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dyllbrad
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 34
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I expect simple behaviours here. Friendship, and love.
Any advice should be from the perspective of the person asking, not the person giving!
So much is here. help, advice, deep discussions, freedom to do anything except "JUDGE", "INSULT" anyone or flame them
If you have something to say, break the ice and say it. This place thrives on discussions, even hugely controversial ones.
Please use care and charity when you discuss here, and realise that absolutes are unlikely despite your or my certainty in them.
you know who you are !!!!!!!
this should also extend to the people sending emails too people from off this chat board
you might have noticed two people not posting latey i wonder why
dyll's jac's cousin brad is my boyfriend...
so wat if i kissed another boy in class and got caught
(THIS MAY WELL BE OUR LAST POST)
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I'm deeply sorry to hear that you have had unpleasant e-mails.It would be great pity if it puts you off posting here in future - can't you just block mails from the offender(s)? I for one would certainly miss the group of you!
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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dyllbrad
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 34
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were not the ones receiving them but some one closer had a (*who*)whole board topic against them in a round about way :'-(
* edit word removed
[Updated on: Fri, 29 December 2006 01:47]
dyll's jac's cousin brad is my boyfriend...
so wat if i kissed another boy in class and got caught
(THIS MAY WELL BE OUR LAST POST)
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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I don't know who has been saying what to whom, but I don't think that off-board (or indeed on-board) speculation really helps anyone. Neither do I know for sure what this is all about, but I think I can make a pretty good guess. If I'm right, I hope what I say will help; if I'm not right, I apologise for jumping to conclusions - but I still hope that what I say will help Dyll & Co to understand the problems which can arise.
My guess is that this concerns Jay and Jac, and that the e-mails are concerned with verifying Jac's existence.
Let's start at the very beginning - a very good place to start! Message Boards, and other forms of internet communication, are great. They allow us to 'talk' with a world-wide community and, for some people, they are pretty much a life-line allowing them to escape from loneliness. But they do have one big disadvantage; until you meet someone in real life, you have no way of knowing whether they are who and what they say they are. There have been examples here of posters who turned out to be much older than they claimed to be, or to be of a different gender, or to be potential predators when they claimed to be youth workers.
Except in the case of a predator, it doesn't really matter too much, until and unless two people develop a deeper relationship with each other. When that happens, it can be shattering for one party to find that the other is not what he pretended to be. I can't be more specific without breaking confidences, but imagine you are 18 and find yourself falling in love with another 18-year-old living three or four hundred miles away - only to discover that he's actually a guy in his early fifties living less than ten miles away. You're going to be pretty badly hurt!
So what happens when we see relationships developing between younger posters? In principle, it's great! But in view of what's happened in the past, some posters obviously worry. What I think happened is that Jay has been posting for a few months, and most of us like him a lot. When Jac arrived, things moved pretty quickly. There was some suggestion that Jay was going to come to the UK to be with Jac. That's quite a step to take, and though - as I've said - I don't know who said what to whom, there was obvious concern that Jay might end up getting hurt.
No-one was judging Jac - there hasn't been any sort of anti-Jac campaign - but some of the things Jac & Co have said in their posts have seemed (at least in the British context) a little odd. Of course, that could simply be because they are American - but it made people worry about Jay, who was investing his heart and his pocket in his trip to the UK.
Much of this to-ing and fro-ing took place while I was away from the board for a couple of weeks before Christmas. When I realised what was happening, I sent one e-mail to Jay - my only contribution on the subject - explaining briefly what I have said above - saying that if it would help set his mind at rest I'd be happy to drive down to Manchester to take Jac, Dyll and Brad out for a meal. Jay didn't reply - maybe he was pissed off by then.
I hope this makes the picture clearer. I say again that nothing that has happened was 'anti-Jac'; it was all sparked by worries that Jay might be hurt. I don't know what has happened since I e-mailed Jay, but I get the impression that there is still some strain. I hope that no-one is sending insulting e-mails to Jac, because that won't help either Jac or Jay.
If there's anything I can do to help, you only need to ask. I think I'm well enough established here to be trusted. The free meal is still on the table if you want it (I know there's no such thing as a free lunch, but this would be a free evening meal!), or, if Jay and Jac trust me enough, Jac could give me sufficient information about himself to enable me to verify his existence. Everything he told me would be in confidence, but I'm pretty sure that if I said that I was satisfied, everyone else would accept my conclusion.
I don't wan't anyone to leave; you all brighten up the board with your posts. I guess I'd just love to see Jay and Jac together, happy, and wandering off into the sunset!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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thanx for the concern dylls and brad
cossie thanx for ur reply means a lot to me
Jay, I love u. You are my heart and my soul.
You are my other half. The final piece to my puzzle. I am complete when I am with you.
You turn a dark day into a bright sunny day.
You make me giddy with joy.Just from hearing your voice.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Assuming you are right, cossie, your message hits the spot totally. Jay and Jac are both aware that I hold the same view as you. I have, after all, spoken to both. Like each of them I will have no conclusion until I meet either of both of them. When the party arrives in London there is a meal on me, too. 
Now, let's be totally clear. This does not mean that I disbelieve anyone. It means that I also take care, especially where our younger and apparently more vulnerable members are concerned. And with Jay's investment of his heart and his wallet in a trip to England I asked him to be certain. I could also have asked Jac, but Jac was not the one making a long trip, so had less to lose if it proved to be not what was expected.
And I started the thread about knowing whether people were who or what they said they were. That thread often pops up in one form or another.
We have many unusual people here. Why on earth would we all be, in real life, as we seem online? Here we live somethikng of the lives we wish to lead. And here is just like anywhere. We have had predators in the past.
I don't care whether the person I am talking to turns out to be 15 or 90, nor whether they are male or female. I don't care whether they are gay or str8. I only care if people are in real or perceived danger of heartbreak.
And where does this leave Jay and Jac?
Assuming they are still in love with each other, which I hope they are, and assuming they still love each other when they meet, this leaves them precisely where they were before, with one important exception: They know for sure that others also care about them.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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That upsets me, but perhaps not for the reason you think.
I am upset that the behaviour of other people shoudl have sufficient inluence to make you believe you should stop posting. It is wrong to allow anyone else to control your actions, and by "not posting" you are allowing that to happen.
If you choose not to post for yourself/selves then that is fine. But do not ever allow anyone else to control your decisions in this way.
My own position here is simple. I am happy when people join and sad when they leave. But I do not often welcome new people, nor do I often say farewell to those going. I do not plead with people to stay, either. I just ask that each decision is made for the right reasons.
I can only influence what happens on the board. What happens off it must be between individuals.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Whatever happens on the board..... well.... happens on the board....
Everything else is.... well.... elsewhere....
Actually, most everything is elsewhere....
Hmmmmm.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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pity some people ignore this rule 
Re: pity some people ignore this rule 
