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Sunflowers on a grave..
Was it not enough?
My imperfections grew on you,
so you said,
with every glance you shared with me...
Lust or love...
You decide...
Playing in the meadows,
Holding hands, belonging with you..
Or so I thought, neieve as I was..
A fool, tho think it could be possible..
yet, even thinking what I thought was pointless..
Running through my mind,
I sleep at night, thinking these thoughts...
Nothing is as it seems,
Yet, there is always something different,
a small ray of light that attracts us..
pointing me in the right direction...
Tell me again...
Love..
or Lust...
Would you rather I strip for you,
get on my knees and beg for it...
What is it you want from me?
Can I do enough, anything for you?
What do you want?
Why do you toy with my emoions?
I'm a small boy.. only 18...
thinking, thats not a lot of years of living...
I have yet to experience the thing some people call love...
I ask again..
Love.. or Lust...
Decide tonight...
Let your mind not wander downward,
your eyes looking at my flesh...
Dirty..
Simply dirty...
yet, with a mind like yours,
what does one expect...
Put your arms around me...
As you do, I scream,
wanting, yet not..
Wanting Out...
I am trapped...
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Josh, this is very good. Im sure it has made more than a few of us remember being 18 and being full of uncertanty. We learn by our mistakes and along the way we stumble and fall. There are those tho, who will always be with you and one who will be your most trusted and best friend. He will lift you up, never critisising, never asking why and always being a shoulder to lean on and hold you up. Love and friendship go hand in hand. You will begin to know when its lust or friendship and love. Keep writting, you remind me of how much young gay boys go thru and all the uncertainty. Here, thanks to Timmy and his friends efforts there is a place a young man can come to and get answers and never told to "go away, your too young".
[Updated on: Tue, 24 April 2007 00:24]
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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thanks Roger^^
You know, when I first told my mom I was gay, she asked me if I knew what being gay meant. and I said no, but I thought I did. She said 'it means you like to have sex with guys.' thats exactly what she said. I still remember it, even tho it was so long ago. lol. anyway, thanks for commenting^_^ i appreciate it^_^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Such a common thing, one boy in love the other in lust - and when someone reduces you to a sex toy then they rob you of your humanity. You may know that you are nothing but an object to them but you don't care. You want them badly enough that you will accept them on whatever terms they dictate to you. Eventually you will grow to hate them and the relationship will be over - but not before you learn to hate yourself for allowing yourself to be used. It doesn't take many relationships like that before you lose all value of self and see yourself as only good enough to be a lust object. Then depression turns to despondency.
Sometimes we just need to force our minds to take charge of our emotions - to take a relationship slowly. If the other person is in a hurry to get you into bed, question their true motives and feelings for you. It is not wrong to place limitations on a relationship. If the other person has real feelings for you then they will accept your restrictions. If all they want is sex then they will soon tire of the game and search elsewhere. You've not lost a friend or potential lover, you've just avoided heartache.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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