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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Butjust sometimes there are friends you can't tell that you are gay. But I hate having to pretend that girls on TV are attractive, etc, out of politness. And yet some people would freak. The probem is that the longer it goes on the harder it is to come out.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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If I had to find attractive every person that everyone else "expected" me to find attractive (regardless whether it's a man or a woman) then I wouldn't count as either gay or straight. I'm pretty picky over men; very so over women (there is the occasional woman that I find reasonably attractive). Normally I just say, "No, I don't think s/he's attractive," and that's that. It may be because I find it almost impossible to lie -- I assume that other people find it easier not to stick their necks out.
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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timmy wrote:
> Butjust sometimes there are friends you can't tell that you are gay. But I hate having to pretend that girls on TV are attractive, etc, out of politness. And yet some people would freak. The probem is that the longer it goes on the harder it is to come out.
If a girl is attractive then she is attractive..... her attractiveness has nothing to do with my or your or anybody being gay.....
If you want to come out then come out..... if not then don't....
But certainly the girl will be just as pretty if you go either way.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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I've got quite a number of friends, including three very close friends, who have no idea that I'm gay, and I haven't the slightest urge to enlighten them. I did think about it when my initial 'coming out' process was under way, but I came to the conclusion that my orientation simply wasn't relevant to our friendship.
On the other hand, I never make a pretence of finding women attractive, and I do argue the gay corner if the topic comes up for decision. It doesn't seem to arouse any suspicions, though I may be helped by my reputation for espousing left-wing causes!
As a general principle I see a clear distinction between 'pretending' and simply not referring to my orientation. It goes further than that; some of the best friendships I have made have arisen from a common interest and have grown into firm friendships before we discovered anything about each other's family background or profession.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Pretty is pretty  I like pretty girls.
This was raunch. And there lies the difficulty. Red blooded macho str8 guy has to like girls in thongs bending away from the camera. But, frankly, I would rather visit the meat counter at the butcher's if I want to see that.
The friend and neighbour is red blooded macho str8 guy, and is terrified of homosexual men. He spent his teenage years on the swim team with somewhat older boys.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I don't think there's an obligation to find girls in thongs in the slightest bit attractive. I certainly never said I did, and no-one ever twigged I was gay.
If your neighbour is terrified of gay people, it's not your problem: it's his. I wouldn't bend over backwards to prevent him from having to consider that not everyone has the same range of attractions as him. (That doesn't mean I would necessarily come out to him, but I would certainly not lie and pretend that girls on TV are attractive when they clearly aren't.)
David
[Updated on: Sat, 14 October 2006 12:18] |
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... that, in some company, bending over backwards can be almost as dangerous as bending over forwards!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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