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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Heterosexuals have it easy. No thought involved. When two get naked together they have no decisions to make about what goes where, or why.
When I was growing up I remember making a concious decision that I wanted to be penetrated rather than penetrating. I knew I could, and would penetrate, but I knew I wanted to be the one receiving it.
But why did I even make this decision? Until I made it the natural thing, having a penis, was to penetrate. Where did the decision come from? Why did I even know I needed to make it (if I needed to at all)? And how, since I had never been so much as touched properly by another boy, how did I know so clearly what I wanted?
I really don't expect anyone to answer my questions about me. But what about answering them about you?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I'm gay, and I have no desire to penetrate, nor to be penetrated. So those questions are irrelevant to me.
There is only the question of what I would do if I ever had a relationship. I suppose the answer must be: whatever comes naturally. I don't know what that is yet.
Deeej
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Posed a dcifferent way, the question is equally valid for you. Since oyu have no desire for either of the activities I've mentioned, an dI know this sounds silly, "How do you know that?" or, I suppose "What is it that makes you gay?", or both?
My own questions are not exclusive, you see. They were "mine". Yours differ.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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The answer is ever so simple......
Some people are tops......
Some people are bottoms......
You are a bottom......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Deeej wrote:
> I'm gay, and I have no desire to penetrate, nor to be penetrated. So those questions are irrelevant to me.
If you ever have hopes of a relationship you had better come to terms with the fact that gay boys like gay sex...... If not you then thats fine but don't expect the same from a potential partner....
>
> There is only the question of what I would do if I ever had a relationship. I suppose the answer must be: whatever comes naturally. I don't know what that is yet.
>
The answer to "whatever comes naturaly" is a result that does not involve as much thinking as you might expect.... It happens because it is right.
Most newbies to gay sex look at it as a nasty dirty thing to do in unlit backrooms.... It however is easy to see how someone can be shy of taking that first step.... Once the line has been crossed it can not be undone.... Also, every gay guy goes through the, "YOU WANT ME TO LICK WHAT!!!" moment.
I just want you all to know that is not the case.... Gay sex can be every bit as romantic and deep as any hetero sex.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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From what I have read it would appear that more men have anal sex with women then men do with men. So pardon the pun it may be a one way street but the ladies like it also. I can not think of any reason why two men could not have a lasting loving relationship sans anal sex. Just between us I think oral sex is pretty neat. Not to mention President Clinton said it don't count.
[edited file down in size - timmy]
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[Updated on: Wed, 05 April 2006 23:16] by Moderator |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Well, yes  But why am I?
And if I had been heterosexual, what then?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Probably that is because more men have sex with women than have sex with men.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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What if you were purple with red hair?
Well then you would be easy to pick out in a crowd.
you are the way you are because you are.....
or I can site all the platitudes.....
God made you that way.......
A nanny put a left shoe on your right foot when a crow was sitting on the red fence in sussex.
The stars were in allignment.....
I can go on and on and on.......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Oh.... if you were hetero......
Then we would not be having this conversation on a gay website....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Marc wrote:
>
> The answer to "whatever comes naturaly" is a result that does not involve as much thinking as you might expect.... It happens because it is right.
>
I'd absolutely agree with you on that one, Marc!
My own version of Timmy's original question is that I seem to have a history of not being versatile - in relationships I've usually been exclusively a "bottom" (anal sex), but in one relationship that lasted several months I was exclusively a "top", I've had a couple of short-term relationships where anal sex didn't feel right for either of us, and one - of twelve years, the most emotionally intense, loving, and physically affectionate and demonstrative relationship of my life (so far) - that was technically celibate.
When I think of former lovers, my mental image is of them in a particular physical/spatial relationship with me (eg in one case me having an arm round his shoulder, in another me lying with my head in his lap ... ). Clearly there's something in me that seeks to express some quality of the emotional relationship in the physical terms of lovemaking ... but I'm not sure quite what it is or where it comes from.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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NW wrote:
... but I'm not sure quite what it is or where it comes from.
What it is....... Simple yet again..... It is a loving heart expressing it's self in a loving way......
Where it comes from..... Well, you silly.....
Now from me personally.......
Your postings, when they relate to your emotional side tend to move me greatly..... I try to absorb what you say and your explainations of your feelings and make an effort to assimilate that knowledge into my life and situation..... You (and incidently others as well) have helped me past some rough times and caused me to begin to look at some things in my life a bit differently.....
