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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Today at school, some football players were
humiliating a small shy little kid. They had
caught him in the locker room, stripped him and
written fag on his chest with marker. I have no
idea what he is or isn't. That's not the issue.
They were going to push him out in the courtyard
like that. He was hysterical. Why is it coaches
are never around when these things happen? I'm
not a jock by any stretch of the imagination,I'm
a skateboarder. I didn't know what to do but that
just COULDN'T happen. I spoke up something like
"Leave that poor guy alone".....
and got broken glasses,a bloody nose,two cracked
ribs and 2 weeks of detention. The shouting [mine]
got a teacher's attention before they murdered us
both. The jocks were not punished [they never are]
and I got blamed for causing a disturbance.The little
kid jerked on clothes and ran, thank God, he wasn't
hurt.......physically. So, it ended up just me and
the idiots. I didn't want to make it worse, so I
just said I picked a fight. Totally stupid to anyone
who knows me.
My dad is angry because my glasses are broken and
that I shouldn't have stuck my nose where it didn't
belong.
I think I can answer Michael Simon's question now.
Yes, there is homophobic hatred in the age bracket
of 13-17 today. And the worse part.......I really
think they might have sexually abused him if I
hadn't happened to go back for my Trig book.
I don't undertand why I think that. They seemed to
be SO angry with him for being......him.
In your discussion of the GayoMeter, it said you
will feel free after you tell people and come out.
Um......not unless I want fag written across my
chest. The only living soul that knows about me
here IS my dog. His name is JerimiahWuzA and he
won't tell.
Thanks.I needed to tell someone.I wish I understood.
smith
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understand myself. Why do the Serbs and Croats always fight? The Muslims and Jews. Blacks and whites. Male and female. Short and tall. You and someone. Me and anyone. I guess the world would all have to be clones from the same seed for everyone to get along.
Sorry you got mixed up in this, but I am glad that you did for the sake of that boy. If more people stood up to the bullies, maybe there would be fewer bullies.
So let's drink a berr and cry a little for the lose to mankind, then read the other posts from today because they are really great.
Hugs, Charlie
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You DID do the right thing, even if you had to suffer for it.
And even though your dad doesn't understand, and your glasses got broken and you got detention and all that.
You did the right thing.
I feel proud of you, and so should you I think. No matter if there is a god who keeps score or not, you just notched up a couple pluses there in any case.
Okay, trying hard to NOT sound cliché here. I'm not the one who got assaulted so all this is easy for me to say.  It's still what I feel though, sometimes it's not winning that counts but trying. (Yes, another cliché perhaps, but a truism too.) If we want to try to make the world better we won't make it happen by turning a blind eye to the bad stuff that happens around us.
Anyway, you should definitely press charges against those that attacked you. Get photo evidence of your injuries, X-rays of your ribs etc and contact the police. What you experienced is NOT acceptable. If they don't get a reaction from society, these guys WILL do it again.
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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There is the law...... Go to the proper authorities and file charges.
Don't just let them get away with it.
Then go to a lawyer and file suit in civil court.
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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... it's this benighted culture of hatred, of bullying, of intolerance. It makes one sick. I can't explain it either, only bemoan it. And hope that every right-minded person stands up to it, just as you did. You may have incurred the wrath of those jocks, and the teachers, and your parents, and got badly hurt. But you can comfort yourself with the thought that you did right, and that everyone (I'm sure) on this board is behind you. And I hope the kid you rescued is too.
You said in reply to a post the other day, smith, that you weren't very brave. I reckon today has proved that statement completely wrong. Look after those ribs. Talk to your dog when you can't talk to us. And keep smiling - you're on the side of the angels.
