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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Could be anything from certain words to certain politicians
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Personally I try not to hate, it takes up too much energy and leaves behind a negative detritus.
The one thing that has been coming up a lot of late that I think particularly deleterious is dogma of any type. As the old saying goes if any one tells you they have “the truth” you better start walking quickly in the other direction.
On that point, I would say we need to start with the those simple things that most of us can agree on that are both good for our selves and those around us.
I already know what I dislike, but would rather concentrate on new better alternatives.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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At the moment, the (English) National Health Service.
My mothers sister, who I'm very close to (she was the first family member I came out to, for example),is aged 73, but was still working / editing papers / teaching about half-time. Over five weeks ago, she came off her bike while cycling round Regents Park in London ... she has suffered permanent brain damage and is now severely confused / memory-impaired. The Intensive Care staff were brilliant, but when she left intensive care she was dumped in a ward designed for kidney patients (duh??). They've moved her bed round four times in the past four weeks - as it takes her several days to learn new things like where the toilet is, this has been very difficult for her (and the family!). Everyone has been agreed for the past four weeks that she should be in rehab. However, all four suitable rehab units in the area have declined to even assess her. The consultant (who finally deigned to phone a member of the family a week after we started asking to speak to him) says that he will just keep on trying, and advises us (the family) to write to the Chief Exec. of the NHS trust, and to get local friends to write to the local MP.
The only concrete suggestion that has come out is to get Social Services involved ... they may be able to get her into private medical care. The snag? "Personal needs / care" woulds not be covered (in England - Scotland is different), so even though medical care would be NHS-funded, my aunt, or her agent, would have to find substantial sums for probably the rest of her life to pay for things like assistance getting dressed, bathing, feeding, etc.
What makes me so cross about it all is that this is a woman who - as a greatly respected Child Psychoanalyst - has for over 45 years voluntarily worked part-time for free and/or at greatly reduced cost in NHS clinics for kids and adolescents.
I won't even begin to start on my own experiences of the NHS, nor my fifteen-month wait for effective treatment at a specialist pain clinic, or the total lack of support I have experienced in becoming disabled ...
Sorry for the whinge! Actually, I'm a bit fraught about it all, especially as I'm the only member of the family who lives close to the hospital, so all sorts of family members have been staying with me on-and-off for the past month (including my mother, five or six nights a week: I love her dearly, but after four days we get on each others nerves ... she's not staying with me at all this week, which is just as well, otherwise we'd've reached the throwing-things stage!).
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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Political correctness in all its forms, and the associated buzz-word culture. When someone asks to be 'kept in the loop' I have an almost uncontrollable urge to place the loop around the speaker's neck and twist it tightly!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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I agree about the "buzz word culture" - it was one of the things I really hated about working in local government, where it is prevalent among managers who have an MBA, but no actual experience of the commercial world ... I assume in a vain attempt to give themselves some level of credibility.
I don't altogether agree about "political correctness" - while there have been a few widely-reported cases where minor functionaries have misunderstood what it's all about, I do fully support the principle that language conditions our view of other people, and it is courteous to avoid using words and descriptions likely to cause offence or be taken as derogatory. If I were to see an offical document using "fags" or "queers" instead of "gay men", I would complain - likewise if I saw a reference to "cripples" rather than "disabled people" or "people with disabilities" (disabled people is in the UK taken as referring to people disabled by lack of provision for their requirements - the social model, while people with disabilities is taken as referring to a medical model of disability). I pick these two examples as obviously they are areas I've a vested interest in: the same would certainly apply to religious or racial terms.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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As regards political correctness, I wasn't really thinking simply about descriptors; I was more concerned with the physical and economic consequences of institutional stupidity. Two examples -
My village and the adjacent village were by-passed ten years ago. On the by-pass, at a cross-roads, a footbridge was provided. To be 'user-friendly' for the disabled, the approaches were wide, easily-graded spirals. As a result, the able-bodied - comprising the vast majority of those needing to cross the road - simply ignored the bridge. Two teenagers died before the highway authority accepted the need to provide short, stepped access at each end of the bridge.
My local medical practice was housed in a large Victorian terraced house with stepped access. Despite the Doctors' willingness to see disabled patients at a nearby health centre, a lift was installed at great expense - but is hardly used.
I fully and absolutely subscribe to the principle that, so far as possible, those who are disabled should not suffer - but it seems that the politically-correct faction is totally incapable of lateral thinking!
