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Why would a gay man, who prefers the company of men or boys, want to hang around with a drag queen? If looking and acting like a female is a turn on for you then your not really gay cause you actually being turned on by a female, the look, the actions, and the mannerisms. Being in drag is just a way for a straight guy to think hes having sex with a woman, so its ok. Gee, how lame
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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Excellent question.
It's rather a long time since I had anything much to do with drag, so things may be very different now. But - at least in the 1970s - many of those who hung around with drag queens, went to drag cabaret, etc seemed to me to be looking for some reassurance that they were really "normal". As in, "I might be fucked up 'cos I'm gay, but at least I'm not fucked up enough to wear a dress". Frankly, not an attitude I ever found inspiring (mainly because I've always felt that being gay was completely normal).
Drag queens themselves, however, are a different kettle of fish ... some of them seem to use drag to be able to release a social self-confidence and often bitchy charm that those of us who are socially inept would love to be able do! And, perhaps, nowadays more people hang round the drag scene because they are hoping to catch this talent or skill or whatever it is?
I don't think that sex actually comes into it very much ... some drag artistes are straight, after all.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Jedediah
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Likes it here |
Location: Made in NZ
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 170
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Exactly Brian
E Te Atua tukuna mai ki au te Mauri tauki te tango i nga mea
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I have a question then NW. Arnt drag Queens and Cross dressers diff.? thought drag queens are gay and cross dressers are staight men who like to dress in womens cloths.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I was asked precisely thsi question by my wife a week or two ago. Hmm. Are we married, you and I?
I tried to answer it. And I came to a simplistic answer. It is up for discussion, of course.
Drag Queens are glamorous. Some are caricatures, certainly, and others are "take your breath away gorgeous". It is unimportant what gender they are - what is important is the glamour, the peacockishness.
Str8 men like looking at glamourous women.
Gay men like looking at glamorous men.
Ok, both of those are generalisations, but let's work with them.
Society equates glamour with the costime of the "larger than life glamorous female form", which a Drag Queen adopts. There is no societal equaivalent for a glamorous man. A tux just does not cut it. Tux versus Drag Queen outfit? The tux looks like funeral clothing, even in white.
If there were a "Peacock Outfit" for a glamorous man, most of the gay men who go to drag shows would probabaly go to those featuring obvious men. [I know, for example, that the show "Naked Boys Singing" which I saw a few years ago in New York was wonderfully glamorous! And not a stitch of clothing anywehere!]
Despite the female impersonation side, Drag Queens are glamorous men. And gay men may look at men without even the slightest "shame" simply because the men are, somehow, made acceptable by appearing female.
I'd better stop before I start to ramble.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Oh lord, I'm no expert on this !
I think that I tend to use the phrase "drag queen" when the motivation seems to be about making an impact on others in an assumed character, whereas "cross dressing" to me implies something done primarily for personal satisfaction. So, a person can be a cross-dresser in the privacy of their own home (but couldn't be a drag queen without going out).
The two are not of course mutually exclusive.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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I am so confused!
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Well, if I summarise:
I like looking at glamoroues men. If the only way I can do this is if they dress as drag queens, so be it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Drag Queens....... Are nice pretty gay boys that like to get all dolled up and go out on the town..... Some do it for shock value..... Some do it for profit as entertainers..... Some do it to pick up guys.....
Why do they do it? Because if they didn't someone else would.....
No seriously..... Drag Queens get dressed up and all to bring out the inner person hidden inside them.....
It is just that simple......
Now, why do gay boys like to hang out with Drag Queens? Because the Drag Queens make them look better..... Some do it because they are friends with the guy that is the Drag Queen..... Some do it because it opens up doors otherwise closed to them when they on their oun.....
I have friends here that are Drag Queens..... I perswonally don't think of them as girly-boys or perverts or strange.... I think of them as .... Well.... people..... Just people.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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I'm not, in any sense, being dismissive or critical of either drag queens or cross-dressers; I don't suppose they chose the way they feel any more than I chose the way I feel.
I do think that cross-dressing is an entirely separate category; cross-dressers don't (at least in my experience) feel any particular strong urge to appear sexually attractive; the cross-dressing is an end in itself. There are lots of documented cases, involving both males and females. Some managed to maintain the pretence to the end of their lives. I'd say that the condition is associated with transexuality rather than gayness.
Drag queens are a different matter - the most obvious distinction being the fact that they need to make it clear that they are men dressed up as women. I suspect that there are two entirely separate categories. First, there are those who make a living from the masquerade; they may or may not be gay, but 'there's no business like show business' is the driving force. Secondly, there are those who find that they can express themselves with much more confidence in drag queen guise. Again, sexual orientation is not necessarily obvious. Lots of people are naturally introverted and need to adopt another persona before they can 'let themselves go'.
But when it comes to attraction to the gay male, I guess you pays your money and you takes your choice. Unlike Timmy, I don't find drag queens a turn-on. However, Mike Arrams's story 'Henry in Finkle Road' contains an entirely believable cameo in which Ed Peacher (a rampant heterosexual) is attracted to gay queen Tina because he believes him to be female.
We are all different. That's part of the richness of life!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Hey Brian I once had a sexual encounter with someone who would cross dress. This guy had been one of the boys I knew from my neighborhood. I had actually attempted to see if he was open to some sexual things and he seemed to reject it and I thought nothing of it.
He later called me and invited me to come to his house. When I got there he was dressed as a girl and in a fairly provocative manner. He had lipstick and all that and was clearly trying to look like a girl. Well I wasn't looking for a girl friend. We did discuss things a bit and I ended up going home after a while.
He came on to me again at a much later time and I did go to his apartment in the middle of the night. He had called me and convinced me to come over. I knew he had been married and also had a son now and the boy was about 7 years old living with his mother. We did have sexual relations so he must have been actually what we call bi. He was never willing to be a "top" in any way which I always thought was odd, but that also fit in with the idea of him cross dressing and being the "female" in the relationship. After about a year of seeing each other infrequently, he entered into another hetrosexual relationship and I think remarried.
I would never think of him as a drag queen for sure and I think there is a profound difference in how this guy thought of his dressing up as a woman and how many drag queens would feel about it. I dont know this for sure, but I do know how things were with this guy.
Ken
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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As a generalisation there is a major distinction between drag queens and cross dressing.
Most, but not all, cross dressers are heterosexual. Most, but not all, drag queens are gay. The former is a need or desire to dress in a feminine manner. The latter is a theatrical role that seems to be assumed by more gay men than str8 men.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Re: interesting question 