Hugs
Mihangel
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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We humans have a pretty romantic notion about our superiority in the grand scheme of things, but we are tribal animals with animal instincts. We all have a primal urge to belong to a tribe, and most of us fulfil that need pretty well subconsciously by regarding ourselves as Northeners or Southerners, Christians or Muslims, Republicans or Democrats - there are hundreds of ways in which we can assert our tribal membership without detriment to anyone. To do so helps us to establish our place in the world and to relate to the rest of humanity. A few centuries of civilisation have encouraged us to suppress - or at least to control - the aggressive aspects of our tribal instincts. But as in all things it's a question of degree, and aggression still plays its part; it's a desirable characteristic in competitive sport, so it comes as no surprise to hear that the villains of the piece were footballers. This is a very brief and superficial summary of a very complex subject, but in short the jocks are inadequately developed members of humanity. They behave like animals because they ARE animals.
I'd guess that some - maybe the majority - of the pack are not intrinsically bad, though the ringleader will probaby be a an arrogant bastard all his life. The rest are simply carried along with the tribe, and history offers dozens of illustrations of the phenomenon; it just takes humanity a hell of a time to learn from its mistakes.
We move forward because people like you, smith, have the guts to stand up for the underdog. You have every reason to be proud. I am so very sorry that you did not receive the support that you deserved. The response of the school is despicable but predictable.
The only thing I would add to this tediously serious post is the suggestion that homophobia was not the essential motive prompting the attack - colour, race or religion would have served just as well. These dozos will victimise anyone outside of their own tribe. Yes, I believe that coming out is life-enhancing - I've done it twice, though I went back in for a longish spell in between! - but I agree with you that you need to be selective, and your dog seems a pretty good choice of confidant to me! Just don't lose sight of the fact that gay teens are a tribe, too, if only you can identify them.
Be proud and be happy!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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You're so right....this was all too tediously
serious. I'm fine with it. I just have to be
mystery guy for a few days and wear my prescription
shades. I found that little guy in the yearbook,
went over to see him and we talked. He's gonna
hang with my friends for a while. I never see those
other guys so we're cool. I'm going to teach him
how to ride my board.
A really cool 'good' thing happened to me today.
Please let me tell you so you know everything
is okay. The senior girls always publish a list
in the school newspaper at the end of the year
making statements they voted on about the younger
kids. I was voted "The boy they most wanted to
grab off his skateboard and kiss". Is that a hoot or
what? I wonder if I'd get anything if the senior
boys voted? 
Sorry I posted that mess. It WAS depressing.
Smiles-
smith
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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I wanted to say that before I said anything else at all. I told you once that you, smith, could make a difference and would make a difference.
I haven't read any of the other answers. I may or may not ocver the same ground. But I can answer as a one time school bully (yes, I was bullied and became a bully and only stopped when I saw what I was doing) and as an overt homophobe (because I felt i had to be in order to survive.
First as the bully:
Anyone weaker than me was fair game. And I don't mean physical weakness, I mean intellectual or emotional weakness as well. It was fun, I am ashamed to say, to pick on someone, though never a little kid, nor a younger kid. Their reaction was fun. It gave me a high to do it because, at last, I was in control of something. Never while being bullied had I been in control, but this gave me back the power I had not had. That it was a different kid from the one who'd bullied me was irrelevant.
Second "The Homophobe":
I felt that my own feelings were wrong, intellectually wrong, physically wrong, legally wrong, and wrong for me. I hated myself for being queer. I did two things to survive. Internally I hated myself and beat myself up. Externally I "hated queers". And I would have been one of those boys. Not the one with the marker pen, not the one with the ideas, but one round the edge, being "part of it", because it meant I was safe, beyond suspicion. Some of the jocks terrorising that kid will be gay, like me. And the "herd mentality" is also what drives people on. The closet gay to be a part of the herd, and the "horror of maybe being gay" to be a part of it. And one fool starts it.
A suggestion:
This depends on you and your courage. And it has two parts.
The first part is to befriend the kid who was bullied. To tell him that he has at least a haven with you to run and gain some form of protection, even if it is emotional protection after an unpleasant event. Tell him you have no interest in or idea whether he is gay, but that you hated what was happening to him. This part takes courage because he has been labelled as gay by the bastards who beat him, and you may get labelled with the same label.
