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Hi all,
Where everyone has everyone disappeared off to in the last couple of days (Brian, Cossie, JFR, Simon)? Perhaps its just that inactivity breeds inactivity?
In an attempt to kick-start a conversation...
Apart from the gut-wrenchingly embarrassing university gay society, where one does not seem to have anything at all in common with the people around one except for one's sexuality (and as I personally don't like talking about "gay things", whatever they might be, very much, there is no potential point of contact there)...
... what is the best way of finding other gay people with a view to friendship?
Or is joining that society the only realistic way for a person in my situation?
I have to say that I have only very occasionally (outside the aforementioned society) been aware of gay people around the university campus. Either there aren't very many gay people, or there aren't very many "out" gay people. And, unfortunately, my university has an awful lot of gurls [sic], and hence correspondingly fewer boys.
Anyway, it's the holidays at the moment, so I'm not actually at university. Is there anything I could do in the meantime that might be beneficial?
Deeej
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Well, I've been ill actually. Another round of cellulitis, topped off with an added portion of shingles according to the doctor. Great birthday present. NOT. :-/
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I am so flattered, Deeej, you actually missed me.;-D We have been having some rough storms here the last few days. Last night we had tornados touch down and do a lot of damage. They are trying to get things back up and runing so the power keeps going offf. One of them touched down about a mile from here, demolished a Jr, College.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... are you sure you aren't sickening for something?
As I've said elsewhere, my introduction to gay society was a fortuitous result of an unfortunate liaison, so things were relatively easy for me. However, it's something I've discussed with lots of people over the years, so I think I have at least some basis for forming conclusions.
One thing seems abundantly clear; what works for an extrovert is unlikely to work for an introvert, and in relative terms it's the extrovert who has the easy ride! My impression from your posts - and I have no other basis for forming an impression! - is that you are closer to the introvert end of the scale. Introversion can of course stem from a variety of causes, but perhaps the most common are lack of confidence or shyness. Perversely, either of these causes tend to be worse if you are intelligent and academically able, because the likelihood is that your interests have been strongly focussed and that you are unlikely to be at ease making small talk.
I don't think you are really lacking in confidence, despite the recent thread about your position on the scale of attractiveness. I do however suspect that you are basically shy in situations where your qualities are unknown and cannot be easily projected.
If this isn't striking a chord with you, don't bother reading further!
On the assumption that I am not wildly wrong in my reading of the situation, I think you must accept that, on the whole, forming relationships with others in the gay community will never be simple; there's no easy fix! I do think that you can make things a great deal simpler, by making an specific effort to mix on a socially casual basis. It isn't at all stupid to start a conversation with an inanity such as a comment about the temperature (inside) or the weather (outside); if you can come up with maybe two or three relevant but superficial comments based upon the circumstances in which you meet, you can soon decide whether your companion (male or female) is willing to move the conversation in an intelligent direction. If you find yourself pushed towards sport, fashion or soap operas, just abort and try again elsewhere! As in any field, practice will breed confidence.
In short, I'd set yourself a challenge to practice and improve your initial interpersonal skills, to suppress any mention of the forthcoming pedants' fair until at least the third meeting, and to concentrate not so much on being David the unsure gay guy, but rather being David, the guy it's interesting to talk to.
Meanwhile, don't despise any possible avenue. Gay Societies don't necessarily attract the people with whom you'd feel most at ease, but you can use the Society to learn - even if you prefer to listen rather than to contribute.
Some day your prince will come, and he'll be a lucky guy!
[PS - If this rambling post is of any use to you, let me know and I'll send you a bill for the consultation!]
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Greetings DeejDeej-
Been having a rather bad go of it here. Found myself being rude to people without cauCossieCossieo...
My suggestion is hit the art galleries and live theater and currently out of style music venues (not the Stones in China). That is where the best people of any sexuality are to be found. Don't go looking for gay, just good. Re-read what I said about friends, 2 out of 3 isn't bad, and 3 out of 3 is a wonder to behold!
