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I haven't told anyone here at the board what's been going
on the past few months.
I was in a bad vehicle accident June 15th. I should be
dead.
The tow truck driver swore it was a fatality until I showed up
taking pictures of my vehicle.
If you want a look, here it is... http://home.woh.rr.com/pacman0236/
Here's the kicker..............................
I wish it was true.
Brian
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13801
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What does a blazer look like before you modify it like that?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Well it's not white like mine, but is the same year and everything.
Brian
-
Attachment: blazer.jpg
(Size: 47.27KB, Downloaded 414 times)
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13801
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That puts it into perspective. Some accident. What happened?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I know Im being dense, but what do you mean "wish it was true"?
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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I was thinking the same thing
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13801
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Brian! wishes that he has been fatally injured in the crash. Not a nice way to go, as he will attest. Far too often fire service personnel have to remove bloody and mangled corpses from cars. He used to be a volumteer fireman.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I caught a rail at a railroad crossing with my right front tire which spun me sideways and being dry pavement (tarmac) the vehicle went right into overturning. The weirdest thing was, was that I watched it all from outside the vehicle. (I know, that couldn't have happened, but I swear I saw the whole wreck like a dream) I told the officer the whole thing and he said he could verify what I said by the skid marks on the road. Weird?
Brian
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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oh my god. those pictures are terrifying to look at. i'm sorry you feel you wish it was true, but i myself am glad it's not. are you doing better?
my void does not want.
-- 2.13.61.
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Aussie
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Really getting into it |
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475
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It seems to me you had a near death or out of body experience but that was a fairly risky (and costly) way to try it. Glad you came back to tell the tale.
Aussie
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Glad you're OK.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I cant say I dont know that feeling and a year ago I would have wished the same thing. In the last 8 months I have changed my outlook on life. Im glad your still with us Brian and hope you will be here for a long time to come.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
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Brian -- my apologies for taking such an analytical approach as the one below. I don't know you (I am sure I remember talking to you, a very long time ago, though) but I wish you well, and hope that things improve.
Aussie said:
>It seems to me you had a near death or out of body experience but that was a fairly risky (and costly) way to try it. Glad you came back to tell the tale.
Well -- with any major event you'll find yourself remembering it over and over again, and before long you'll just be remembering the memories, not the event itself. I remember several things from when I was very small from a position I could not possibly have been in, presumably because it seemed more logical (unconsciously) to place me in a more "adult" position when remembering it. Or perhaps I have been influenced by photographs: the process is the same.
A similar thing can happen in just a few seconds, especially when you see something completely out of the ordinary that takes a while to sink in. In fact, it is easier to do it then, because the memory has to go from the easily accessible short-term memory into long-term storage. While it's still in short-term memory, you may re-live it a few times to try and make sense what happened. Without realising it, you are starting to manipulate your memories, perhaps adding data that you know from another source, perhaps even blocking out those parts that you don't want to remember.
In this case, it is likely as well that the brain flooded itself with hormones designed to help Brian cope with the impact -- which in turn led to something approaching a hallucination.
There is, of course, no such thing as a genuine "out of body experience".
David
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... tell us a bit more about your reasons. We may not be able to help, but quite a few of us, over a wide age range, have survived similar despair. We'll do our best to support you in any way we can.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Not sure what to say. I'm just so tired of so many things.
I could make a list, but wouldn't know where to start.
I guess the the biggest "problem" is being alone. It's not
like I don't try to find someone, I can't tell who is or isn't
(if that makes sence). The ones that I know are, aren't
interested in me.
Other times it's like people are holding me back. "You can do
better than that", "He's not attractive at all", etc.... but I
find them attractive, and give up cause maybe I'm just being
desperate.
I'm not going to do something stupid, it has to happen on it's
own.
Brian
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
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Aussie
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Really getting into it |
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475
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Hi Brian
I am not sure where to start either.
Lets say firstly you are not alone when you can come here whenever you wish. There are any amount of people here who will give you the benefit of their own experiences.
As for finding Mr Right the only person that can decide who is attractive or not is you. It doesn't matter in the slightest what anyone else thinks.
I am sure there are plenty of guys out there who will light your fire. It's just a matter of being out and about until you come face to face. When you make eye contact you will probably know.
Try to lift your thoughts to happy ones because if you are constantly down it shows through in your personality and makes you less attractive to someone else.
Yes I had periods in my life (around 19)when everything seemed to go wrong and didn't think it was worth going on but now I am sure glad I didn't miss the last 40 years and all the great things that have happened.
Its hard to give you any more specific advice because I don't know you or your situation. I am happy to talk more if I can be of any help.
You are in my thoughts, take care.
Aussie
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Hey Brian, at first I was confusing you with the other Brian who posts here. I am glad it was not him but also that you are ok from that wreck.
I had something similar happen about 25 years ago. I had my work van packed with things coming back from an electrical job south of Minneapolis and managed to get into a heavy rain. We slowed down a lot and fell behind the main traffic. When I came upon a part of the highway where it curved to the right and at the same time went over a rise, I found that when the road came back into view over the rise, that all the traffic had come to a stop. Since the road was still wet (rain was still coming down) I couldnt stop and had 3 choices. Go into the median and possibly hit oncoming cars, hit the pickup truck in my lane, or try to get into the right lane where a truck was starting to move ahead. I went for the right lane and ended up skidding out of control as the shock absorbers were all bad. The vehicle was a dodge maxivan with a total weight over 9000 lbs with all the things we had in it. We ended up rolling it about 2-1/2 times in the side ditch of the road. We walked away from it with very minor scrapes. If it had been 100 yards further we would have went down into a big gulch and been killed I am sure.
After that driving was a very scarry experience for me every time the traffic would begin to slow down on the highway. I was rear ended a few years ago because of that and didnt get hurt that time either. Who says there are no guardian angels?
Well I can assure you I know you were extrememly lucky Brian. I know some people who get to accident sites so they tell me how lucky I was too! Take care and maybe we can talk sometime.
Ken
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Hi Brian,
Yes, being lonely can eat you up, can't it? But, remember, you are not alone. You have friends here, and although very few of us can come and hug you, we wish we could. I'm sure that one day Mr. Right will be there for you, but finding him is statistically more difficult than finding Mrs. Right is for the rest of the boys.
Take care, friend!
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