and that gay people can have jobs without being discriminated by their employers. It is still there to a large extent though. In my mind I only wish to have tolerance and I dont want to have to have someone forced to employ me or give me housing when it is so highly against their wishes. I would not push for gay marriage, but only to have same sex unions afforded the rights they deserve as to property, health insurance, things like that. I dont think it is right for gays to force others to call their unions marriage and maybe if we were a bit less militant about that, we would find things a bit more comfortable with those who oppose things.
I try to see all the sides of an issue and it seems that opposition to calling a same sex union as marriage is justified. Marriage as defined as being between man and woman has been around for centuries. I dont see why it is so important to call unions marriage. I see a lot of intolerance directed at others by those who should be the last ones in the world to show any intolerance to others.
Well Mark, I went way beyond what you asked but it was a profound thing in my life which I cant just say in a couple of words. Some day I would like to visit you so I could give you a hug from my heart. I re-read your story as to what happened to you as a kid and it brought up all those feelings again. Every time I read it, I think of how lucky I was myself that those things never happened to me. I dont know if the others here know how much you went thru when you were a kid; I wish I could have known you and let you know someone could be on your side. *hugs*
Ken
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You reminded me of something.
My first job was working in the UK Civil Service. I knew that homnosexual people were personae non gratae in government posts, so that made it still impossible to come out as gay, for fear of being fired.
It's not as if I worked in a highly secure role, and national security was never an issue, but I was afraid, even so.
After three years I escaped, but I was set on my life's course as an outwardly heterosexual man who was hiding being gay even from himself. I was already engaged to be married. And life took control of me, rather than my taking comtrol of life
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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