I've read your CV, and it does not give much indication of your non-academic interests. I would think that the film world would be cluttered... have you had no luck? What else do you like? Choir I'm guessing ranks high, what else? (Computers don't count for squat)
When all else fails, step up to the gallows and pick a likely soul and invite them to join you at a pub or restaurant.
Good Luck!
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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What I typed was:
...rude to people without cause (Cossie and Brian), so I decided to shut up until it passed. Seeing as you mentioned my name,...
Wonder why the electrons are giving me a hard time - like everything else~
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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Jedediah
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Likes it here |
Location: Made in NZ
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 170
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Welcome back Simon. I've been a bit concerned about your uncharacteristic silence.
And, Deeej - listen to cossie - there's a man who knows what he's talking about. You've got a lot to offer, just do it.
Cheers
E Te Atua tukuna mai ki au te Mauri tauki te tango i nga mea
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Not sure which is worse - bad spelling or garbled text. Seems like a loose/loose situation.
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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Hi Deej,
What Cossie's said sounds good to me. And what Simon said re the arts & croissant crowd sounds good too.
I've had some luck with online services. There are a number of forums for young gays such as: http://gaystudentcenter.student.com/ I'd think making friendships online would be easiest & then to meet the one(s) you'd met thereby would be easier because of the shared repertoire to date.
Glad life has slowed a bit for you now. You're an interesting individual from meeting you online, so I'd say sign up for all the online forums, etc you can. put pertinent info in your bio/profile and just reel them in as the come calling!! Friendships precede closer relationships so just go do all you can to begin the process.
One things for certain though, you'll have to get out of your comfort zone to learn & achieve new objectives. remaining in a comfortable position will only bring the same thing you have already.. This is true for us all.
I recommend a few book like "the magic of thinking big" and "how to win friends & influence people". These books were somewhat pivotal to my development, and there are other similar self development books. They are not selfish oriented despite the title, actually quite good.
Just begin to apply what you've heard here & at least you'll not be bored as you go do new, exciting things..whatever they bring in is always in question, just like fishing. but in part it is the trolling & fishing that's fun & interesting & is required to win the prize. That's in part why I'm here. just fishing.. you're fishing here with the rest of us.. come back after the day's over & tell us how it went on your part of the pond, what you caught or hoped to catch. Some days you may not even get a bite!
Happy fishing my younger brother! TeddyBear 
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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between the electron world and the world of solid matter.
I've said about myself that I would attempt to be someone different here in hope that it could be exported to the real world. I've enjoyed my trip down the rabbit hole, but I have grave doubts if any of it will translate.
My impression was that David was looking for real flesh and blood (far be it for me to capitalize the 'FLESH') and I doubt that another electronic forum will provide the stimulus he'd like.
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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When are North Americans going to learn from these powerful storms and start burying their powerlines? It would be worth the investment and improve the land/cityscape.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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[PS - If this rambling post is of any use to you, let me know and I'll send you a bill for the consultation!]
Dear Deeej!
This man IS a Scot, no doubt! Always keep an eye on you wallet! 
By the way, Deeej, Cossie is not all bad: When (not if) you find your prince, he will be a very lucky guy!
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Once upon a time there was a poor but very pious man. This man had one dream in life - that one day he would win the big prize in the State Lottery, because this would solve all his problems. Although he led as blameless a life as he could he never won even the smallest prize. One day, in desperation, he prayed to God: "Dear God, would it be so terribly difficult for You to arrange that just once I win the State Lottery? I try so hard to be good but I never seem to even have a chance." Then, miracle of miracles, God actually responded to his prayer! "I would very much like to help you win the State Lottery, my son, but I cannot." "Why, Lord? Why can't you help me? What am I doing that is so wrong?" "My son," said God, "in order for me to help you win the State Lottery you must first go and buy a ticket!"
Hugs, Deeej.
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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... though, of course, in that story asking God was a good first step.
I take your point, though, JFR. Thank you.
