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Journey, by ~Josh~  [message #37763] Fri, 27 October 2006 11:27 Go to next message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



Look for Another day waiting,
Past the street lights, ever going fast asleep
Get in your car, have loads of fun, as you drive away, beneath and under the sun

Get out more often, see what you can d
Take some pills, in case you get your attitude,
to The extreme, its only mean,
if you cant have fun, your world hasnt begun...

And be free,
Free so you can dance,
Free so you can laugh your way across another day,
Still alughing,
Have some fun, your world has just begun,
Take a moment, enjoy the rainbows, clashing down,
your out of town, and your not going back..

Take a moment, take a breathe
Set yourself up and relax, in that brand new chair,
its comfortable here, beneath the earth, inside where you are,
coming back with roses for me,
i wish that you and i could someday be,
not far apart, we'll wait till dark, to explore, what we dont know and

You will see,
See a different part of me,
See another part, so we dont have to go
When it gets dark,
And you'll be on your way, into another sleepless day,
Take a moment, take a drive,
Cause your half-way to paradise...

Now that your here, in this moment in time,
take a chance, dont let it slip you by, and
Come closer, let me see, the beauty, thats inside of you and me..
So let us be free

Deep inside the Heartless showers,
rainclouds and empty hours,
Theres only you, theres only me,
Deep, together, in this for love..

And we will Love...



21.

Love who you want to.

~Josh~
Re: Journey, by ~Josh~  [message #37772 is a reply to message #37763] Fri, 27 October 2006 23:27 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Aussie is currently offline  Aussie

Really getting into it

Registered: August 2006
Messages: 475



I guess you are looking for a bit of feedback on this one Josh.
I must say it didn't do as much for me as 'The Moon' mainly because it was too confusing.
Did you listen to music whilst you were composing it and did the words flow out easily or did you have to think a fair bit about them?

I did a bit of messing around with the bits I like and came up with this

>Now that your here, in this moment in time,
>take a chance, dont let it slip you by, and
>Come closer, let me see, the beauty, thats inside of you and me..
>So let us be free

>And be free,
>Free so you can dance,
>Free so you can laugh your way across another day,
>Still alughing,
>Have some fun, your world has just begun,
>Take a moment, enjoy the rainbows, clashing down,
>your out of town, and your not going back..

You might like to mess around further along these lines and perhaps call it Free or something similar.

Good luck
Aussie
Re: Journey, by ~Josh~  [message #37813 is a reply to message #37772] Sat, 28 October 2006 14:20 Go to previous message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



this is Free poetry^^

tho some of the lines rhyme, i think its 'free' poetry.

i came up with the words, and i could hear one of my fav bands singing it as i was writing it.

its a little out of the ordinary for me to write something thats this long. lol.

thanks for your comment Ausse^^

~Josh~



21.

Love who you want to.

~Josh~
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