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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Whose on First 2006?
Abbot: Computer Support Group. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks! I'm setting up a home office in my den and I'm
thinking about buying a computer.
Abbot: Mac?
Costello: No, the name is Bud.
Abbot: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer I want to buy one.
Abbot: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name is Bud.
Abbot: Okay, we'll forget about Mac. What about Windows?
Costello: I told you, my name is Bud. Why do I need windows? Does it
get stuffy?
Abbot: Do you want a computer with Windows?
Costello: I didn't know computers had Windows.
Abbot: Yes.
Costello: Yes what?
Abbot: Yes, most come with Windows.
Costello: Which don't come with Windows?
Abbot: Mac.
Costello: I TOLD YOU my name is Bud!
Abbot: So you want Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What do I see with Windows?
Abbot: Wallpaper.
Costello: Never mind the Windows, I need a computer and software.
Abbot: Exactly, software that runs on Windows!
Costello: No! I need software that runs on the computer. I need
something that I can use to write proposals and track expenses. You
know, run a business. What have you got?
Abbot: Office.
Costello: Yeah, for my office like I said. Can you recommend anything?
Abbot: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Abbot: Recommended something.
Costello: You recommended something?
Abbot: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Abbot: Yes.
Costello: Okay, what did you recommend for my office?
Abbot: Office!
Costello: Yes, for my office.
Abbot: Office for Windows.
Costello: I ALREADY HAVE AN OFFICE AND IT HAS WINDOWS!
Abbot: Okay.
Costello: Let's say I'm sitting at my computer, and I want to type a
proposal. What do I need?
Abbot: Word.
Costello: If I'm writing a proposal I'm going to use lots of words.
But what program do I load?
Abbot: Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbot: The Word in Office.
Costello: THE ONLY WORD IN OFFICE IS OFFICE!
Abbot: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: HERE COME THOSE WINDOWS AGAIN! Which word in office for windows?"
Abbot: The Word you get when you click the blue W.
Costello: I'M GONNA CLICK YOUR BLUE W IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME A STRAIGHT
ANSWER! Now, let's forget about words for a minute. What do I need
if I want to watch a movie over the Internet?
Abbot: Real Player
Costello: Yes, it needs to be a real one. What do I need?
Abbot: Real Player.
Costello: Yes, of course it needs to play reels if I wanna watch a
movie. Now, what do I need?
Abbot: Real Player.
Costello: I KNOW IT NEEDS TO PLAY REELS! WHAT DO I USE?
Abbot: I already told you.
Costello: THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! HOW CAN I WATCH A MOVIE IF I
DON'T KNOW WHAT TO USE?
Abbot: I told you.
Costello: Told me what?
Abbot: You use Real Player.
Costello: Okay, Okay! So, I'm sitting at my computer and I want to
watch a movie. What do I do?
Abbot: You click the Real icon.
Costello: The real icon? The other icons aren't real?
Abbot: No! Only one icon is Real.
Costello: So the real icon is the only one that's real?
Abbot: Yes! That's right! The Real icon is the blue Real box and the
blue W is Word.
Costello: What word?
Abbot: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: THERE'S THREE WORDS IN OFFICE FOR WINDOWS!
Abbot: No, just one.
Costello: And that word is the Real icon?
Abbot: No. The Real icon has nothing to do with Word. It isn't even
part of Office.
Costello: NEVER MIND I WON'T WATCH ANY MOVIES! Look, I'm also going
to need something for bank accounts, loans, and so on. What do you
have to help me track my money?
Abbot: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Abbot: No, not really. But, it comes bundled with the computer.
Costello: What comes bundled with the computer?
Abbot: Money.
Costello: Money comes bundled with my computer?
Abbot: Exactly. No extra charge.
Costello: I get money with my computer at not extra charge? How much
money do I get?
Abbot: Just one copy.
Costello: Copy money? Isn't that illegal?
Abbot: No, we have a license from Microsoft to make copies of Money.
Costello: WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! You're telling me that I
get money with my computer and I can copy it?
Abbot: Only one time. By the way, you also get virus protection.