David
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Thank you, Cossie.
>My impression from your posts - and I have no other basis for forming an impression! - is that you are closer to the introvert end of the scale. Introversion can of course stem from a variety of causes, but perhaps the most common are lack of confidence or shyness.
Both lack of confidence and shyness, I think. Also that my efforts in the past have been frustrated so many times that it hardly seems worth it to continue trying. (Yup, I know it's wrong to think that. But I'm a natural pessimist.)
>Perversely, either of these causes tend to be worse if you are intelligent and academically able, because the likelihood is that your interests have been strongly focussed and that you are unlikely to be at ease making small talk.
I hadn't thought about it that way, quite. I wouldn't say all my interests are strongly focussed -- there are quite a few things I am interested in that would probably come under the banner of "popular culture": music, theatre, watching films, reading (okay, maybe that's not "popular"), decent meals, finding out about people (admittedly, people who have something in common already), popular science & technology. Though I do, on the whole, prefer to produce rather than simply consume, and I sometimes don't get on all that well with people who consume without producing, or, at least, thinking critically about those things that they are interested in.
>On the assumption that I am not wildly wrong in my reading of the situation, I think you must accept that, on the whole, forming relationships with others in the gay community will never be simple; there's no easy fix!
I have found it very easy (in comparison) round here: I can think, well in advance, what I would like to say, say it, and be done; I don't feel any requirement for small talk. Which is marvellous, because I haven't even mastered the subject of the weather yet. (And that's quite a thing for a Brit to own up to.) Is there nowhere in real life that it's as easy as it is on this board?
>I do think that you can make things a great deal simpler, by making an specific effort to mix on a socially casual basis. It isn't at all stupid to start a conversation with an inanity such as a comment about the temperature (inside) or the weather (outside); if you can come up with maybe two or three relevant but superficial comments based upon the circumstances in which you meet, you can soon decide whether your companion (male or female) is willing to move the conversation in an intelligent direction. If you find yourself pushed towards sport, fashion or soap operas, just abort and try again elsewhere! As in any field, practice will breed confidence.
The hard thing is getting involved in a social situation where there is no-one one knows. Both university and the real world are big places, and the chances of finding someone one knows in a bar or pub is not very high. Yup, the answer to that is to go out with people one does know; but, for me, asking someone if they'd like to do that would be almost as hard.
>[PS - If this rambling post is of any use to you, let me know and I'll send you a bill for the consultation!]
Send me a Bill? If he's young, good-looking and has some things in common with me, I'd be delighted!
David
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>Not sure which is worse - bad spelling or garbled text. Seems like a loose/loose situation.
Oh, bad spelling, definitely! Are you aware you've just illustrated one of the major problems with spelling checkers -- using the wrong word, correctly spelt? It should be "lose/lose". 
Glad to hear you're back. Thank you for your advice. The problem is, there is no cultural community anywhere near here: if you've ever heard of Woking, you'll understand what I mean. The closest "proper" cultural centre is London, and I hesitate to travel all the way up there without having someone to meet or something to do.
Deeej
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you posted> I'm sure if you met me in real life my natural ignorance would shine through.
Hahahahaha! lol!
My dear Deej,
You are just too modest!! lol! Great sense of humor too! that's a key, to laugh at yourself. gotta build the confidence to balance..well rounded is goal.. Like exercising, aint easy but feels better after. No pain, no gain!
If u don't wanna drive to london w/o a goal, either 1)meet some one online then go meet 'em or 2)plan a cultural activity you'd like to go do anyway, then look & greet & try to meet someone while you're there!!
Friends make the world go round!
Love ya bro'! sorry bout the sloppy (can i even call it?) English!
Teddy
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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The problem with the dating and mating game is that the only way to play it i sby being where other eligible people are.
This means the "Awful Gay Soc" in the hope that at leatsone perosn there is not just out for sex
Or it means finding a pleasant gay café, but you don't know if it's pleasanr until you've been there
Or it means someting like a gay organisation
Or it means a dating site.