As regards politically-correct terminology, I'd suggest that the principles of courtesy are a sufficient guide. If we replace one descriptor with another, ultimately it changes nothing.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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cossie wrote:
> To be 'user-friendly' for the disabled, the approaches were wide, easily-graded spirals.
This is an example of the kind of well-intentioned but ill-informed provision that is all too common! OK, ramps suit wheelchair users, cyclists, and parents with kids in buggies, but actually steps may suit many other people better - including many of the "ambulant disabled" (including me!). I wouldn't see this so much as political correctness as what I'm sure they would have described as a "failure to involve the full range of stakeholders", or - in English - not listening to the local people who know what they need.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Ramps can also disable the previously able bodied. When one expects steps the body prepares to walk up or down steps. A ramp, especially one in a previously "stepped" place causes falls and sprains and damage.
This does not mean that ramps should not be provided. It means that blanket provision of ramps is often badly considered and done as an unthinking response to giving building access for all people.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Sentences starting "I don't want to (something or other), but (I'm going to anyway)", or "I'm sorry, but (I am actually not sorry at all, so there!)"
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I 100% agree with that, timmy.
And one of my pet hates is certainly people who think that by tacking a ramp onto the front of a building they have made it "acessible".
And, to be fair, another of my pet hates is most people who drive "mobility scooters" ! There's a speed restriction on these beasts when they're used on the pavement or in shops - higher speeds are allowed on roads. But far too many of these things are driven *at top speed* round my local supermarket by people who seem not only to be far less mobility-impaired than I am, but also to have selective profound sensory impairments which make them oblivious to other people's existence.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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My pet hates include:
The labrador hates to go outside when it's cold or raining
The labrador hates being left in the same room as the terrier
The terrier won't eat vegetables
Neither of them much likes going to the vet
The labrador hates being asked to get into the car, as she's terribly old and stiff
David
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I got two pet hates. Express lanes in a store. the sign says 10 items or less, cash only. Your behind an old bag with 200 items and shes gonna write a check. The clerk doesnt stop her and tell her to go to a regular line.Trust me I will say something and out loud too. Ive been called a rude child more than once. The second is people with Handycap tags on the car and parking in a handycap parking space. they get out of the car and they are 25 years old and not a thing wrong with them. The tag is for their grandmother/grandfather and shes not with her/him. Then when someone who actually is handycapped has to park in the north 40 cause this person has taken up the handycap space. Ive said something about that more than a few times. Tell then they should be ashamed of themselves. Of course my mom is goning "hush" "shut up" while being told how rude and disrespectful I am.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Especially when it should say "10 items or fewer"
I think the clerk should ask which 10 items they want.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Random apostrophes and the people who seem unable to learn how to use them correctly 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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People who insist they have a "Golden Labrador" when it is Yellow, not golden, which is reserved for the Golden Retriever, the name of a breed.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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People who overfeed their children. The child can't choose not to be fat. "Eat up your meal!" This is as bad as beating your kid, and should be treated as abuse.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Said Timmy,
>Random apostrophes and the people who seem unable to learn how to use them correctly
... especially "your" and "you're", "their and they're", "its and it's", etc.
I can cope with typos. I can just about cope with inadvertent grammatical mistakes, as they often happen if you rewrite a sentence without proof reading it properly. I can't cope when people actually do not know why something is wrong.
David
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I think it is actually a single word. Whoops!
Luckily I did not condemn not proofreading properly in the parent post, otherwise I really would be hoist by my own petard.
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Our labrador is most definitely not golden. Golden implies shininess. She is a whitish-yellow.
David
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...all "lowest common denominator" comedy, especially American "gross-out" comedy.
David
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People who blame a spelling mistake (especially a really stupid one, where the wrong word is used entirely) on the spellchecker.
People who use a grammar checker, full stop. They don't work.
People who claim they didn't get your email "because it went into the spam folder", the implication being that it was somehow your fault for sounding like a spammer.
Companies that take no responsibility for a technical fault, despite virtually every computer problem these days being predictable. Companies that don't back up data through pure incompetence, then claim it was not their fault when data was lost.
Companies that think the best way to "improve the customer experience" is to make customers wait two hours on a premium rate telephone line.
People who design their web sites only to work with Internet Explorer. Worse, people who design their web sites only to work with Internet Explorer, and then set up the server to refuse to serve requests to browsers that are not Internet Explorer to cover up their own incompetence.
David
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Incomplete stories.
In other words, stories in which the ending is sidelined, never adequately explained, or never completed by the original author, yet the story is published or broadcast anyway.
