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Knowing that Brian's health is sometimes problematic I find the fact that he has been away from the message board for some time and that no one knows why he is away to be very troubling. (Maybe that's because I'm a parent, like many others here.)
I, too, am someone who has health problems, sometimes serious. There are two people who regularly visit this board who know how to contact me or my family by phone, if necessary.
I would strongly recommend all people who post here regularly to have at least one other person, someone that they can trust implicitly, who would know how to contact them by phone if necessary.
It is very difficult to be in constant contact with people when we visit this message board and not feel attached to them - at least to the extent that we rejoice in their happiness and worry about them when something may have gone wrong.
I, of all people, know all about 'privacy' and the need for discretion. But I have found people here whom I can trust. There are four people who visit this message board (or lurk) who know everything that they need to know about me - and I about them. I find that very comforting.
Just something for others to think about.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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An excellent post, JFR. Definitely something to think about. Thanks.
David
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Yes, there are people here that care enough to get close enough to make a difference in a persons personal life....
Yes, there are people here that try to care enough but are pushed away so no effect can happen one way or the other....
And yes, there are people here that could disapear and no one would notice...
To some what you say is a tonic.... It makes them feel good to be a part of your life.... To be part of ..... well....
nevermind...
[Updated on: Tue, 14 November 2006 15:59]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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well said mark.
life is to enjoy.
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Marc, I may have misunderstood your intention. What I write below is a response to what I think you said.
No one here ever pushed themselves close to me; it was always I who made the first approach. I so clearly remember my first email to Timmy. At that time my then ISP gave us our telephone number as our address. Timmy did not know this, of course, and he wrote back to me that "that is one hell of an email addy". And that's where our friendship began.
Another person here wrote something about "being a coward" because of a certian reason: that rang such a bell with me that I wrote to him. We discovered how much we had in common and we have been very close ever since.
I could give more examples. It seems to me that if one wants people to be closer one must make the first move. All decent people will respond warmly.
Just my twopennyworth.
Hugs.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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For some people, making that first move is a very difficult thing. Some people panic at the thought of opening a conversation by way of E-Mail.... Some people go through severe distress at the thought of answering a telephone let alone dialing someone directly. Some people when attempting to better themselves find the walls crushing in and no place to hide when going out to register. Some people can not do some things simply because they are afrade, of what people might think, of what might happen if they let their guard down, of where to run and hide.
It doesn't matter..... Some people get used to it.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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For some people..... this is the best they can do.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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This is just a word of explanation about the the contact problem with Brian. Those who were with us at the time will remember that I was the first to try to get close to Brian when he began to post. Part of my approach was to initiate daft exchanges on stupid topics; the first began on an initially sad thread, when he commented that he'd "... been there, done that, got the T-shirt - twice!". I accused him of being a sad person if he had two identical T-shirts, and the nonsense went on from there. Some of these exchanges were a bit salacious, and provoked the suggestion from at least three individuals that my behaviour was inappropriate. I'm not blaming them; it could be seen that way, though my only objective was to make him feel a part of our community - if indeed we are a community.
At that point, I had never had any contact with Brian except on the board. Thereafter, for reasons I need not explain here, I did begin to exchange e-mails, roughly once a week. When the allegations were made, I said in one post that I did love Brian very much - but only in the way a caring grandparent might love a rather special grandchild; thereafter, Brian often referred to me as 'grandfather'; it's not really a joke - we do have that kind of relationship, and I do love him - very much - in that way.
But I took the 'inappropriate' suggestions seriously, and although I know a fair amount about Brian, including the name of the city nearest to his home, I have never asked, and have discouraged him from offering, his address. That way, there could be no doubt that I had no ulterior motives. It worked fine until the car accident, when the loss of contact worried me a great deal. I had reached the point of suggesting that he might arrange for one of his close friends to e-mail me if anything untoward happened - but the e-mail is probably awaiting his return from his road trip!
This post may seem unduly long (so what's new, I hear you ask!) but I just wanted to make the point that, although I already have emergency report arrangements with a couple of other posters, this IS a place of safety and it's not always appropriate to attempt to influence our younger posters. For me, they are an absolutely vital part if this place and I'd hate to scare anyone away.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Don't mind me....... I had a harrowing experience yesterday while registering for classes...... As I turned a corner I was innundated with a massive gaggle of college students exiting from class. I went right into panic mode and found a bench to hide on until all the tourmoil passed.
Today..... I had to make a shedload of telephone calls in an attempt to track down my school transcripts. After about 35 years one forgets all the pleces they are kept.....
My point is..... I hate using the telephone..... with an undying passion I hate the telephone..... Alexander Grahame Bell was a spawn of the devil...... and his device a tool from hell.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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