Or it means something like http://www.outintheuk.com/
And it means being as brave as I know you are, because I know how much it cost you one evening to attend the gay Soc, or to try to.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Deeej wrote:
> >Not sure which is worse - bad spelling or garbled text. Seems like a loose/loose situation.
>
> Oh, bad spelling, definitely! Are you aware you've just illustrated one of the major problems with spelling checkers -- using the wrong word, correctly spelt? It should be "lose/lose".
>
> Glad to hear you're back. Thank you for your advice. The problem is, there is no cultural community anywhere near here: if you've ever heard of Woking, you'll understand what I mean. The closest "proper" cultural centre is London, and I hesitate to travel all the way up there without having someone to meet or something to do.
>
> Deeej
Deeej wrote:
Greetings Deeej-
I am the walking illustration of ALL problems with spelling, checkers, re-checkers and exchequers!! But I have never let that get in the way of my humble attempts to communicate:
Words
I've given up on words.
They are, at best, poorly silvered reflections,
old fun-house mirrors
that distort the truth and hide the pain.
Like mascaraed eyes, or painted lips.
I've given up on words,
Or maybe just communication.
The thoughts complete.
The translation suffers,
the meanings lost,
and in the search
the Good fight is forgotten.
I've given up on words.
When all else failed,
words should have saved me,
reduced the scope of imponderable questions
to mere academic debate.
Quelled the riot of my soul,
if only for a moment.
I've given up on words.
I've given up on life, and love
I've given up on hope - and all redemption.
(and other substitutes for courage - learned at mother's knee)
I've given up on love
I've given up on words.
There is no freedom,
not even in rejection
Release from what?
Becomes the only question
I've given up on words
but in the end - nothing's left
but
Words.
Regards
Simon
> >Not sure which is worse - bad spelling or garbled text. Seems like a loose/loose situation.
>
> Oh, bad spelling, definitely! Are you aware you've just illustrated one of the major problems with spelling checkers -- using the wrong word, correctly spelt? It should be "lose/lose".
>
> Glad to hear you're back. Thank you for your advice. The problem is, there is no cultural community anywhere near here: if you've ever heard of Woking, you'll understand what I mean. The closest "proper" cultural centre is London, and I hesitate to travel all the way up there without having someone to meet or something to do.
>
> Deeej
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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This is really getting me angry!
The poem was in an open window, and not intended for this forum. I ran the spell checker, it said no errors, I hit 'submit' and low and behold!
I'm gonna go back to using wordperfect.
Please disregard, delete and forget - I am really embarrassed.
Regards
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Greetings-
This time for sure, Rocky!
Don't set your sites so high. Look to the local community theater/music/art venues within your U and surrounding towns. Volunteer your film talents to assist some local group that has a 'cause'. Stumble around until you stumble into someone. Take chances, lots of them, otherwise when you get to life's locker room you won't have anything to talk about.
Regards-
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... by the quality of the advice being offered. It shows the real value of a community like this.
There are really only two small points - both related - that I'd like to add.
The core of your problem seems to be your difficulty in starting casual conversations, and that's a difficulty you share with a fair percentage of the population! I suspect that if this could be overcome, pretty much everything else would follow naturally.
I doubt, therefore, whether on-line activity would be of much help; it could possibly lead to interesting contacts, but it would do nothing to address the underlying problem.
I suggested in my earlier post that, difficult as it might at first seem, the obvious plan would be to practice at every opportunity and to force yourself to create those opportunities. It's perhaps worth stressing that you can practice on members of either sex - you are only making conversation, not inviting someone to bed!
With regard to your expression of interest in Bill, I'm afraid he is no longer in stock. All I can offer at present is a choice of a Hamish, an Angus or a choice of three Glaswegian Jimmys. All have been well maintained and regularly serviced. Please let me have your further instructions - we aim to please!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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get well soon, mate
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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And I am not trying to be mean or anything... but.......