Costello: VIRUS PROTECTION! I CAN CATCH A VIRUS?
Abbot: Yes! It comes for a year at no charge with Windows.
"Costello: HERE COME THOSE WINDOWS AGAIN! Look! Let me see if I've
got this right. If I want a computer I have to have Windows even
though I already have some in my office. Then I have to have Office
even though I got one and I have to click on a blue W for words and
only the Real icon to watch a movie. I'M SO CONFUSED I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Abbot: Oh, if your gonna do talking you'll need a modem.
Costello: ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Actualy, as one who has seen the origional skit performed I have to say that some things are just better left unsaid....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I'm sure it should be. But we're stuck with it now.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Greetings Deej-
Go rent the DVDs! (this weekend wouldn't be too soon) Abbot & Costello are part of American cultural literacy. Anything before about 1952 is five star. Transcripts and descriptions can't do there timing and interplay justice.
How about Mae West, seen any of her stuff?
"Is that a pickle in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?" was her great line from her 1933 movie 'She Done Him Wrong'
Regards-
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I think I have a Mae West somewhere in my basement.......;-D
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Simon:
>Go rent the DVDs! (this weekend wouldn't be too soon) Abbot & Costello are part of American cultural literacy. Anything before about 1952 is five star. Transcripts and descriptions can't do there timing and interplay justice.
Okay, I'll look out for them. But I have no idea where I'd rent them from; our local Blockbuster is absolutely frightful -- very little (practically nothing) released more than two or three years ago.
>How about Mae West, seen any of her stuff?
Nope, not her either, I'm afraid.
Deeej
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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What about at the public Library?
I get just about every movie I could want and all for free as well.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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That's a good idea.
Unfortunately there's no really useful public library round here, except the one in Woking -- which has no parking, not many videos, and charges to borrow them, anyway, I think.
The university library has plenty of DVDs and videos, but they are generally ones that are relevent to a particular course. If one of the departments ran a course on American comedy Mae West and Abbot & Costello might make it in, but generally the library won't order things just because people want them (so far as I know). It covers international cinema quite well, and most of the critically acclaimed Hollywood films, but that's because they are of academic interest as well as entertainment value.
Most people take films out for entertainment value, however, regardless. Which is a bit annoying when we film students need them because we need to write an essay on them, but they are not available.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I will look for a copy of some of their work.....
I see ALOT of used videos here and about.....
I know your video tape is in some bizzare format and you would have to get them converted.... but seeing as you are a film major you might have access to such equipment.
As for DVD's I don't know if you use another format or not...
Let me know.
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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"Go down and see me sometime?"
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Marc,
That's extremely kind of you. If you find anything that I might be interested in, please let me know and I'll pay you back.
DVDs are very easy to play -- my computer will play anything, whatever the region or format.
American (NTSC) VHS tapes are physically the same as British (PAL) ones, so all you need to play them is an NTSC-compatible video player. They're quite common, especially on university campuses, where learning materials may come from anywhere in the world. So there wouldn't be any problem there either.
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Ok, I'll see what I can find......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Marc
That must be a really large jar to have her pickled in oil. I actually have a couple of 'Mae Wests' under the seat in the boat.
Regards
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Hey Boss
Not quite right, but she would like the spirit!
'when I'm good, I'm good. But when I'm bad - I'm really good!'
Same movie, not sure that the wording is exactly dead nuts.
Regards
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Greetings Deeej
I also have to say that environment is everything. For proper enjoyment, you will also have to supply beer (Worthington 'E' was my favorite when I lived there) and about 3 friends who are willing to giggle and laugh out loud. I doubt that a library or language lab type setting would contain the mirth
Regards
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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Jedediah
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Likes it here |
Location: Made in NZ
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 170
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ok, to paraphrase Brian - Straining to push the car back on the track - That was vry funny timmy - funny but also sad because it's true. There are those who know computors and there are those who don't and the communication between them is like - zilch.
Cheers
E Te Atua tukuna mai ki au te Mauri tauki te tango i nga mea
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Re: Whose on First 2006? 