The second part is quietly and "unofficially" to talk to a real and trusted staff member in the school. Tell them that you will take the punishment and are not arguing against it, but that they need to know what really happened. And tel lthem what really happened. If you like you did pick a fight. But it was a just fight. Jocks never get punished. (My own son was bullied by them ages 8-13 and they alwasy got praised and he always got hurt). Tell the staff member that oyu are not looking ofr the perpetrators to be punished, but that oyu are wanting to tensure that the school knows what happened.
I think your dad's reaction is normal. He will surely be proud of you, but he is scared that you got hurt. If he can't show the pride, heck smith, I am proud enough of you for 10 Dads
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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You know I am never surprised at what you do. Just awesomely proud
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Michael Simon
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 92
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I would say, why....you should be proud of yourself. (Sure he can be proud of you  )Unfortunatzely we can only make a difference by acting differently and standing up for our belifs and values. And you did that. But what I would suggest "cutest boy in the senior yr" you should honestly sue them guys.
But you know with what you did, you made a difference. The world needs more like you.
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Charlie Smith
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 46
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Well done dude your dad should be proud of you not upset about your glasses, but that's parents. Yes there is a lot of hostility in school, you did real good. I'm 17 too and see it lots of times unfortunately. I think coaches keep out of the way on purpose. I'm writing this from the college library in my lunch break. Got to go back now. Well done again smith.
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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I just found this site and this is my first post here so I would like to say Hi to everyone. I picked this post to reply to because it really hit home.
I was a football player in highschool. When I was a sophomore several of the seniors beat the crap out of another boy on the team they had accused of being gay. He was also a senior and I didn't know him, so I didn't know whether he was gay or not. They messed him up pretty bad and he was no longer able to play. The coaches weren't around then either. When I heard about it I was quite upset. Afterall, I was gay and although in the closet, it terrified me. I let the coaches know what happened. I'm not sure what they did about it, nothing that I could tell, except tell the bullies that I had informed on them. They didn't jump me after practice like they did him, but the biggest, badest, meanest one of them (about 6'4", 260 lbs) decided to take a cheap shot at me during practice (I was about 5'9", 160lbs). He practically took my head off. My helmet was split into three pieces and I ended up with a severe concussion and a broken nose. A week later, he did it again, the injuries weren't quite as severe but my nose was broken for the second time. He made it clear the he knew I had told the coach and that this was payback. The coach made him run a couple of laps as punishment for taking cheap shots, but that was it. Since it occurred on the field, there was really nothing else I could do but take it.
The above incident and a couple of others had a profound effect on my adolescence. I came out in highschool to only one other person and was absolutely terrified of anyone finding out I was gay (bi, actually). I understand that people are sometimes afraid of those who are different and lashing out is a normal response to fear. On one level it is instinctive. Athletes in general are trained to be aggressive and football (American style) is a violent sport. Players are taught to rely on their aggressive, animal instincts. Some have difficulty putting that aside when they aren't on the field.
Think good thoughts,
e
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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Cos frankly it's the only thing I have that can half make up for people getitng in the way of a game you love because oyu have ethics and hate to see an underdog hurt.
I'm gland you're here and glad you chose this post
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Thanks. The incident I described never really got in the way of the game. Another injury about a week later ended my football career (broken collar bone, nothing cheap about the hit that caused it and none of those guys were involved). But that incident did get in the way of being gay. Those guys and several others terrified me. There were a couple other incidents at my school and it just wasn't safe to allow anyone to know I was gay. I grew up in the 1970s in rural midwestern America and homosexuality was not something that was tolerated very well. I never once heard my parents use the words "gay, homosexual, queer, or fag, but they definitely said enough to let me know they didn't think it was ok.
I can think of no one at my school who was openly gay. There were rumors about a handful of guys, but it was always denied. Since graduation, I have learned that two of my friends were gay. Unfortunately, it was only after they committed suicide. One left no reason for killing himself, only a confession that he was gay. The other had been ostracized by his family and had suffered through some gay bashing after coming out. In some respects this makes me angry with myself for not having the courage to come out in highschool and stand up to the homophobes. Who knows, perhaps these guys would have joined me. Then again, it would most likely have resulted in getting a severe beating or two.