If you just stopped thinking about this and go out and do it you would get past this.
Sitting back at the computer in a soft spinny chair will do nothing to better your social associations in real life.
There is an old chinese proverb and my best translation is... "The honey is sweeter if you enter the nest yourself"
If you can not go out abd be the alpha hunter then try going out and being the hunted. Go to a gay bar or coffee shop and sit quietly in a conspicous place, bring a good book, and wait for the world to come by.
Another chinese proverb... "Only the fisherman with his line in the water has a chance of eating well tonight"
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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>If you just stopped thinking about this and go out and do it you would get past this.
>If you can not go out abd be the alpha hunter then try going out and being the hunted. Go to a gay bar or coffee shop and sit quietly in a conspicous place, bring a good book, and wait for the world to come by.
Humph.
Marc, I don't live in a city or even a town. I been doing my best to find out where I would find a gay bar or a coffee shop. So far the closest I have been able to locate is in Guildford, which is a town about 17 miles away. Going such a distance on the off-chance of meeting people -- and I guess I'd have to be prepared to do it on a fairly regular basis -- is not really feasible.
It's pretty much the same at my university (which is, incidentally, very close to my home, so it doesn't count as a different area). It's not in a big university town. In fact, it's in one of the most boring towns in the country. The LGB society generally goes up to London, as far as I can see, as there's very little of interest in this part of the country. (Most people round here are middle-aged, married Conservatives.)
>Sitting back at the computer in a soft spinny chair will do nothing to better your social associations in real life.
No, but there are people here who have social associations in real life.
There's no question that I have to get up and do something.
Thanks for your advice.
David
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Deeej, I'd like to throughly endorse timmy's suggestion of http://www.outintheuk.com/
This is a UK group which is NOT about sex, although it has lead to partnerships, but mainly about social events and making new friends. There are a *lot* of events in the London area organised by members: ones I've been on have included tours of the BBC TV centre, visits to stately homes, a theatre trip, and walks. I wasn't able to attend any of the group visits to films in the London Gay & Lesbian Film Festival purely because I've been ill, (and think I'm going to have to rat out of the trip down the Thames in a small boat to visit one of the WWII offshore forts due for saturday coming as I'm still not well enough for it). And that's just the things that I happened to be interested in! Age range is late teens to sixties plus: most of the events I've been to seem to have a lot of guys in their 20's.
The really great thing is that attending an OUT event means that there's always some starting point for a conversation - the subject of the event itself. It can be very scary attending one's first event, but I've found nearly everyone to be pretty friendly (even to an older guy who is visibly disabled - so I'm sure you'd be fine).
I think the site offers a free trial membership, and is usable with hordes of "nag" screens for non-members, so it's definitely worth checking out. And if there's an event that you want to go to but just feel too nervous about, feel free to drop me an e-mail and if it doesn't sound too horrid I would be happy to come along to offer moral support.
best wishes
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Thank you, NW.
I do (or did) in fact have an account there -- though I haven't used it for a year or two. I didn't go to any of the events, but I spoke (online) to a few people who seemed to have vaguely similar interests. It was rather hit-and-miss; I've recently become aware just how unusual my mind is (not in a good way).
I will have a look at the site, and perhaps get a proper membership (if it isn't too expensive). I do remember that when it went from mostly free to annoying-nag-screens-every-other-page I pretty much gave up on it.
Thank you very much for your offer. I'll be in touch if anything strikes a chord with me.
Best wishes,
Deeej
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Deeej wrote:
> >If you just stopped thinking about this and go out and do it you would get past this.
>
> >If you can not go out abd be the alpha hunter then try going out and being the hunted. Go to a gay bar or coffee shop and sit quietly in a conspicous place, bring a good book, and wait for the world to come by.
>
> Humph.
>
> Marc, I don't live in a city or even a town. I been doing my best to find out where I would find a gay bar or a coffee shop. So far the closest I have been able to locate is in Guildford, which is a town about 17 miles away. Going such a distance on the off-chance of meeting people -- and I guess I'd have to be prepared to do it on a fairly regular basis -- is not really feasible.