I ought to add that I am talking here mostly about television and film executives who deliberately engineer that situation (one of elaborate and drawn-out suspense) to milk a franchise for all it is worth, often against the wishes of the original writers (who then find themselves unable to write a good conclusion for that reason). It has nothing to do with ANY of the stories on this site, before anyone asks!
I also do not include stories where the ending is kept cryptic and incomplete by the author in line with the rest of the plot for artistic effect, or to provoke thought. (David Lynch, etc.)
I suppose I ought to exclude stories in which the original author has died in the process of writing it (Douglas Adams), but those ones really depress me and I try to avoid them.
Finally, I'll also add to the list stories or films in which there is a huge plot twist just before the end that completely wrecks the story, for no reason whatsoever other than to surprise the audience. Intelligent twists are okay.
David
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M. Night Shyamalan's films are good illustrations of the 'plot twist' problem.
"The Sixth Sense" had an intelligent twist, albeit one that was pretty obvious even before it was made explicit. You really learnt something new about the principal character through it -- in other words, it suggested and provided a resolution to the story.
On the other hand, his most recent film, "The Village" ("Lady in the Water" has not yet been released over here) had a peculiar twist that completely pulled apart the genre it was supposed to be set in. In fact, it was really a meta-twist: it didn't affect the characters' motivations, didn't reveal anything new about them, and hence felt "tacked on". In other words, its sole purpose was to surprise the audience.
I don't know if anyone else can comment, but I found that the twist trivialised the movie. It actually had some beautiful cinematography and good sound design, but I doubt many of the audience noticed that while they were sitting there wondering what on earth could possibly happen next.
David
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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I wasted 2 hours of my life watching that rubbish
Of hsi work I only found 6th sense worth watching
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Problem is, he's been typecast. He can't be original, because that would mean the producers and financiers would have to take a risk. Safer to make old hat stuff with a guaranteed audience.
I read an interesting article about his latest film in American Cinematographer yesterday. It was shot outside during the day but is intended to look like night. (That technique practically never works.) That's why I was thinking of him.
David
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Which is another pet hate. I loathe movies where they use daylight and pretend it's night. It's so obvious to the viewer.
And I hate those where the lighting budget was so low that you wish you could see something, anything at all.
And then there are those where it is always raining, raining, raining.
Add to those the ones Mark Lester appeared in coz his dad was directing.....
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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And Jessica Fletcher and Murder She Wrote! Please give us some credit for a brain
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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A pure foriner like my wo'nt dear to came half neare thi's place.
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Hi Timmy,
>Which is another pet hate. I loathe movies where they use daylight and pretend it's night. It's so obvious to the viewer.
'Day for night', as it is called, is seriously out of fashion these days, precisely because it's so obvious to the viewer. That's why I remarked on it regarding Shyamalan's latest film. I suppose I will watch it for that reason, to see how successful Chris Doyle (the DoP) was.
>And I hate those where the lighting budget was so low that you wish you could see something, anything at all.
Not sure what you mean there. Everyone has pretty much the same equipment these days, even the tiniest films; just more or less of it. The quality of lighting rarely has anything to do with the budget, except on tiddly tiddly little student films that never achieve distribution. (Perhaps the best-lit film of all time, "Barry Lyndon", used virtually no lighting equipment at all.) Usually if everything's underexposed, it's like that for a reason. It may not, of course, be a very good reason; that depends on the director of photography. If he isn't good at his job, then the equipment available won't make any difference.
>And then there are those where it is always raining, raining, raining.
Well, that's the director's fault. I can't make any excuses for that!
>Add to those the ones Mark Lester appeared in coz his dad was directing.....
Are you talking about Mark Lester, the child actor from "Oliver!"? I'm fairly sure his father was not a director. He was apparently a producer of some sort, but not a very high profile one. There's a director called Mark L. Lester, but he is entirely unrelated. Please clarify?
David
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Daytime television. Saturday evening gameshows. Lifestyle programmes.
In fact, make that all television, with the exception of:
- High quality, densely plotted one-off or serial drama (NOT soaps)
- The BBC News
- Films on TV (preferably on the BBC, so without advertisement breaks)
- Sitcoms (but not most American sitcoms, and only "good" British ones)
- Documentaries made by and for intelligent people
Do I sound snobbish? Is there any other genre that deserves to be saved?
David
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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NW, I appreciate your disability and would hate you to think that anything that follows is aimed at you!
I tend to think of disability provision as a prime example of political correctness - and this extends to some aspects of the current legislation on the subject. It seems to me to be essentially a question of balance.