Thank you.......
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Sorry Deeej, no disrespect, please dont hit me. ;-D I thought it was rough on me being a virgin.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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>Sorry Deeej, no disrespect, please dont hit me. I thought it was rough on me being a virgin.
I've no idea what you're talking about, Brian, so don't worry: I certainly won't hit you!
Deeej
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... yippee, another oxymoron (even if Brian doesn't care!)
It's a contradiction in terms, since (leaving sex toys aside) you cannot be penetrated by a woman - so if you want to be penetrated, you must be imagining penetration by another male. And that makes you just a teensy weensy bit G-A-Y. (I'm spelling it out to avoid causing offence!)
Incidentally, I'm with NW and Navyone on the importance or otherwise of anal sex in a relationship. Though my active years of gay sex were in my teens and twenties, I still have gay friends who confirm my experience that an appreciable number of relationships work perfectly well without anal sex. On my own part, I was willing to either top or bottom, but it was never an essential element in my lovemaking. Curiously, though, I was addicted to rimming. Strange world, isn't it?
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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It may come down to the desire to be the pursuer or perused. I found in my youth that it felt really good to be desired and in a way take the more feminine roll of the receiver of affection.
A question I have is do we have any clear example of what is naturally gay expression of gay love? What would we be like if gays could have developed in a world where same sex love was accepted as a norm? I’m no longer sure about this but I was thinking that Margaret Mead wrote about same sex relationships in cultures where it was accepted. Maybe it was in Coming of age In Samoa or Sex and Temperament….???
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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anothervoice wrote:
> It may come down to the desire to be the pursuer or perused. I found in my youth that it felt really good to be desired and in a way take the more feminine roll of the receiver of affection.
>
I considered that at length when I first got up the nerve to tell a friend that I was a naturla bottom, because it felt at odds with who I "am"
First, I did my best to pursue. I never was pursued. I never wanted to be pursued and I either ignored pursuers or recoiled in horror at the very idea.
Second I have never seen being a bottom in any manner as a feminine role. I am not in the least bit feminine in any recognisable sense. I see my "natural or chosen" sexual role as being as masculine as being a top, and the act as a highly masculine act of male love.
I think it is somehow more complex than that.
I am also interested in heterosexual males and whether they, too, have a desire to be a bottom, despite having a solely penetrative role in their relatonships. Women with enhancements come to mind here. I know many men love being penetrated by their female partners with dildos etc, sometimes strapped on.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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cossie wrote:
> It's a contradiction in terms, since (leaving sex toys aside) you cannot be penetrated by a woman - so if you want to be penetrated, you must be imagining penetration by another male. And that makes you just a teensy weensy bit G-A-Y. (I'm spelling it out to avoid causing offence!)
I think we cannot leave sex toys aside. But how do we find out the population of males who desire penetration yet who are absolutely not gay?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The best sex you ever get, in terms of physical sensations, is with yourself. Never worry about virginity. When the time is right you will never even notice "losing" it, if it all goes right.
Concentrating in "losing virginity" will spoil that first sexual experience with another warm person.
But, I was a bottom while a virgin. That was the real question. How do we know so clearly what we want to do? I include Deej's knowing that he does not yet want to do it in that knowledge.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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>The best sex you ever get, in terms of physical sensations, is with yourself.
Oh, Timmy, noooo!
Deeej
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Feminine was probably a bad choice of words on my part and what’s great about there being a place like this to sort of explore things a bit.
I don’t think any one would call me feminine either LOL. For me though, enjoying being both bottom and top about equally, I found that it was the roll of being perused and desired that made being the bottom more alluring than it would have been otherwise. So it would seem for me it was social and cultural observation that played a part in my path to who I am. I must say here too that in a way it empowered me, as I would be the one doing the accepting or rejecting.
My question to you is do you feel it was some how a totally innate propensity? I mean I first bottomed when I was like 11 and I really liked it but it wasn’t like I had consciously decided that was what I wanted to do for the most part before hand. I did know about anal penetration but until the moment of opportunity I didn’t give it much thought.
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Greetings-
Cossie, what about penetration with a tongue? Female, male, is there a difference anywhere but between your ears?