When I was young and needed companionship I had to travel more than 50 miles...... You do what you have to do to get it done.... Anyone can sit back and think of a hundred reasons why not to do a task...... But that is quite self defeating in the end....
>
> It's pretty much the same at my university (which is, incidentally, very close to my home, so it doesn't count as a different area). It's not in a big university town. In fact, it's in one of the most boring towns in the country. The LGB society generally goes up to London, as far as I can see, as there's very little of interest in this part of the country. (Most people round here are middle-aged, married Conservatives.)
Then get on the bus and go along...... It all starts with a tiny step.. then a second.. A third....
>
> >Sitting back at the computer in a soft spinny chair will do nothing to better your social associations in real life.
>
> No, but there are people here who have social associations in real life.
Ok then,, I understand.... I realy know how hard it is to break free of that place we hide in... But you have to at least try... If we could, Kevy and I would collect you and show you the town... It would be a small step into a big world.... and it would be frightening... (so I'm scary.... get over it)...
>
> There's no question that I have to get up and do something.
I know you can do it....
>
> Thanks for your advice.
>
> David
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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We have groups similar to this here and Kevy and I often are on planning committees for local to-doos.... X-mas parties, pot luck dinners, pride events as well as excursions to fun places in the area to visit.....
Many many time we have newbies attend and they always leave feeling a whole lot better than they did when they arrived..... Some few even have sparked relationships.
I highly recomend this group NW described above........ If it is any thing like what we do it is a definate opportunity not to miss.
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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You can trust me on this one. I don’t know much if anything about meeting others for companionship, friendship, etc. Not having my first sexual experience until I was age 21 and then just through being in confined quarters (Navy not Jail) with men my age where relationships can naturally form. Today is vastly different then it was then. Today I think the best bet of connecting with someone is on Craig’s List or in a Local AOL Chat Room etc. You need a good profile and get to utilize all of your powers of sizing up people. If you are lucky you will weed out someone who you would like to communicate with and them with you. The following is my profile, if they wade through it and are interested they contact me.
* * * * This I Believe * * * *
Facts:
If every gay and bi guy on Long Island had a sign on
His front lawn, there would be more signs then seagulls.
That does not count str8 guys who enjoy being serviced by
Other guys. "I Am str8 and so is my boyfriend" Not even five
years ago there was no place to discreetly meet guys that
share the same feelings as you. But along came the computer
age and chat rooms.
~~~~ * * * ~~~~
This Is A Dangerous Place: As there should be a sign over
every church door that reads "Important If True" There should
be one on every chat room that says "Enter At Your Own Risk”
Not Responsible For Broken Hearts & Heads"
~~~~ * * * ~~~~
There should be a course to teach the street smarts of
chatting with strangers online. (until you meet someone face
to face you are strangers)
~~~~ * * * ~~~~
No Inhibitions: It's so easy to talk on the computer. To say
thing's to someone you so quickly have grown so close to, yet
only know by a screen name. Tell things that you wouldn't
whisper to your best friend.
~~~~ * * * ~~~~
Anyone who wants too can piece together more about you then you
would like them to know just by casual chatting. They will tell
you anything to get what they want. Keep your name, address,
school, and phone number to. yourself. (and never in your
profile) If you decide to talk to them on the phone, you get there
number and call them, dial *67 first and they can’t get a call back
number and your number wont show up on there caller ID.
~~~~ * * * ~~~~
The biggest problem with this new social meeting place is that
truth is not a requirement. We are all cute "My Mom thinks I Am
cute " We are all young or at least look much younger
(to ourselves) then our years, even though many of us are looking
for younger guys. All measurements are in AOL inches that means
knock off at least an inch or two for all dicks reported to be
over seven inches. Just for the record the average size dick for
a full grown male is approximately six inches and the world
record is only 13 1/2 inches. (see world’s sexual records.com)
My Favorite Quotes:
. * ` Str8 & Gay are just extremes of Bi.
