|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
Nigel's post prompted this.
JFR and he have posted thoughts about self image. Let me lay me bare (do get out of the gutter, I am overweight!) in front of you.
I am shy, painfully so. So shy that I have constructed a suit of armour that allows me to function except in social situations. I had to explain to someone dear to me the other day that I do not function well on the phone socially, though I am unfazed by any form of business phone call, even a sales cold call to an unknown! Socially I blunder and stutter (in my head at lest) and have no real idea how to end the call.
My self image throughout school was as The Wimp. I was scrawny, somewhat pathetic and always picked on. I clung to boys I wanted to be friends with, allowing them to bully and hurt me if ONLY they would pay me some attention. Except Martin Busk. He was a real little shit and used to get a form of protection money from me at morning break. [Now THAT will be fun if someone Googles him! Born in 1951/2] I was afraid of him.
I was appalling at ball games, though I tried hard. Thsi did not help my self image at all. I was studious, allegedly, but really all I was good at was school work. And later at sailing.
When I changed school at 13 it was not possible to reinvent myself because almost all of the peole form my prior school came too. I remained a wimp, but now a queer wimp. I was too afraid to tell anyone (justifiable then) and never dared to approach any boys. I know one approached me. I was uninterested. And that leads to the point.
I was an arrogant wimp. I only wanted th epeople I chose aroiund me, not the people who chose me. And I was too shy to get the social things right, so I failed.
Over the years I have lost every friend I had back then except my friend Peter in Australia, my "brother".
What did others think of me?
Hmmmm. When I have remade contact only two have been interested. Ray, who knew I was gay when I was 18 but never cared or said, and Richard, rom school, with whom I have shared a meal and an occasional chat. The rest have shunned me as though I have the plague.
I was, I assume, as gay as a department store window at Christmas, and I assume it showed. I just never knew. No-one has said so, but they reply to an email, I reply to them, and then nothing. Zilch. So I was not the pleasant, happy friendly person I always thought I was, but I was something very different.
University friends? No interest in them at all, and they have none in me. I am an aggressive loner. I have odd emotions over things, or at least unconventional. I don't "grieve right". I really am unmoved by all deaths so far except my creatures, and not all of them.
My self image has affected jobs (I got fired a lot), relationships (I married a girl!), and academic qualifications. But I am not sorry for myself, and I am proud of the things I have achieved.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
When growing up my reality was that of the fag in town. I got the shit kicked out of me alot up until I picked up a chair and clocked out the boy behind me in math class. After that I was officialy the crazy fag.
Oh well, at least I didnt get beat up so much anymore.
When I began puberty I also joined the boy scouts which afforded me a banquet of camp out buddies as well as ample opportunity to get out of the house and away from my mom.... I excelled in all the skills of scouting and as such got to travel on all the long range trips the troop took.... This also got me away from the mom....
At 14 I left grade school and entered high school.... Right from the start I knew I was doomed.... All the older boys I dallied with were there as in wait for me with all the snide remarks and offhanded acts of abuse they could think of....
I tried to take it all in stride but in the 1960's there was not alot of tollerance for anything but the mainstreem.
All thru childhood my next door neighbor, and I were close friends, nothing sexual just friends.... Now that I think of it I am not sure why I never made a move on him.... Well, anyhow, as the high school rumor mill bagan to churn eventualy, as rumor mills do, a bit of the sludge began to slop over the rim. My friend's mother got wind of it and on one fine day as I knocked on his door she answered and ordered me away in a most verbal and unpleasant manner....
This began a long convoluted downward spiral into hospitals, courtrooms, more hospitals, pills, booze and at a point a rope....
I don't realy want to go over all that again, ask Tim and he can direct you to more information about all that happened....
Some months later (9 I think) my grandmother had me released and then I was subsequently placed into a private school. Albeit the administration had to know the details of all the crap previous it took about, oh, 6 nanoseconds for the entire campus to know about every detail about me.
