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Ok I thought I would start a new post for the update on how... well if you read "Need some Help! about a boy" you will know whats going on. The last post was getting a little too long for me.
Today is 8/19/06.
I can't rember if it today or tommorw that we work at the same time. And well I'm a little nervous. I so hope that I get the reaction that I want. Cause what if he is not well you know. And I don't know if I can do it. But if he is I'll be so happy. And not just that type of happy. (get your mind out of the gutter.) So than I'll keep you up to date.
I so hope Brandon is interested in me. If not interested, at least be friends.
So with that said I'm off to work in 1 hour so I got to go get ready. I'll check in before I leave tho
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Go for it. Whats the worse that can happen?
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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You know, all of the advice is ok in so many ways. But Brandon seems to be your friend already, doesn't he, kind of?
Why not just suggest you both hang out?
Why not, while hanging out, mention that you've been kind of hoping he might also be gay?
He touches you and makes eye contact. So why not just see how hanging out goes?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hope all goes well.
Hugs, Jason and Brandon
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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Good luck, Jason!
I guess you know by now ..
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... if today was the day, but I hope everything went well!
If you didn't work together today, then good luck for tomorrow!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Well he accualy shocked me today. (Side note "my left arm was put in a sling for some probles i'm haveing with it") so today was the first day he saw me with my arm in a sling. the first thing he did was put his hand on my sholder and i had a wired feeling that i can't even desribe. and he asked what i did to my arm. I asked if he could help me get a pc down from the top shelf in lock up so we would be alone. at first he joked around about my arm while we looked for the box. i looked more at him thin for that box. he turned to me and i desdet it was now or never but then he did it before i could. I looked down with out relizing what did and he then sayed why he was doing.("man my balls itch") I was shoced. But I don't know if they realy did itch or he was doing the same thing i was about to do.
And i think ill ask if he wants to hang out some time after work.
But that will have to whait till monday.
i'm sorry about the bad post it too late. i just got home from a hard days work. but a good day cause of what happend.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Yeayyyy!!!…
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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I think I'll take timmy's advice now, and ask if he wants to hang out after work, or see if he wants to work out at the gym I go to after work. I know he works out.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Or, possibly, ask what HIS gym is like and if you can go with him.
People respond better to "May I join you?" than "Will you join me?". This is because they see themselves as leaders, and being joined is flattering.
But there is no harm in asking him, unless it embarrasses you, if he is gay TOO.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy wrote:
> Or, possibly, ask what HIS gym is like and if you can go with him.
>
> People respond better to "May I join you?" than "Will you join me?". This is because they see themselves as leaders, and being joined is flattering.
>
Yea I'll do it your way you bring up a good point.
Thank you, for the advices.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Hey you were right. I did not ask to join him. But let me summerize what happened. I was talking to him don't rember much just that I love to hear him talk. But I stated that was going to enjoy my work and then the half an hour soak in the hot. And asked where I worked out I said lifetime fitness. And he said one of the locations that he gose to. I think now I will too. LOL. I asked when did he have time to work out betwwen school and work. He said after school. and befor work he said about 4:00pm.
And then our boss walked in and told us to get back to work.
GOD I WISH I HAD THE BALLS TO JUST TELL HIM AND REAL KNOW FOR SURE.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Jason, don't forget that if you have the chance to work out with him you also have the opportunity to shower together afterwards. 
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Just ask if he minds if you join him. That is all. So far he's a friend. That truly is all he is.
If oyu want more than friendship the risk has to be taken.
OK, now it is a risk, but the quantity of risk depends on the environment you live in. List what could happen on the downside. And list probability of those things happening.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... but don't be in too much of a hurry.
Was it Rudyard Kipling (of 'Jungle Book' fame) who said 'Softly, softly, catchee monkey'? If it wasn't, one of our resident pedants is surely going to tell me who it was!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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i went to work to let my sister get some supplys and talked to him and trew out if he ever need a work partner that i would be glad to go with him his face went from happy beutiful smile of his to no expression at all and he pased for a sec and asked if was going to work out to day still facual expression i said yes he turned to pick up a box and walked a way when i was checking out he came up got a soda and asked how long of a work out i said dont know and as i was done cheaking out the casher who i like to fight with not hate fight but play fight said oh Brandon i did not know you where buying some thing me being me like idiot said no he just likes to stand up frount and hold a coka. i did not hear what he said but i heard her reaction and a little light went out inside me on the way home i did some thig i never did before i drove with out a care for anything or any one it wasent till my sisster told me in a yell that i was scaring her that i looked at my speed i was going 120-125 and that i had no seatbealt on some thing i have never done be for when i got home just laid in my bed and stared at the roof till i had to pee which was about 3 3 half hours i turnd my pc on and heard the gmail mail alert and saw some one had posted and hear im
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Jason, it dont mean nothing. What was her reaction to what he said?
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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ProfZodiac
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Likes it here |
Location: United States
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 115
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I apologize if I'm too bold in asking, but could you punctuate every now and again? I can scarcely figure out what you're saying.
(Of course, having just had a crappy 'might he be interested' situation of my own, I might not be the right person to offer advice anyway, but still.)