. * ` Blow Jobs are not Sex. (thanks to President Clinton).
. * ` The only real Pussy Gay Bashers will ever see is when. they look in a
mirror.
. * ` If it was Raining Dick's I would get hit by a Cunt.
. * ` How come they never ask girls how deep they are.
. * ` Don't Ask Don't Tell.
. * ` It matters not whether 10% or 2% of the male. population is queer
because 90% are in the closet.
. * ` Don't Fuck with me Feller's it's not my first day at the Rodeo.
. * ` I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.
. * ` Being gay did not even make God's top 10 list.
. * ` My Guy, He may be,
` a little bit young or a little bit old,
` a little bit tall or a little bit short,
` a little bit fat or a little bit thin,
` a little bit black or a little bit white,
` a little bit fem or a little bit straight,
. but he loves me and I love him.
. * ` Spelling only counts in E-Mail addresses.
. * ` If they ever find a cure for AIDS they will be fucking in the streets.
. * There is enough good in the worst of us and enough bad in the best of us that it
Ill-behooves any of us to talk about the rest of us.
~~~~ * * * ~~~~
"The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals and 362 to
heterosexuals. This doesn't mean God doesn't love heterosexuals, it's
just that they need more supervision."
* ~ *
If being Gay is a disease, let's all call in queer to work:
"Hello Can't work today, still queer."
. * . Married With Children & Bi.
Two different worlds we live in, I can’t escape from either,
I love my wife and children and don't want to lose or abandon
them. I also have an inborn craving for male companionship.
So I live in the "Closet" and satisfy my desire on the rare
occasion’s when God matches’ two of us up for an hour or so.
It's not easy being Green.
* * *
If Your Here Your Queer: Webster’s definition of queer
is: "Differing is some odd way from what is usual or normal"
* * *
M4M come in all colors, sizes, shapes, and ages, married,
single, rich and poor.
* * *
Spend enough time in chat rooms and viewing naked males
participating in various sexual activities, and soon you will
start to believe that most of the world is queer and having a
great time. (It Aint So) There are hundreds of thousands of
erotic pictures in Yahoo Adult Groups and hundreds of stories
in Nifty Erotic Archives to mention only two (free one's) of
the thousands of web sites that cater to queers. You will also
discover a great many guys from your own town in the chat
rooms. (Amazingly so)
~~~~ * * * * ~~~~
. * ` Are You An AOL Bullshitter:
. * ` 1. All talk and no show.
. * ` 2. Send someone else’s picture as your own.
. * ` 3. Don't send a picture in return for one.
. * ` 4. Fudge on your stats. (Penis length is measured on the top, from your
body to the tip of your dick), Fore skin does not count. That’s
opposed to measuring from your ashole, with a rubber band or in AOL
inches.
. * ` 5. Doing anything to the other guy that you wouldn’t want done to you.
* * *
. * ` Shout Out's To:
. * ` Gerry Falwell, Anita Bryant and Dr. Laura - "May Your Son's Come Out
Tomorrow"
~~~~ * * * ~~~~
. * ` B A L D W I N, L. I., N.Y.
. * ` Hobbies & Interests: Guys (young men) 18 - 30 *
. * ` I am 6' 2" 235, Br/Br - Age over 50.
. I am kind, considerate and gentle. Reciprocation is up to you,
what makes you happy makes me happy. I enjoy giving head. No pressure or strings
attached. Your picture gets mine.
. * ` No Drama here Strictly Loving Tender Relationships.
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....just a little friendly note..
** you wrote> "been doing my best to find out where I would find a gay bar or a coffee shop. So far the closest I have been able to locate is in Guildford, which is a town about 17 miles away. Going such a distance on the off-chance of meeting people -- and I guess I'd have to be prepared to do it on a fairly regular basis -- is not really feasible."
I'm not sure why that wouldn't be feasible, that's fairly close in my way of thinking!