The students shunned me, I was a non-person, at least in public. After hours I was a recepticle for whatever they had in mind either solo or enmass. The instructors were little better and worse for the fact that they turned a blind eye to all sorts of public humiliation.
I did my best to keep things together by throwing myself into my studies and as a result I excelled academicaly.
Ok,,,, That is about all I want to talk about my background....
Now.....
SElf image..... Well, I am full of all sorts of quirks, I am totaly paranoid about answering the phone, but we reciently got a phone that says who is on the line and that has been helping me screen calls for people I feel comfortable enough to talk to. I have no patients for idiocy, stupid people, bad jokes and prejudiced remarks. I absolutly panic if in a crowdwed room. In a restaurant I need to sit near an exit. I find it hard to meet new people. As a result I am perpetually lonely. I never go out to social events although not without trying.... Whenever I have tried in the past it has always turned out badly.
Am I a mess...... Whos to say...... Would I rather be more "normal" socialy.... yes.... But I can not change, I am far too entrenched in the mechanisms that I use to allow me to feel safe.
sigh........
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
First a comment: Timmy you should be very proud of what you have accomplished. This MB has been the salvation of a lot of people, especially young people who have needed the contact and support to try and get true to adult hood and even farther than that. Shy a whimp whatever, there are those here who literally own you their life. I will always be proud your my friend.
I am also very shy, almost to the extreme. The school I attend is very large. It draws students from all over the county. Wheather you are or are not a social animal is hardly noticed. I dont speak and am very awkward in a group. I have my one best friend and I know whatever I tell him wont go any farther than us. Im lousy at team sports, that involves social iteraction so not a good idea. I do like some things that take some degree of talent tho. I am a consumate skateboarder, Im a very good Ice skater and I can swim like a fish. Im very smart and I know it. The teachers at school have drummer that into me. My self image? I have never considered myself good looking altho I have heard girls say im cute. There are a couple of people here who say im adorable and told not to argue. I am a treasure of usless information, In other words trivia. I look in a mirror and I guess what I see is ok, but I have had it beat into me that im different from the others in the family so I must be inferiour. I dont kill helpless animals, so I m not only a whimp, but I cant be a man. The only time I have ever felt good about myself is when I have been here. Ive made my friends and family here and IM proud of each and every one of you. I have decided to attend university in England. I can only hope that when Timmy and I meet I can get around the shyness long enough to say, "Hi Timmy, My name is Brian". It seems that there is something about being gay that causes str8t people to cause us to fear, to feel less than acceptable, so we withdraw so the world cant hurt us. When I first came here i felt worthless and useless and I was scared out of my mind. I had visions of dirty old men wantting to pounce on me or a bunch of cops. I know Timmy can correct me if im wrong, but I believe my first post here was "Is this place really safe?" Thru the months, the answer has been a resouding yes, not only safe but protective. So I feel that this ugly duckling will make it, and maybe, just maybe, become a swan.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My self image... Hmm.
Well, my intended self-image on the internet is no different from how I am in real life. I don't pretend to be anything I'm not; if you're curious, you can find out who I am fairly easily. I think I seem much more outgoing on this board than I would in real life, but I suspect that is an illusion. In other words, *if* I found a place in real life where I felt as secure as I do here, surrounded by people I know pretty well, then I do not think I would behave any differently from how I do here. (Indeed, my prolificacy here fairly closely mirrors my behaviour at school. At first I was reserved and anxious; by the time I left I was very familiar with the routine, sometimes to the extent of being a bit complacent or offhand to other people, because I could get away with it. It's quite common in British boarding schools, but in retrospect I regret it and hope not to do the same here.)
I am pedantic, especially over matters of scientific fact and grammar, in both real life and online. I am sometimes unintentionally rude, and that is something I have to work on both online and offline. I have quite a short temper; ditto.