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I'm sorry for the way the first post came out. so here is a new version I took what Timmy said, and thought realy hard about what he said. Came to the concluesion that the worse that could happen is he say thanks but no thanks. And that would not hurt our friend ship. Nor be a no to if is gay. And was going to ask the next time I saw him which would thursday. I would make sure. Then I got a chance to go today like if fate was smileing on me. I took it as a good sign.
So I went to work to let my sister get some supplys, and talk to him. I went up to him and started to talk, and trew out if he ever need a work out partner. That I would be glad to go with him. After I said that his face went from a happy, beutiful smile (I Love That Smile.)of his to no expression at all. And he did not say any thing for a sec. Than asked if I was going to work out to day. (Still no facual expression.) I said yes. He than turned to pick up a box, and walked a way.(I was not hurt by that I was Ok with it, I though maybe I shocked him, or I'm going to fast.) When I was checking out, he came up got a soda. And waited right next to me, and asked how long going to workout for. I said don't know. When I was done cheaking out the casher who I like to fight with, not hate fight but play fight. Said oh Brandon I did not know you where buying some thing. Me being me, like idiot said NO he just likes to stand up frount and hold a coka.(Just being a smart ass.) I did not hear what he said, but I heard her reaction. She said "yea he is." in a tone that I heard only when we talked about this one co-worker who piss off everbody. In that moment a little light went out inside me. On the way home I did some thig I never did before. I drove with out a care for anything, or any one. It wasent till my sister told me in a yell, that I was scaring her. That I looked at my speed I was going 120-125, in a light rain.(I speed but not like that unless there is no one eles on the road.)I also had no seatbealt on, some thing I have never done be for. When I got home just laid in my bed, and looked at the roof. Till I had to pee which was about 3, 3 half hours. When i got back I turnd my pc on, and heard the gmail mail alert and saw some one had posted and hear I'm I'm sorry but the first time I never read what I posed untill now. I hope it makes sence now.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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You need to relax on this.
He is a friend. He is feeling his way towards something - may not be the same something you are feeling your way towards, but it is something. The world will not end of he is not gay, the world will not end if he is gay but not attracted to you.
Relax, and ask him quietly if you can join him. After all, maybe each of you can teach the other something in a workout about working out. But it has to be no big deal, or you'll react oddly if he says something unexpected.
Remember, friendship first is the best. This is true heterosexually, so why not homosexually?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy wrote:
>
> Relax, and ask him quietly if you can join him. After all, maybe each of you can teach the other something in a workout about working out. But it has to be no big deal, or you'll react oddly if he says something unexpected.
>
I did ask and he no reaction Good nor Bad. But I'm ok with the way he reacted. But thats not whats bugging me. It's what I heard, when I was leaving. The tone of her voice told me every thing. Thats what did this.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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... so far as I can tell.
The best I can find, from Googling it -- I expect there are better references available, but I don't have one to hand -- is that it is a late 19th or early 20th century proverb. No reference to Kipling; nor did he quote it in his work (again, so far as I can tell).
Incidentally, you might be interested by:
http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/42/messages/728.html
Apparently (and I am not sure who this person is, so he is not necessarily absolutely right), "monkey" may refer to female genitals. In which case, Cossie, the expression is not quite appropriate!
The thing that worries me about the softly, softly approach is that it generally works, provided that you are absolutely happy to accept that the other person is probably straight and therefore is only likely ever to be a friend. If you start stringing out the friendship by hoping for something else you are setting yourself up for a fall, or at least disappointment. Much better to establish whether or not he is gay at an early stage.
David
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Jason, next time you see him appologose. Tell him you were just trying to be funy and it didnt work. His change in expression might have been to not act to excitted about having youj with him. Remember he dont know if your gay either and might not want to seem to excitted.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Ignore anyone except him and you. Your co-worker may have an axe to grind with either of you.
If he asked how long you planned to work out, to me that seems positive. So just smile, treat him no differently from normal, and be yourself. 
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I have givien it much thought I don't even know what he said it could have been anything. and I over reacted. Part of has to do with some med that I take. when I go a wile with takeing them and get back on them again I tend to get angry and sad real easy.( Ijust got back on it cause I could not take it with the other pill I was taking for my arm.)
I'll see if going to go workout after work tommorw. And if he is see if I can join him.
on a side note did you have fun on your trip.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Tell him that sometimes you need to taked a med that makes you careless with stuff you say and ask if you offended him.
My trip - well it was more business than pleasure. I am back but after 358 miles behind the wheel I am also tired
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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http://www.kipling.org.uk/rg_kim_notesF.htm
The Second Jungle Book, [Page 408, line 26] Softly—softly A note of caution, meaning 'move with care' — from the Chinese proverb: “Softly, softly catchee monkey". This suggests that slow and steady wins the race or the prize; thus, this is the way to attain a particular goal, in this case, Paradise. (appaently, but it really depends on the pagination.)
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13798
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Ah no. Kim. I misread the context.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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Good ole Timmy! Good ole Kimball O'Hara! Good ole Rudyard Kipling!
Geez, I can never use the word 'Vindicated' without thinking of the film 'The Rare Breed', starring James Stewart and a Hereford Bull. Not sure which of them had the lead role, but the bull was called 'Vindicator'!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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