|
|
jack
|
 |
Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
|
|
|
Some one very close to me is married to some one who I think is alcoholic and a coke user.
In my opinion he has paranoid outbursts, where he will insult the physical looks of his wife, & become abusive to wards the young children.
I feel so hurt that I cannot help; I do not believe this person knows how much he is hurting his family and friends.
In my opinion he is showing the classic signs of both addictions.
Your comments would be appreciated.
Re jack.
life is to enjoy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
|
|
|
Quite a challenge. Why not talk to his wife?
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
If he is abusing his children then you have to call child services.......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
 |
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
Hi, Jack!
I appreciate the difficulty of the situation, but you asked for comments, so I'll give you my thoughts. I hope that they are of some use.
First off, I suggest that you think carefully about the whole issue, and try to separate what you know from what you suspect. I understand just what you mean by feeling powerless, but if you were to act on suspicion alone there's a real chance that you'd do much more harm than good - even if your suspicions are justified.
You suggest that the guy in question is an alcoholic and a coke-user, and that he abuses his wife and kids. Alcoholism isn't a crime, so there's not much you can do there unless he becomes violent and abusive as a result. Abuse of his wife IS a crime, but it's a crime which it's pretty much impossible to bring to prosecution unless the wife herself is prepared to testify. Using coke, or abusing the children, are of course crimes which can be prosecuted on third-party evidence.
So, if it's at all possible, Timmy's suggestion that you should start by talking to the wife is sound advice. But I know that wives can sometimes be irrationally and foolishly defensive of abusive husbands.
The most serious issue is the possible abuse of the kids. Think carefully about what you know, what you suspect and what gives rise to your suspicions. Once you have this sorted out in your head, a good first step would be to ring one of the national charities such as The Children's Society or Childline (Googling will get you their numbers); you can do this anonymously, if you like, and you should get good advice - certainly better advice than I could give. Marc's right; if there's a real possibility of abuse, whether physical or psychological, you should follow it up by seeking advice from the professionals - but I think it would be wise to do as I suggest before making any formal approach to you local children's service.
That leaves us with the coke-using. To do anything about that, you would need evidence - evidence of possession at the very least. I HATE drugs, and have seen the harm they can do, but here you're talking about someone close to you, and you need to be careful, or the whole issue might blow up in your face. You could become the villain of the piece, and that wouldn't do anybody any good. From what you say, it seems that there's a wider family involved; how about talking to them first - not (at first) about doing anything about it, just to test the water and find out how they feel?
At the end of the day, though, it's for the wife to decide what she is prepared to put up with; if she's willing to continue as she is, you can't do more than try to persuade her that she's wrong. But you, and the rest of those who know about the situation, have a duty to protect the kids if you feel that they need protection. It would be better to do this with other members of the family, but if you have to go it alone then, if you feel that the kids are suffering, that would be the right thing to do.
I hope that there's something among my thoughts which can help you!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
jack
|
|
Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
|
|
|
Hi Cossie,
thanks or your views most helpful.
The abuse is all mental but not constant, all caused through sudden outbursts.
I will sound out one of his close friends, thanks for your advice.
Re jack.
life is to enjoy.
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