There are some things that I know I know about, and some things that I do not. I sometimes feel a bit of a charlatan offering advice on relationships -- even friendships -- here, as those people I would call friends are such close friends that I do not need to work on the relationship, and I have never had a romantic relationship. Things like depression (and OCD, but I do not think we have had anyone else with OCD here) I have experience of (though not suicide, thank goodness -- I think the reason I have not is that I am lucky to have a caring family).
Professionally, I know quite a lot about computers, but not enough to call myself an expert (though I'd qualify as an expert amateur, and I have worked as a low-grade professional in the past). I know a little about cinematography, but not enough to qualify as a professional yet. This is perhaps the only arena where I am driven to succeed at all costs, even with people I don't know well. Luckily the subject does not come up very often on this board: mixing one's career with one's social life can lead to friction.
Er -- I'm drifting. Do I have any evidence that my perception of myself is wrong? When I am in the company of strangers (in real life, usually, but it happens online, too) I become very quiet and introverted. I forget all my small talk. I leave as soon as possible. I think an outsider may perceive this as unfriendliness or arrogance. Luckily most people are either outside that boundary (they do not consider me at all) or inside it (they realise that I'm not actually like that). Where I already have a circle of friends, this is not a problem, even when new members enter that circle (like here). I find it a problem, though, when I am trying to form a new one: I don't like to try and "muscle in" on a group, but if I don't do that I'm condemned to being on the edge of it. Next term I have made a resolution that I will throw caution to the wind and try and establish myself when term starts as a new entrant to the LGB society at university. If I leave it to any later, mid-term stage I end up skulking around the edge and never make it to the middle.
Interestingly, the "I am terrified of strangers" thing does not apply if I am secure in my position. As a location manager, one has to go and knock on complete strangers' doors and ask if they would mind awfully if we took over their house/company/street/combine harvester for the day, often without pay. It's not easy, but it's a hell of a lot easier than talking to a good-looking boy, or a friendly-looking girl.
Oh, on the subject of my sexuality -- no-one seems to care in the slightest. "Coming out" has not affected my relationship with a single one of my friends. I was very surprised. I think that my oldest friends knew me too well for it to make any difference (they knew it would not affect my behaviour). They may even have had me pigeonholed as asexual or unsure already; I don't think anyone thought I was gay, but I doubt they had the "this man is as straight as a die" flag set either.
Incidentally, one good friend was very surprised to learn that I post on here (and occasionally other web sites like OUT). It had never occurred to him either that one might have friends on the internet, or friends twice one's age. Before that I sort of assumed that it might be quite evident that I had friends on the internet. Interesting, albeit a minor point.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Aussie
|
 |
Really getting into it |
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475
|
|
|
Brian, by the time I got to the end of your post I had tears in my eyes. I guess they were tears of happiness knowing you have been to the bottom of the roller coaster and are now shooting for the moon.
I am always amazed by your knowledge and how smart you are. I also beleive that with your empathy and caring for others you are destined for greatness in whatever you do. There is no maybe about it, you WILL become a swan.
There is much more I could say but I am going to shut up before you think I am a dirty old man.
Aussie
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I didn't mention my looks (historically I've always been less than impressed), but I've been told to shut up about them in the past. Suffice to say that I've had people try to chat me up who are one and a half to three times my age, but never anyone young (yet). Nor anyone I find terribly physically and intellectually appealing (not geographically close people, I mean). But I no longer discount the possibility -- I think it's my "terrified outsider" attitude that has prevented me from having a relationship, and I'm working on that. (Well, that and being gay and finding that most of the people I'm attracted to are straight.)
David (with an excessive number of annotations)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ive seen your pics, they are tight, shut up
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ive seen your pics, they are right, shut up
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Brian said,
>Ive seen your pics, they are tight, shut up
Are you implying I am drunk in my photographs? Or is this another meaning of the word 'tight'? 