Of course I fully agree that public buildings should be designed or modified to make them accessible to the widest possible spectrum of users. What irritates me is the proliferation of examples of the kind I quoted. The bridge was designed to meet the convenience of a minority, at the expense of the convenience of the majority. That, in my view, is plainly wrong. I'm not suggesting that long, spiral ramps should not have been provided, but to omit short, stepped access for the able-bodied majority was idiocy, and the consequent death of two teenagers was both entirely predictable and wholly avoidable. That, I think, is the very essence of political correctness - a focus on perceived ideology coupled with an apparent inability to cope with, or indeed even to see the wider picture.
I am also vehemently opposed to 'positive' discrimination, another politically correct concept. If the legislation to counter 'negative' discrimination is sensibly applied, that should be sufficient. Why should the proportion of female members of parliament be increased by forcing constituencies to select female candidates? If a prospective female candidate feels that she has suffered discrimination in the selection process, I see no reason why she should not pursue her grievance - but why should a highly suitable male candidate be rejected simply because he is a man?
I see political correctness as the enemy of fairness and balance, and that makes me see red and make uncharacreristically angry posts like this one!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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(Ducks below parapet as missiles fly overhead!)
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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One pet hate - the BBC TV news, biassed, intent on swapping places with the weather forecast, the news tries to tell you what's going to happen, while the weatherperson tells you what has happened. Why does a reporter stand outside Downing Street or New Scotland Yard to tell you what the reader in the studio can tell you?
Second pet hate - person instead of man, eg weatherperson, chairperson, even 'chair'. These ignoramuses are incapable of distinguishing the two meanings of man - man as opposed to woman, and man as opposed to beast, and then they have the temerity to impose their ignorance through PC. My mother was chairman of her Townswomen's Guild and insisted on that title.
Watch this space
Nigel
Aspiring Grumpy Old Man
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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People who do not realise that prepositions take the oblique case - the 'Between you and I Brigade'.
"Frances saw Peter and I…" "Yes? And what did you do next?" They must think it posh or educated even though they wouldn't say 'Frances saw I'.
Nigel
Aspiring Grumpy Old Man
More pet hates when Cossie has finally got his ducks below the parapet.
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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People that think they know what's best for me.....
Crowded places.... especially when one of those people that think they know what's best for me is there with me.....
Badly cooked food in expensive restaurents that are crowded with people that think they know what's best for me.....
Paying for badly cooked food in expensive restaurants that are crowded with people that think they know what's best for me.....
Precotious children.....
Badly trained dogs.....
Warm beer..... Especially if it comes from one of thise expensive restaurants.....
Cold food..... See above.....
Cold friends..... Well, whatever.....
Be-backs..... A "be-back" is a particularly nasty segment of the American culture that continually goes through shops, looking at all the things they already know they can not afford and after taking up seven or eight hours of my (or other shopowners) time say..... "I'll be back"
Sour pickels on my hamburger.....
The color puce.....
Wasting time.....
Too hot weather.....
Ice cream with lumps.....
Flat tires on the car.....
Internet snobs.....
Cat puke in the hall to the bathroom at three in the morning.....
Spiders.....
People that use excessive language to express a simple idea.....
Cars filled up with boomy loud music that causes my house windows to rattle two miles away.....
Doctors..... All of them.....
People that tell me to go to doctors.....
Rice cakes.....
Fishing.....
Among others.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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So called friends that tend to drop occasional comments which they know will cause upset or damage.....
People that call the loosest form of apparent association a friendship.....
Among others.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Hi cossie
of course I don't take it personally!
Actually, I share much of your frustration and annoyance with "a focus on perceived ideology coupled with an apparent inability to cope with, or indeed even to see the wider picture"
I think that much of the problem is that we are still groping our way towards an acceptable agreed language which has equalities issues integrated into it. Some areas make progress more easily than others: after a brief struggle, "partner" has become pretty much accepted to convey "husband, wife, spouse, live-in lover, significant other, etc." Other areas are still much more problematic: what I would call an "adapted toilet" is also known as a "disabled toilet", "disabled persons WC", a "wheelchair-users WC", and assorted other things. In this case, the classic "PC" mistake is to call the facility a "disabled ...", and fall into the mental trap of thinking that this caters for all disabilities (and it is noticeable that many such toilets do not have good colour contrasts to help visually-impaired people, for example).
We need a language, and a way of thinking about people, that encourages a recognition of diversity ... PC language is a first attempt at this, but continues to suffer from those who pick up the buzz-words but fail to understand the intentions.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Im not gonna say anything.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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