Think good thoughts,
e
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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No Message Body
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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Thanks, smith, for doing what's right, and further for befriending this kid who seems to need some friends right now.
I, too, am extremely proud of your bravery and righteousness. You are in my prayers, both the "thank you for him" and the "take care of him" kind.
I want to offer a different opinion on informing the authorities. Even before reading e's posting, my thought was, if it will truely do no good and may bring retaliation, why bother and make yourself a target? This is something you need to decide for youself, of course, and may also depend on how supportive your parents are in this particular case. Good luck on your decision - you know we'll all support you any way we can.
Another though, which you may not be able to do anything about, but Tim alluded to, is that often the "main bully" himself needs "help" as much as the victim, one way or the other. Of course personalities and how we deal with problems vary, but there is probably some problem causing him/them to act that way.
Um - even assholes need love? Something like that, and maybe with enough they'll someday stop being assholes. Not necessarily a relevant thought, but maybe something to keep in the back of you read if you hadn't already considered. I'll bet you have, though! (It WOULD be easier to give meaningful advice if you weren't so bright and self-aware, hehe.)
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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Thanks Trevor, and you are absolutely right when you say that many bullies need help. Many have been victimized themselves in one way or another. The bullying and agression they exhibit is a defense mechanism used to scare off potential threats. Sometimes, but not always, even these leopards can change their spots.
When I went to college I joined a fraternity that I later found out was the home of a good many homophobes and bigots. Two of them ended up getting arrested for picking up gay men, then taking them out and beating the crap out of them. Both went to jail for a year. One came out worse than when he went in. The other, a huge man with a strange resemblance to Frankenstein, became a truly nice person. Before being arrested any conversation with him was an educational experience in the use of bigoted and hateful slurs, especially regarding Blacks and gays. After his release I never once heard any such slur come out of his mouth. In fact, he spoke frequently about how he regretted his actions and wished that he knew some of his victims so that he could try and set things right. He and I never really became friends, but I was no longer scared of him and didn't mind talking with him once in a while. It is possible for abusers to stop abusing, but in my experience only a small minority of them ever do. But each and every one of that stops is a victory for the little guy.
Think good thoughts, then drink good beer.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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Three very good things came from this whole mess.
1.I have a new friend. Eddie is a cute little guy
who likes the same games I do. I got out an old
skateboard and he is going to be pretty good once
he quits falling off I just have to figure out
how to get him to go home -haha !! Seriously, he's
going to be okay now. Like I told him, we have to be
better than they are. We're the good guys.
2.The office called me and my detention was lifted.
After consideration, they realized I wasn't fighting
with myself. Duh! I was rather ludicrous to imagine
that I had picked a fight with five huge jocks. They
asked me what went on but I'm letting it drop. I did
ask that Eddie be moved from that PE class. They asked
why and I said, "It just needs to be done." They moved
him to mine so there will be no contact with them
anymore. I hope they are aware enough to watch a little
more carefully. I have reasons why I have to let the
whole thing just die down, so don't think I'm a wuss,
just very very careful and I pick my battles. This wasn't
one I wanted to fight.
3.Last night, one of football players who had been
there but hadn't really done anything, to hurt or to
help,came over to me in the parking lot and told me he
was sorry. He actually offered to pay for my glasses.
Maybe another new friend??? Trevor, maybe I can change
an asshole into a nice guy. We'll see.
Have a great day.....I'm going to the prom tonight.
Whoopee !! Loud music, spiked punch and guys in tuxedos.
Life is good !
Hey e .... makes me think I'm talking to Elvis
Thanks for the support everybody.
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Two thumbs up for you!
Just take care with that punch alright?
Now I'm off to walk in the wonderful sunny weather, and then I have to go help a guy with his crappy, ancient PC which would be better off being taken out back and shot, haha...
-Lenny
"But he that hath the steerage of my course,
direct my sail."