I wish I could say that you're adorable, Brian, but I've not seen a picture of you. Your mind is adorable.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
that was supposed to be "right"
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, Brian -- I assumed 'tight' was an American slang word.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
 |
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
... whether revealing one's self-image to the world (or at least the little bit of the world that finds comfort and friendship here!) is therapeutically beneficial ... but still, I can't resist a challenge!
I've been girding my loins for an age revelation for a few months now, so we'll start with that. I was a war baby (only just) and I'm now 62. I don't like it, but there's nothing I can do about it!
I was born (at a very early age!) to relatively old parents (39 and 40), in a smallish village. This had two consequences - though I'm sure my parents loved me in their way, the age-gap was too large for understanding. Until I rebelled in my teens I was always dressed in old-fashioned clothes, which always embarrassed me, and the rural setting meant that there were rarely any children of my own age to play with. At first there were two, but Pete moved away when I was four, and Dougie moved when I was seven. The rest of the kids were two or three years older, and only two of them ever tried to include me in their activities, though when that happened I was at least tolerated by the rest.
I was, I suppose, average looking; not cute, but not uncute, either. I had some health problems - I was what was described in those days as 'sickly'. Worse than that, I had a slightly-distorted right ankle which made it almost impossible to run - though I could walk normally - and my hand-eye co-ordination was on the low side of appalling. I loved playing games, but I was so useless that I was always the last one picked. And to cap it all, I was intellectually super-bright. In fact, I was in the classic tradition of a geek!
Predictably, my self-image was pretty poor. I became shy and introverted. Almost all of my friends at grammar school were fellow geeks. And, of course, I had decided at the age of 12 or so that I was definitely queer (gay meant happy in those days!) My parents took me to see a Scout Gang Show, and I was immediately hooked. I joined Scouts for somewhat ulterior motives, but the organisation fitted me like a glove. It was also the source of some happy relationships, but - rather to my surprise - I discovered that I had high ethical standards, insofar as the welfare of the troop was always paramount. At 18 I became an Assistant Scout Leader. I found that in the Scouting environment I was full of the confidence which was lacking in the rest of my world, where I was still very much peripheral to those at the centre of things. And, through that confidence, I discovered that I was an extremely good organiser, with the ability to attract others to follow me. I left Scouting when I married at 28, but by then I was a Commissioner. I will forever be grateful for what Scouting did for me.
During this period I passed through university almost as peripherally as I had passed through school. I obtained employment in government service, but was still largely peripheral to the movers and shakers. And then, unexpectedly, I found myself in a managerial role - and within six months I discovered that I had a real talent for leadership. That Scouting experience came in handy! I had a relaxed style, refusing to be addressed as 'Sir' or by my surname, as was usual in those days, but I jumped on the handful who tried to take advantage. Soon I had the happiest - yet most productive - section in the building. Later, I found myself presenting cases at tribunals, and again I found that avoiding pomposity and trying to be understanding paid dividends. It didn't always win cases, but it DID lead to solutions. Yet still I found it hard to be close to anyone apart from a very small nucleus of friends.
I accept that so far I have said more about my personal history than about my self-image, so let me try to put things into context.
Just like Timmy, I need to feel in control before I can handle a telephone conversation. I rarely make social calls and I always feel nervous when I receive them. The shyness borne of my early childhood experience has never left me. I cannot cope with entering a social gathering alone; more than once, I've set out to join a group of friends or colleagues in a pub, but have waited outside for someone I knew to arrive so that we could go in together - and if no-one did arrive, I've gone home rather than go in alone. I am by nature easy-going and I'm not at all aggressive; people who know me tell me that they like and respect me - but, faced with a stranger, I have no confidence whatsoever unless I am protected by my professional persona. Yet when strangers come to me for help, as they quite often do because I have a reputation for helping, I can befriend them in 10 minutes flat. I always expect to lose professional arguments, even though my brain knows that, statistically, I hardly ever do. We humans are very, very complex!
