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even though you're not on candid camera.
This one made me smile, so why shouldn't it bring a smile to your face as well:
A teacher wanted to catch out a pupil in front of the class. S/he told him to stand up and asked him a very difficult question in mathematics. The boy knew the answer. The teacher asked, "And where is Zimbabwe?" The boy knew that too. "In what year did Colombia declare independence?" Again the boy gave the right answer. "Tell me," continued the teacher, "How many people live in China?". The boy thought for a moment and said, "One milliard, 300 million, 600 thousand, 281." Then the teacher said, "Names! I want names!"
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY
A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus She noticed the man opposite
her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a
grin, so she moved again.
The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out
laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what
he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honour, it was like this:
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She
sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are Coming' and I
grinned."
"Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will
reduce the swelling', and I had to smile."
"Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big
Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself." "BUT, your Honor,
when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear
Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I just lost it."
"CASE DISMISSED!!"
Now keep that smile on your face and pass it on to someone else!!
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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This one is dedicated to all the Americans who visit this board - so that they will know that George Dubya is not the only political leader to be lampooned:
A motorist, on his way home from work in Westminster came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual."
After a short while, he noticed a police officer walking towards him between the lines of stopped cars. He rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what's the hold up?"
The constable replied "Tony Blair is depressed, so he stopped his motorcar and is threatening to douse himself with petrol and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories; about why we went to war in Iraq, or that there is no pensions crisis, or the worsening economy, or that constant adding of stealth taxes, or that his education reforms are going to do any good, or that the health service is safe in his hands, or that immigration is under control, or that he is not George Bush's poodle or that his Party's proposed tax cuts won't help anyone except his wealthy friends, or that his chairmanship of the European Community hasn't just led to more power being surrendered to the French.... So we're taking up a collection for him."
Thoughtfully, the man asks, "How much have you got so far?"
The officer replies, "About forty gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning........"
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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