|
|
|
|
On Sunday when I went to fetch my newspaper I saw a cute boy. Late this afternoon driving off somewhere I saw him again.
Just thought you'd like to know.
Hugs
Nigel
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Lucky you, Nigel!
I've started stalking someone at my university through Facebook (no -- not seriously; I mean I've looked at his profile) whom I do not know but I am 99% certain is gay or at least bisexual (he came to the first LGB society meeting, but I haven't seen him since). This is causing problems because I really have no idea how to establish contact, whether it would be appropriate to establish contact (he's only eighteen), and what to do if he doesn't come to an LGB society thingy and/or if he is entirely engaged doing something else. He is also apparently in a relationship, which doesn't help, according to Facebook. A mildly interesting situation.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
 |
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
... at your age, two excitements in one day can be DANGEROUS. Apart from anything else, it could deflect your attention from a potentially explosive haggis!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
|
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
All you need is a deerstalker hat, a Meerschaum pipe and a suite of rooms in Baker Street (cue Gerry Rafferty!).
Seriously, though, I assume that it shouldn't be too difficult to identify his courses, and in turn the times and places where you have a good chance of bumping into him.
I'll offer the same advice I've offered others before - the first step is to meet him, and that isn't inappropriate. The second step is to find common ground, to give you a chance to meet again, and THAT isn't inappropriate. The third step involves waiting a while. If it's clear that he's in a committed relationship, it would be selfish to try to break it up - as you would rapidly find if your situations were reversed! But if you become friends and the previous 'relationship' doesn't seem to intrude, then it wouldn't be inappropriate to try to take the relationship further. I'm absolutely committed to the principle that successful sexual relationships grow out of friendship. Very occasionally, the reverse can be true, but it's very much more the exception than the rule.
I know you don't have much, if any, experience - but that isn't as much of a problem as you think it is. If you can control your urge to worry (and I accept that isn't easy!) you'll find it's a bit like chucking a new-born baby into a swimming pool. Somehow, instinct takes over!
My fingers are crossed for you! - and, believe me, that can cause difficulties!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hey everybody,
thanks for the encouragement, but I'm 61 for heaven's sake with several decades between us. I've only got boy-watching and exploding haggises left for thrills. I'm easily pleased.
And I don't think this cutie is in the least bit gay.
On the first encounter I think he realised I was checking him out **blush**.
Hug
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
timmy
|
 |
Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
|
|
|
use facebook and say "hi"
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
There was a soccer tournement on the cape this past weekend and there were 4 teams housed in our hotel.....
The pool was like a big bowl of cute boy soup.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ah, but if I've got no reason to talk to him except that I am gay and he is possibly gay... well, (a) where do you go from there? and (b) he might think I was just trying to get into his pants. Which is not totally true...
I will see if he is around tonight at the LGB society meeting.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
and u did not call me i am hurt.
LOL
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
If you continue to just sit there and think of excuses not to talk to him you never will....
So........
The first thing to do is to decide what you really want to do.....
A) Talk to him.....
or
B) Continue to make excuses not to talk to him.....
Lets assume you choose (A)..... First research your subject.... What courses does he take? What sports might he enjoy? Does he frequent any particular cafe's, pubs, fast foods, parks, gyms????? How about the school library?????
Become aware and knowlegable of some aspect of him that you can relate to in casual conversation.....
Once you have a toe hold on something then it is time to take action.....
Start with.........
well, lets see.......
OK........
How about ....... HELLO...
He will more than likely respond with something like .......
Hello...
Once the give and take of the opening hello's are out of the way it is then your turn to respond with a prepared comment about whatever subject you have previously chosen as an in-road to success.....
Do not make the comment, statement, question too involved....
In dating the KISS method is most important.....
in other words.... KEEP IT SIMPLE STUPID.....
keep it general with no specific answer in mind that might be totaly negative..... "this coffee is good for a fast food place" or "I like the catsup but the pickles are too sour"
something generic and casual in nature... the kind of thing you might say to a perfect stranger as a matter of casual conversation....
Once your forst contact has been made then let the continuance of further conversation defer to your intended target of apparent affection.......
If no further conversation ensues then just casualy extricate yourself with a pleasant smile and a "have a good day" parting comment.....
The next time your paths cross (no more than 3 days hense) be ready with another casual comment..... be sure it is not the same as the one you used on the first meeting as this tact will prove to be fatal as far as blooming relationships go......
On this second interlude, be ready with a second more friendly comment to follow his reply to your first opening statement.....
on the most basic level, conversation should begin to flow if only a trickle.....
There is a second method but I do not think you are suited to the directness of going up to him and politely asking if he would be willing to participate in a friendly if altogether satisfying evening of good food, sweet wine, pleasant music, the glow of a warm fire and a nice solid screwing for desert.....
Sigh.......
Oh, if you DO opt for the second option, do NOT FORGET to warm the lube and mix in a small drop of oil of cloves..... it is absolutly wonderful....
[Updated on: Thu, 12 October 2006 14:51]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ProfZodiac
|
 |
Likes it here |
Location: United States
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 115
|
|
|
This is what the 'poke' function is for. Poke the guy, he'll check out your profile, if he pokes back, then you message him, I guess.
Seriously, when it comes to Facebook, there are a few ways to do it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
A good suggestion.
I think the ideal thing would be if I can get someone at the LGB society to introduce me tonight, if he's there. It may take some doing as I'm the sort of person to avoid confrontation.
If that happens, then it would be perfectly natural to add him as a friend on Facebook, or poke him, or whatever.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
...for diverting the thread -- "cute boy" could apply to one of any number of cute boys, and as I had just come across one on Facebook and a thread appeared with the right title, I couldn't resist posting.
David
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Over to plan B... which is, apparently, to poke him on Facebook.
He wasn't there today. On the plus side, I met lots of lesbians. Some of them are even quite attractive. Hmm...
David
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