Overall, if I could live my life again there are many things I would do differently; we all benefit from experience. Even so, I'm pretty comfortable with what I am; looking back, I feel that I have had a positive effect on quite a lot of lives - much as Timmy has done by creating this site.
I don't say that to be complacent or self-satisfied; I say it because I want our younger posters to believe - REALLY to believe - that however worthless you may sometimes feel as a teenager (and I've done that in spades!), you really can make a difference to the lives of others. Life has a habit of giving you chances, and if you seize them you can make that difference and make your own life better as a result.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
You know, I didnt realize how hard it would be to talk about yourself. Its hard to look inside and see all your faults and then talk about them. You are one of the smartest people I know, but you are also caring and loving and most of all fair. My world would be so very diminished if you were not here. Some times I worry when I dont see you on for a couple of days. There are others here who immediately miss you when your not around. I hope that you, and the others like you, are here for a long time, so whippersnappers like me can have someone to guide us.
I believe in Karma....what you give is what you get returned........
Affirmation........Savage Garden
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Let’s see. Self image... well I am shy I don’t do small talk to well. I have no idea how to really start a conversation. And most of time I don’t participate in, just listen. I would say I'm not aggressive. And most of my high school friends would agree. Then on the other hand there are a few kids that would disagree with that. Definably the one kid that had took a trip to the hospital, after he passed out. Probably would have killed him if my best friend was not there to punch me in the gut. I never hit the kid I just picked him up be the next and yelled at him I was told you could see where my hand was. I felt so bad but I had no control over me self. Got suspend for 3 weeks, and 1 mouth of alternative school. Luckily the kid’s parents did not press charges. I don't remember what he was doing to me to set me off.
I don't think I'm that good looking. But that’s me; many of girls have asked me out throw high school. But they where missing some thing if you catch my drift.
Smarts, took all adv class except English, until 12th grade. Got out by choice if I was going to be board, I would be board with my friends. And I stopped caring there was no challenge. Most of kids in my class hated me along with every math and science teacher I ever had. Some thing to do with turning home works 5 min after getting it. With no work to show how I got the ans. I told them I did it all in my head. Every year had to prove to the teacher that I was not cheating. The best was when I pissed off my geometry teach she gave us a problem that she had worked on for like the past year and could not solve. I solved it in a week. Come to think of it I never studied for a test, or for a class for that matter.
Was not a nerd I knew almost every one in high school and they knew me, even staff knew me, all though I did not hang with many people after school. By chooses. I said always said I had some thing to do. But now my aim account buddy list has gone from 700's down to 15 in which I only talk to 5 of them, and only if they talk first.
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My original 'self revelation' was intended only to be of some help to Jason, but I am delighted that it has found a greater meaning.
Reading what others have posted makes me think that there are many psychological and emotional characteristics that define us - individually - as belonging to a group. I believe that this could be statistically important, so I suggest that Timmy start a new poll, but this time a very serious one. The elements of the poll would ask us to define ourselves by various psychological and emotional characteristics: we may find a certain pattern emerging (and we may not).
If you think this could be a good idea please respond to this suggestion. If there is agreement (and if Timmy agrees) I do not think that it would be fair to expect Timmy ro concoct the questionnaire (which has to accept yes/no answers). We could all suggest questions and then all he would have to do is to create the poll.
Like all Timmy's polls this one too would be anonymous, of course.
Your reactions, please.
JFR
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
|
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
|
|
|
OK, I've started a new thread for this
I can create as many questions as you need, ALL must have yes/no answers, and there is no "branching logic". It is a flat, one shot poll.
So we can't have "if you answer yes here go to question 7, coz there is only question 1
[Updated on: Wed, 13 September 2006 07:34]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Having read all the posts so far in this thread I realise how much I share little bits of myself with you other posters.
The thing that comes through is that so many of us are basically shy, although we have trained ourselves to overcome this.
I too find it hard to use the telephone socially, although I am quite able to deal with cold callers, all according to my mood, and I have to make calls on behalf of the associations I represent.
