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i ben talkin wit somon from her on my aim mesage and he won tell me. i wan to kno what to do to do it. lik sex stuff. i dun know how an canot ask my dad he wudnt undrstand i wan to kno in cas we do it mabe
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I guess the first answer is that you do only what feels right for both of you. And you might be amazed at just how good simply holding him and being held is without actually getting the genitals involved
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy wrote:
> I guess the first answer is that you do only what feels right for both of you. And you might be amazed at just how good simply holding him and being held is without actually getting the genitals involved
i knw all that. my frind from here that i tlk to said so to. but i don kno what do do. i don kno how to do it.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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You need to think about two people. You and him. My firm advice is to put his needs first and to hope that he, in turn, puts your needs first.
You can (and should) talk to each other about what you feel would be good within the relationship you have.
See, I don't have any idea if you love him or lust after him, and I don't know what he feels about you.
I have no idea what each of you thinks is off limits.
I do know that you don't have to do "everything" on the first occasion. I can also guess that you will each have hair triggers the first time you do more than kiss and snuggle, and that we are brought up to find that embarrassing. I actually think it's a huge compliment!
Talk to each other. I mean really talk. You sound as if you have precisely no experience. Does he have any?
Do you have any idea what you might like to try? Have you thought about the practical things?
Give us something to work with, Braden. And please, please, rememer that it is ok not to have sex for ages.
[Updated on: Mon, 11 June 2007 15:19]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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he syayd at my hous and we had the sam bed to. we hugd and we kisd and even did some othr stuf to. i dun no wut u mean bout trigr. i wan to kno how to do it inht e but lik i saw on the intnet. we saw a movie an they wer don it. it was only lik ten second long an dint sho how.
[Updated on: Mon, 11 June 2007 15:36] |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I'd love to answer that, but I'm in a rush right now.
Braden, you want to know that, but does he? And who does what and with which and to whom?
I'm sure the other guys have great advice. I can help out later if you still need info. It's surprisingly detailed and more about emotions than you think right now that geometry.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Braden, Timmy has a link on his iomfats.org website to a site called "Jackinworld". I'm sure it isn't necessary to explain what masturbation is to you. But this site also lists techniques for two people to pleasure each other. It is called "Fun For Two". You can surf through Jackinworld until you find this section or else use this link to go directly there: http://www.jackinworld.com/expert/11fun42.html.
Mutual masturbation is the first sexual step in lovemaking and various means of doing it can hold your interest for quite awhile. When you express an interest in learning how to "do it", I imagine that the "it" you are referring to is intercourse. This is not a step you leap into suddenly. Of all the methods of gratifying one another sexually, that step is considered the most advanced and also the most dangerous (for the spreading of disease and causing pain or injury). If you absolutely must move beyond the kissing and cuddling stage - use the advice in "Fun For Two". When, or if, you feel you need to move beyond this then there are still many methods of being intimate besides doing "it". This forum is still open to you for later advice - but for now, stick to the basics.
I like to compare a loving relationship to a brick building. All the things you have in common, the things you do together, the life you build together are represented by each individual brick in the building. You can build a strong building without mortar between the bricks, but the mortar does add to its stability. If we consider sexual relations as the mortar of the building - then we can see that its purpose is simply to strengthen the building (add to the existing relationship). And while you can build a strong building using only bricks - a building composed of only mortar is quick to crumble. A wise builder applies mortar sparingly.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Whoops ... I clicked on the url and it didn't work.  Try this instead:
http://www.jackinworld.com/expert/
This should work. Then look at the top menus and click on "Fun For Two".
Sorry!
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Paul that is great advice! Braden, take the advice given so far, there is no hurry, between huggen and kissin and “doin it” are a lot of things to find that are very wonderful, that being the bricks that Paul was talking about, the intellectual and emotional stuff that you may find in common. Hehe those are the things that will make the mortar just right so what you and your friend build will stand the test of time!
LOL love the metaphors!
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I am thinking of myself, at 15. I had been in love already for two solid years, and I knew precisely what I needed to do, though not how to do it.
The thing is, it was not "a fuck" I wanted. I was ready then to make a full emotional and physical commitment to the totally unaware object of my love. At 15 i would have pledged my life to him, and given him my body, as a gift.
So, while we are giving Braden excellent advice, we do need to remember that he has a clear idea of what he wants and needs right now.
The thing we do not know, that only his boyfriend knows, is how the b/f feels about Braden. Both boys must know what they want and need and must talk to each other about it.