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet, Act One, Scene IV
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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So far from what I have read you have made all the correct decisions--in my opinion anyway. You have made us all very proud--especially me. By not turning these nasties in, you have given yourself a a trump card which you may be able to use if they come after you again. You did them a favor and be sure to remind them of that. I am sorry that your dad (or parents) did not stand behind you when you comitted such a noble act. However, some people (like you) are strong, while others (like your parents or me) are weak. You may wish to consider trying to talk to your parents about this, but obviously that could be dangerous ground for you regarding keeping your sexuality disguised (why did you help this GAY guy when you maybe did not help others in the past?).
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I didn't help a gay guy. I helped someone who needed
help.It was like that could have been me just as well
as him. And I have done it before, just never got
caught in the crossfire. It was like 5 pitbulls going
at a Cocker Spaniel.
And......I think I'm getting tired of hiding who I am.
I'll be a senior next year and if they want to mess with
me, so be it. Fighting solves nothing.I'm much better
with words than I would ever be with my fists.
Talking to my dad? May I just say.....uh...no. To help
along the picture perhaps, he is high elder in the
baptist church. [note that I did not use capitals in
that description] Our dinner blessing contains praise
that none of us are perverted in any way by the evils
of man. I LOVE dinner time He is a good man. He
loves the smith he thinks he knows. And,his love is
important to me.
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tim
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Really getting into it |
Location: UK, West of London in Ber...
Registered: February 2002
Messages: 842
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He is a good man. There is nothing wrong in having faith and principles, though I argue with those when used to hurt others. I pray simply that the day will come when he sees the smith that is and is proud of him and knows he loves him rather than the smith you wisely allow him to see.
His love is very important. Do all you can to keep it and to help him to be proud of you. I suspect that his helping you to become who you are intellectually and emotionally has helped a great deal with your being astute and wise in dealing with people.
As for hiding, stay in hiding while it is wise and only come out of hiding when and where it is wise and safe to do so.
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AdamAnt
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 74
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It seems a bit weird that these jocks picked on a random kid, and decided to write FAG on him.
Is the kid openly gay or something ?
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Darren
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Likes it here |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 190
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You are a good person for helping him. As for hiding who you are, I would still be cautious about being too flamboyant. It does not seam like you are in an environment that is very accepting. Your life could be tranformed into a very isolated existance even if nothing happens to you physically.
As for your dad, I can see that being very hard for you. My therapist suggested to me that it is much more difficult to fake your affection for women than to hear bad things said about gay people. I had never thought about this, but now I must agree with thim. Thus, my suggestion is to not let him bother you with his preaching. They are his beliefs but they don't need to be yours. However, don't let yourself be forced too much into a roll that is difficult to play. Basically, what I am trying to say, there is nothing wrong with being particular about women.
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Charlie Smith
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 46
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No Message Body
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Charlie Smith
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 46
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No Message Body
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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I'm glad things are working out so well. Sounds like the school has come to its senses as well. Good for them. It's not so surprising that they lifted your detention, but it is surprising that they did it without absolutely insisting on an explanation.
Sounds like this football player is probably a nice guy waiting to happen. He just needs a new set of friends. There were guys like him at my school too. They were around when bad things happened but never really participated. They watched and said nothing. Usually they were too afraid to speak up for what was right. A lot of times it's because they feel too alone. Numbers are the best way to defeat bullies. Maybe you can be his friend and show him that he's not alone either.
Nothing wrong with picking your battles. Sometimes it's wise not to fight. Fight the fights you are comfortable with, let the others go. If you fight every fight that comes along you'll not have time to enjoy the victories or life in general.
e is an old nickname. My first name is Walter but I go by Walte. Most people don't put the e on the end. I had a supervisor who consistently left it off and I would have to correct him, telling him "it's Walte with an "e." In retaliation, he began leaving off the W-a-l-t when writing my name on the assignment board and simply put an "e" on the board. Soon that's what everyone was calling me. But hey, I am an Elvis fan.