Sorry, I've been away for a while to the land of 2am wake up to take your sleeping meds!
Regards
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I have no real idea. I just know that I wanted the boy I wanted to be inside me. It never happened, I do not think I ever fantasised about penetrating him. Time dims memory, of ocurse.
I also think back to the other boys I lusted after. In about 3 cases my thoughts involved my penetrating, but the rest either did not involve any anal sex, or were of my being penetrated. It also never happened.
I conclude that thsi is more by nature than anything else primarily because I had no actual experience.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Lordy. That means breakfast at 5, lunch at 10, and supper at 3.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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When it comes to tongues there's no practical difference - though I think there might be an emotional difference!
I just didn't think that was what Timmy had in mind.
As regards penetration with a sex toy, in the circles in which I move and disrupt I haven't heard of a demand for the service amongst heterosexual males, even when alcohol has banished caution from the conversation!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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By sheer coincidence I was involved a discussion on heterosexuals, penetration, and the prostate gland yesterday evening (at the gay smoking cessation group I'm attending: several of us were asking about another course run by the same organisation called the "Arse Class"). One of the guys there - of French orgin - volunteered the information that one of the main reasons a lot of French (women) prostitutes favour high-heeled shoes is that when they have their legs wrapped round a customer they can penetrate him with one of the heel spikes ... apparently this is a fairly usual request.
The range and ingenuity of human sexual desire and experimentation never ceases to amaze me!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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I shudder at the thought of the damage a steel-tipped heel might do in an inaccessible place!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Cossie-
The things we think and the things we say, even with a surplus of single malt,
are a world apart!
Think about it, when was the last time that any one (male) you know owned up to enjoying the touch of silk or satin?
The 'tween the ears' line was my admission that there is a likely emotional difference.
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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cossie wrote:
> As regards penetration with a sex toy, in the circles in which I move and disrupt I haven't heard of a demand for the service amongst heterosexual males, even when alcohol has banished caution from the conversation!
Most heterosexual males view anal play as a thing to be kept secret from other males. It implies their latent homosexuality, for example. However there are many people who are devotees of anal pleasures, often because of old and successful childhood constipation curing enemas - given for many and varied alleged and real health giving properties.
Find anyone to speak about this even when drunk or stoned and I will be amazed.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I suspect you were having your chain pulled. The geometry is quite severe to achieve that, surely?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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timmy it took me a littel while to realise what you are about dont take this the wrong way but you like to be the celeb on this site, you say you are hetrosexual but like the smutty side of the gay side,as well this excites you.
you are probaly thinking why are you on this site,oh perhaps i am a littel bit like you. i look forward to your comments before you ban me?. or let your dogs loose.
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Excuse me!!! Gay men making love is smutty??? Its no smuttier than str8ts making love. In fact its probably less smutty. IM almost prety sure Timmy has said over and over that he is gay, and just happens to love his wife.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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Jedediah
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Likes it here |
Location: Made in NZ
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 170
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The celeb on this site?
They're ALL celebs on this site. And heroes too.
E Te Atua tukuna mai ki au te Mauri tauki te tango i nga mea
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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First,
Would it be at all inconvienent to utilize even the most rudamentary rules of grammar and punctuation?
Second,
Dogs loose? I beg your pardon!
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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If you think your post is likely to get you banned, or at least flamed, why do you post it?
I know I have occasionally posted potentially offensive things on here, but in each case I have only appreciated the extent afterwards. If I thought a post would upset someone, I wouldn't post it.
Unless I wanted to upset someone -- then I might. Hmm...
Sounds like trolling behaviour to me. Especially since you attribute things to Timmy that he has never (as far as I remember) said on this board (that he is heterosexual).
Smut's a subjective, and potentially offensive, word, too. I'm sure you're aware of that.
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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likely to actually act like a guest? This isn't my forum, and I respect the people who are here when they agree with me, and also when they do not.
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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and spelling!
black, pot, kettle.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You know, all I think is that your behaviour is weird, confrontational and rather banal.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Well, not everyone who comes here is pleasant. Jack is simply one of the less pleasant people, or so his behaviour shows. We've had one like him before. They come and they go.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I suppose anyone who has to use NTL for his internet connection would start to exhibit troll-like behaviour, though.
Jack's posts seem always to be steeped in his own particular brand of unpleasantness
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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