** And you say> "Going such a distance on the off-chance of meeting people.."
I'd say it's NOT an off chance. The establishment wouldn't be able to stay in business without regular supply of customers. Whom ever you may meet there including the owner & employees can each be a wealth of info & further contacts.. social networking I think you'd call it. So even mathematically your chances improve out of proportion with every little step you make toward the goal.
** > "and I guess I'd have to be prepared to do it on a fairly regular basis"
Yeah! That's my point, you're thinkin & GUESSING!! Our natural human minds will reason all around these truths to the point that you'll convince yourself there's no hope even before you've started the car to go there. Don't let your reasoning mind try to work out the details..because they never work out as we'd expect anyway.. but they always work out well enough on their own..
God, Deeej, just get up & go my friend! You're reasoning way too much from my perspective! I know you'll go in your time but you aren't getting any younger..etc.. There's no time like the present! ( Just trying to light a firecracker under you arse here!!! lol )
Hey, y'all, lets just stop posting so Deeej Has to go do something from sheer bordom!! Nah, I don't think it'll happen either.. hahaha !!;-D
We love you Deej, you're not going thru anything that we all haven't been thru Gay or Straight!! It actually turns out to be fun & enabling & confidence building to some extent, tho the butterflies in the stomach may always be close enough because of the excitement! And you need some excitement! You need to excite some neurons that aren't normally excited! It's a thrill as the new neural connections are being formed!! Your mind will rewire itself & there'll be no looking back, I assure you!
Go get 'em Boy! Your friend, TeddyB.
Life's a trip * Friends help you through * Adventure on life!
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... but this small island is very densely populated in comparison with the USA, and we have a very different mindset in relation to distances it is reasonable to travel for a particular purpose. You need to remember that petrol(=gas) is vastly more expensive here (around 90p per litre, if you want to do the conversion) and public transport leaves much to be desired. In a 17-mile journey there are likely to be at least a dozen intervening villages - sometimes many more - and by the time the bus has called at Little-Piddle-in-the-Bog et al, the journey time becomes measurable in hours rather than minutes.
Nevertheless, Deeej, if you have the transport and the wherewithal, it's worth considering!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Well yes, there are places that tend to be rather sparce as far as population go.... but then there are areas such as the eastern seaboard with a virtualy continuous urban structurs from boston to about Williamsburg Virginia... more or less... Gas is expensive here as well and intercity public transport is virtualy non existant...
Nonetheless, travel to the watering hole is a task to be taken if there is a chance of any interaction...
Travel is common everywhere to gain an advantage reguarding social interaction...
To view it as a problem rather than the solution is self defeating at best.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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>Gas is expensive here as well
UK:
92p / litre;
£3.48 per US gallon;
$6.06 per US gallon
US (using average price from http://www.gasbuddy.com/):
40p / litre;
£1.53 per US gallon;
$2.67 per US gallon
You call that expensive?
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pimple
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 375
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Greetings Deeej
Sitting at the airport waiting for a flight.
I have averaged 40,000 miles a year for business since 1972. Gas was 32 cents per gallon and a nice new car car could be had for 2800 bucks. Of course, I only made 10,000.00 a year and thought I was doing well.
Everything is relative my son!
Regards-
Simon
Joy Peace and Tranquility
Joyceility
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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US cost of living is lower than the UK and US salaries are higher. I guess the higher salaries even out with the enormous cost of US healthcare though
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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If you were on my budget you would.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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>If you were on my budget you would.....
If you were on the same budget in the UK, you'd either have to allocate more for your car, or to get rid of it altogether.
Over here it costs me £35-£38 to fill the tank of my small Citroen ($60-$65). In America, I could run a tank for that (almost).
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Ok, all well and good for the gas price pissing contest.....
It doesn't alter the fact that unless you get off your arse and go you will never get there...
If it is only 17 miles and the gas is too much for your budget then why not walk? It is but a good stretch of the legs....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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