Think good thoughts,
e
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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My mother was the religious one in the family. I don't think she could ever accept or understand. Remember this about your father's prayer. He may consider homosexuality to be a perversion and an evil of man, but that doesn't mean that it is. You certainly don't sound like someone who is "perverted by the evils of man." You know that old saying "be careful what you ask for..." Well, it sounds to me like his prayer has indeed been answered.
Think good thoughts,
e
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e
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On fire! |
Location: currently So Cal
Registered: May 2002
Messages: 1179
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It probably made no difference to the jocks whether the kid was gay or not. Bullies don't have to be right. They don't even have to think they are right Quite likely he did something that offended one of them and they were simply out to humiliate him in the worst way possible. It doesn't take much to offend a bully or a homophobe. Maybe he glanced in the wrong direction in the locker room. smith said he is a "shy little kid." That could be enough in and of itself. Being both shy and small can be almost like wearing a target on your back.
But if smith happens to be interested in him, then his sexuality does matter. ;=)
Think good thoughts,
e
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Michael Simon
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 92
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Well,
I am in a kinda equal position, I coudl never tell my rents. They are not religious but very traditional. Everything like being gay woudl be an imperfection which would cut me off my supplies immediately. I am 26 now, and I did not come out to them, an dyou guys know what..why tell them??? Let them find out one day, but smith you shodl never tell them as long as you are dependant on them. The rik is way too high. I may be a coward for how I am reacting, but nothing is worse than come ing out to the wrong person at teh wrong time ( I did so and it ended a very long friendship and sent the bullies...caused me to try suicide and only by big luck it was not reported to my rents)
So thin well what you are doin! And in my opinion it i snot exactly therapy Darren, mayb eif oyu are mature enough, but not if you are young...
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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The way I wish my parents would find out would be when
they realize that I still have a guy for a roommate
5 years AFTER I graduate from college and am living
in a galaxy far far away. Thanks Michael
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trevor
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Really getting into it |
Registered: November 2002
Messages: 732
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He probably DOES love you in the long run regardless of who/"what" you turn into (from his perspective.) But, you know him best and it sounds like it will take you awhile to "deprogram" HIM (heh heh) which might be easier to deal with when you aren't dependant upon him both materially and, to a great extent, emotionally.
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mihangel
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Likes it here |
Location: UK
Registered: July 2002
Messages: 192
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Helped along in this case, maybe, by a bit of luck too, which isn't to be sneezed at. But the point is, though we can offer advice from afar, all of it well-meant, you're the one on the spot, and only you can decide how to play things. So far, seems to me, you've handled it all admirably. I can't fault a thing you've done or said.
Applause and hugs.
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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No Message Body
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I can only tell you that it is far better to come out. he benefits FAR outweigh the pitfalls for most people. Yes, there are a few people so confused themselves that violence will make them feel as if they are in control of feeling they cannot deal with. However, in most cases I have come in contact with, the pain we influct on ourselves on the inside is far more damaging. smith, I applaud you for coming to the rescue of someone else, it shows your character, and I am sure it will someday be somthing you too will be proud of. Don't give up, you have another fan here. I wish you and your friend that ran, all the best. It pains me that from here, I cannot do more to help.
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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Guest
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On fire! |
Registered: March 2012
Messages: 2344
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I think I might be proud the day my
ribs quit hurting when I laugh, cause
I do love to laugh
You do plenty to help just by being
nice. I figure the world needs all the
nice people it can handle.
smith
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The pride will only come later. My heart aches for you to feel better now. I am so sorry you are in pain. I have been throug "bashing" myself and I wish i could make it better for you now or end the misplaced hatred that you've felt first hand. Please feel better and take care of yourself first, we can work on the rest of the world later.
Huge hugs (but not to tight)
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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You seem pretty nice yourself! I hope I can come close to that.
*smooch*
Kevin
"Be excellent to each other, and, party on dudes"!
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Enough Serious Talk 
I am so proud of you. VERY proud 
I said I hadn't read the replies 
Hug 
