A Place of Safety: General Talk » Our Little Secret

Show: Today's Messages :: Show Polls :: Message Navigator

Our Little Secret [message #42156]

Sat, 28 April 2007 23:25

Teddy

Really getting into it

Location: USA
Registered: October 2006
Messages: 484

Hello All,

It's been a while since I've posted here, but wanted to stop by and mention a book written by a UK acquaintance of mine. The book is titled "Our Little Secret" authored by Duncan Fairhurst and published by Hodder & Stoughton. It is his horrific story of sexual abuse at the hands of his father.

Many of you in the UK are probably aware of this publication, but we here in the US are not because it has not been released here yet. My understanding is that it is at or near the top of the Times best seller list there in the UK. I ordered a copy through Amazon.co.uk and although quite graphic in places, it has been a riveting read.

The specter of sexual abuse and it's devastating impact on the lives of it's victims is one that gets surprisingly little press because it is one of the "hidden crimes" of society. Thankfully that is changing, but the change is coming slowly. Thanks to men and women such as Duncan and other's who have the courage to tell their story in all it's horror, that change is happening.

I write this because I, too, am a victim of childhood sexual abuse, and I'm tired of remaining silent. This is so wrong! In the US 1 in 4 females and 1 in 6 males are sexually abuse before they reach the age of majority. Those are well documented facts.

If you have been sexually abused, there are 3 things I'd like to share with you.

1. It was not your fault! Nothing you did caused you to be taken advantage of in that despicable way. Sexual abuse is ALWAYS the fault of the abuser and can NEVER be the fault of the child or teen.

2. You are not alone! You have brothers and sisters who understand, who have traveled this path ahead of you, and who care about you.

3. Help is available. Healing is possible. A place to start if you are feeling the need to talk to someone on the local level is your local abuse prevention hotline. You can also contact a local mental health professional who specializes in sexual abuse issues as they apply to your particular gender. Although having been abused does not make you a mental freak, the therapist can help you to understand and put into perspective how the abuse affected your life and give you tools to use as you move through the recovery process. There are also a number of online resources available.

Anyhow, thanks for listening. I want each of you to know that this site was a huge support to me a number of years ago when I first began remembering the sexual abuse that happened to me when I was a child. This site and this forum, although I never posted at all back then, were a lifeline to me before I got the courage to seek help. Thank you, Timmy, from the bottom of my heart. Thanks to each of you here. You provide a place of refuge as it were, even with the arguments that come up from time to time.

Teddy

[Updated on: Sun, 29 April 2007 23:49]

“There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people as things. Including yourself. That's what sin is.” - Terry Pratchett

Re: Our Little Secret [message #42157 is a reply to message #42156]

Sun, 29 April 2007 09:37

timmy

Has no life at all

Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796

The very best thing about what you have written is that is is from the perspective of one who was made to do things he did not wish to do. I would add that your body may have enjoyed the experience even if, intellectually and emotionally your mind did not.

A long time ago I put http://iomfats.org/resources/health/raped.html together. If you feel it needs any additions or edits please, all of you, help me to improve it.

Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School

Previous Topic:	What is your favourite television comedy series and film(s)?
Next Topic:	Sensitive question

Goto Forum:

[ Syndicate this forum (XML) ] [

]

We support Ukraine — Мы поддерживаем Украину — Ми підтримуємо Україну

We support Palestine — We support Palestine — We support Palestine