David thinks he might be alone with having suffered OCD. I foresaw this happening to me, but was therefore able to combat it before it was too late.
I offer hugs at the end of a post because I can't bring myself to do it in real life.
I feel so unable to come out because friends of mine unwittingly express homophobic attitudes. I suppose that means that I haven't given my secret away.
I received an insight of how people change when I attended a forty year school reunion. I almost didn't go because I had started a course of chemotherapy and so was not on top of the world. What surprised me was that the peer group leaders of yore had become insignificant in the reformed group whereas I who had been on the periphery at school received some attention and people wanted to speak to me. It wasn't as if we'd met in the intervening years - we hadn't. The alpha male, for want of a better term, had grown a moustache which I am told is a sign of wanting to boost the self-image, and was very quiet.
One of my characteristics is that I like to 'get it right' and it causes me grief these days that no matter what you are dealing with it always goes wrong because people in general cannot attend to detail. As a registered grumpy old man I have to mention it and try and put it right. One of these days I'm going to get thumped.
My stories are an attempt to put right the things I got wrong in earlier life.
Hugs
Nigel
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm another basically very shy person - and like many of us I have slowly-and-painfully developed good coping mechanisms to cover this up at work.
I tend to be very unsure of myself socially (and avoid large social gatherings), but professionally I am confident and competent. When I was working, most people saw me as very driven (and I was, although I didn't fully realise it at the time) ... I had to excel, in order to be in a position where I felt that I could demand that others respect me even if they didn't like me.
But I feel as though I've used up all my confidence and competence at work, leaving none for personal stuff. I rarely phone people, partly because I always worry that I'll be interrupting something that is more important than talking to me, and people will resent the call (irrational, I know!). New people and new places terrify me, but I force myself to do it so that things don't get even worse (the first time I attended a specifically gay group workshop on confidence-building, I was so scared that I spent the afternoon at home before the group started, throwing up in the bathroom!). Once I fully commit to doing something, I will see it through regardless of what it costs me ... so I tend to womble around a lot before committing to anything. This goes for real-world friendships as well ! So most people see me as reliable, and more able to do things than I feel entirely comfortable with ... I am occasionally accused of bravery (in the sense of being "out", sticking up for minority viewpoints, doing what I think is right ...), although from the inside I can assure everyone that it is really bloodymindedness !
I do have a few little rituals and things - nothing serious. There are shirts that I won't wear because I suddenly feel that something horrid will happen if I do wear them, things like that. And, unfortunately, I have a horror of the post and opening envelopes. (thankfully, most things can now be done on the net). I'm basically not a suicidal type, although SSRI drugs (often given for depression etc) *do* trigger suicidal ideation in me (it's a well-known possible side-effect), so I'm unable to take them. On the other hand, I was prone to bouts of self-harm ("cutting", although in my case it often took other forms) under long-term stress, from my early teens through to my late forties ... I think that it's now unlikely I'll go back to that.
I'm happy with my body - it's nothing special, but OK. Probably I’m actually happier with it since I became disabled (I have a trashed back and walk with a stick) … it has been really good for my self-confidence that people I’ve met since I became disabled don’t seem put off by it. But when the chronic pain passes a certain threshold it triggers bouts of depression, for two or three days at a time, every six or eight weeks, which is a bummer.
I’m shit at accepting compliments – I try to dismiss them, and if people persist in saying nice things about me I burst into tears. I guess that really says it all about my self-image and self-confidence!
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Professionaly, I was at the top of my game throughout the eighties and on to the late nineties.
I through myself into my work I think as a mechanism to keep my mind off something that happened.....
Just as I did in high school to avoid issues.....
Unfortunately, as things go I eventually screwed up.... His name was Jeremy....
Oh well, enough said about that fiasco....
When the dust settled I decided to go into retirement....
In the future I may go back to what I was doing before.... Maybe not, I kind of like the entrepreneur personna....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
