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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Well, for the second semester in a row I'm preparing an interview with my University's Unsatisfactor Progress Committee. Last semester I only passed 1 out of 4 subject and this semester I failed all 4. It's hard not to feel down about it. It's my own stupid fault. I hate being a failure almost as much as I hate being mediocre.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Saben,
I'm sorry to hear that. You don't strike me as mediocre: you strike me as intelligent and literate.
Why do you think you've failed your subjects so far? Is the work difficult? Do you not enjoy it? Do you do a lot of ex-curricular activities?
Sometimes it's just a bad choice of course. I didn't enjoy my first go at university at all, but the one I'm on at the moment has enough moments to make it worthwhile.
David
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Since you are not stupid something has happened to cause this. If you are failing you need to identify why you are failing, and correct it at once.
If you don't understand the subject jmatter then universty will help you, but ONLY if you ask it. Tutors do not teach, they simply attend. So you have to be proactive.
If you have other challenges then Student Welfare is the place to go before the interview.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Second semister????? Well shit happens....
What you need to do is step back and look hard at your course load. Too often students delude themselves into believing college courses are relativly easy and end up over loading themselves with work.
Never take more than the minimum required credit hours (if possible).
Always opt for a fluff course to lighten the load.
Never take both a history or humanity course along with a literature course. This will lessen the reading load somewhat.
But my best advice is to focus. Full time college requires concentration. Romance, nightlife, partying all have to be put aside while in class mode. Also, study study study study study study.
And when you think you have studied enough..... study some more.
If I can help, let me know.......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Sometimes we get ourselves into situations only because someone else expected it of us and it was not what we really wanted to do. Is that perhaps your situation? Was it simply expected of you that you would be in the university? Or was it something you really wanted to do?
I had a similar situation in my first session at the Univ of Minn way back in 1957 and found myself almost failing a math course although math had been my strongest subject in high school. I realized that my heart was simply not in this and I had not studied hardly at all when the courses were actually more demanding than in high school. We all need to have motivation and in my case, I at least realized it was lacking that fall. I stayed out of school for the next few months after having another major disappointment and went on to join the Navy and get into their special programs. I took the test for the Naval Scientific Education Program and ended up with a far better deal than I ever would realize thru the NROTC scholarship I had missed out on. (my major disappointment that year). Life goes on you know so you must sit down and sort out your priorities. Have something in mind when you talk with that Progress Committee and be ready to tell them how you will mend this and get back into the flow of things at the university.
I would really advise strongly with having you give up and quit the university. Try to find a way to redeem yourself if that is possible and take a couple of subjects and make an effort to do well in them. You must have had the ability to do the work or you wouldnt have been allowed in there in the first place, so it is really up to you now.
Let me know how you do and if it would help to talk in private about this, please dont hesitate to find me on msn or aim or skype. lectroken on Aim and electroken@hotmail.com on msn
Ken
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ouch my friend... what happened to you? you just don't strike me as the same guy i talked to when you were in Japan anymore... I can't believe its the case that the course is too hard for you, you're a smart guy, whats the reason behind it? do you still have no motivation for anything, or is it something more?
*hugs*
Aden
Odi et amo: quare id faciam, fortasse requiris.
Nescio, set fieri sentio et excrucior
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Hey, Kiddo.
Take a breath and relax. Take a moment to reflect. I know that you have trouble at times, as we all do, but look down the road and see where your path is leading you. Is it where you want to go? Is it what you want for Ryan? Find your motivation and your needs and your desires and take them back. Where did that optimistic, overachieving, goal-centered guy with the quick wit and even temper go to? I think that he's still in there, scared a little by the turns his life has taken, but still hanging in there.
It is time to take back that guy. You are still all the people you ever were, and all the things you ever were. You have to realize that some things aren't your fault. You also need to seriously take responsibility for the things that are your duty, to yourself as well as to your family and your boyfriend. It is time, Cub, to aim at the stars again and shoot with all you have.
You have my support, you know that. I think a lot of your friends support you as well. I know that things have drastically changed in your life since Japan, but the world has turned for us all, my friend. Remember the past fondly, hold true to those that truly love you, and take back that courage to go forward. Find your dreams and your path and make them yours again. You CAN do it. I have faith in you. So do so many others, my Little Brother.
As a side note, and I know I'm early for this, Happy Birthday! May you have many more! Give Ryan a big hug from me and take a few for yourself as well.
The thing about falling off the horse, is not letting it step on you as you get back on. Take back your Horse, Brumby. We are all waiting to see the great things in your future. Show us the way.
Love ya, Kiddo. Happy Birthday!
Cya on the other side, Robby, aka, the big bad woof
It's not the wolf you see you should fear, but all the ones he howls with. Don't be afraid of the song, but don't piss off the choir.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Thanks for the replies so far. I've been to see my councellor and he's going to be helping me through this. It's just, laziness, or unmotivation, or depression. I guess it is depression but I hate to think that I am using that as an excuse for my own laziness and failings. Where is the line between depression and being lazy when you feel shit? Lots of people feel shit but are able to keep on going.
It's my own fault I failed this semester, and basically it was an issue of attendance. I can't expect to pass when I only go to 20% or less of my classes. I did manage to pass one subject last semester with only attending 2 tutorials, but that's because I was able to listen to the lectures online.
I struggle with perfectionism but not in the sense that everything has to be perfect, but more in the sense that everything has to be "stand out", at the least. I know I need to set smaller standards for myself, aiming for 80% in my subjects when I don't leave the house 80% of the time is a bit lofty, I guess.
Despite my relationship I've been very isolated, my sphere of socialisation pretty much revolves around Ryan, his family and friends, as well as my online friends in World of Warcraft. Speaking of which I don't think it is the game that is to blame, I have gone week at a time without playing it, but rather than have that as a distraction I find other distractions. I watch TV, I go for a walk along the beach, I read books, I do everything but go to Uni.
In the past I've never been the type of person to get anxious or stressed, but this last semester thinking about going to Uni does actually make me feel anixious and even physically a little off. I never used to care what people thought, but more and more I'm paranoid about what people will think if I do show up to a class after missing 4 weeks of it in a row. I know logically that they wouldn't give a shit, but emotionally I struggle to accept that.
I'm just too good at selling myself and getting myself out of the shit. Last semester I was able to breeze through the UPC easily, just coming up with bullshit about location (I was moving house), bad subject choice and other crap like that. I avoided all the real issues, the mental/ emotional ones that were causing the real problems. A second time at UPC and I'm gonna be a lot less likely to skate through. I've got my councellor for support this time, but few people are able to get a full time re-enrollment approved the second time. I'm just hoping that they at least let me stay there part time.
Sorry if this was a little disconnected, my thoughts at the moment are.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Re: Kicked out of Uni? 