For myself the gift of my body to my (regrettably imaginary) lover would have been with no ceremony, but with a totality of love. He already had my soul, if he had only known it.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Many gay men just stick to masturbating each other, and that is a pretty satisfying way of making love for many of us.
If you both decide that you want to explore other things, choices are oral or anal sex: I'm guessing that when you said "we saw a movie an they wer don it" you probably meant anal sex. Actually, around a third of gay couples don't ever do this, and many of the rest only do so occasionally. But for me - and many other people - welcoming a lover into your body can be an extremely powerful experience which I'm only willing to share with someone who I love and trust absolutely and have spent a lot of time getting to know.
We're all different, of course, and I'm sure that you'll make your own decisions. But there's been a lot of good advice from other posters here.
HOW-TO If or when you both decide that you both want anal sex, a very blunt, non-judgemental and explicit how-to guide is at http://www.angelfire.com/theforce/deepinside/topology-01.html (the MOST IMPORTANT bit is the "basics" link) . It's written from the point of view of the "top", but I'd suggest printing it out and reading it through several times while cuddled up together, talking it through!
I'm afraid that I don't know of any good reliable links on oral sex ...
Usual stuff - I'm not offering this link to recommend that you have anal sex - that is up to you both. Needless to say, if you are are of an age, or live in an area, where this kind of activity is illegal, this isn't an encouragement to do anything illegal. I'm offering it because IF (or when) you DO decide to have anal sex anyway, there are things you need to know, and this link covers most of them.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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this is Will
He showed me all the mesages. i know what you all mean about going slow and takin it easy. but i want you to know i love braden i dont want to f**k him we want to make love. i watched him on the beach all day and it was the hardent thing i ever did t go to him to talk to him. at first i lustd for him but now i know its more. braden is scared alot of the time because he just is. but he has a good heart and i lov him with all mine. i kno we shoud wait for us to be older but i dont kno if i can wait. when i see him i get so workd up and sweaty and i cant breath when he looks at me i just turn to mush. l lov braden.
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will is here wit me and he sais we have to not do it till we kno how. i want to kno how so i kno how to mak lov with will. i will wait cos evry one sais so an will wants us to do ti right. i wan that too. ya. i don wan to break ny laws. no. i don do bad things. an i don lik when somon uses bad words too. i just get so confusd. will staid with me saturdy nite and we slep togther. we did some stuf an it was lotsa fun. i don want to do bad stuf tho. no. i gots to od this slowr so i can do this rite
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Braden wrote:
no. i gots to od this slowr so i can do this rite
That sounds perfect. Just do what feels good for both of you. Enjoy this very special time of getting to know all about each other - bodies and minds.
all good wishes
NW
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I reckon there is one really important thing to be sure of first. The problem is that you can't know the answer until afterwards.
You know that old line "Will you still love me in the morning?" That's the really hardest thing to know. I know you are going to say "yes, of course I will."
All I hope you will do is to think hard first, inside your head, about precisely how you feel. (where else would you think?)
It's really hard to separate lust and love and see each for what it is. If you would die for him without his asking, even without making love, perhaps especially without making love, then it is love.
If it is truly love then everything you do together is wonderful and wholesome and enhances everything you are to each other.
I know everyone is saying "Wait", me too. But there comes a point when expressing your love is so normal and natural that everything kind of falls into place naturally.
The main thing about lovemaking is time. You are both asking "how?", I am suggesting "when?" is the best question. Making love is a long process. It doesn't involve throwing his legs over his head and inserting your anatomy in his, fun as that may be. It's a long exploration of one clean body by another clean body, finding out what is enjoyed and what is pulled back from.
I think you are asking "How do we do anal sex?" That is just anal sex. It is a part of lovemaking Lea, but is not love making in itself. That is just another way for each of you to enjoy bodily sensations, of you both choose to do it. And, like all things, it takes practice, just like male with female penetrative sex.
Have a look at http://iomfats.org/resources/ and read, together, the menu items, in order. Learn to explore, learn lightness of touch, learn hygiene. Above all, take time, possibly days, before you each attempt penetration, and find out what you enjoy and what you do not enjoy, and tell each other. Words are important. Learn what embarrasses you and what does not.
And, above all, find a place where you can be private for as long as you need. And be romantic, not clinical. And, if you like parts of each other's bodies, say so to each other. Words are as much a caress ans touch.
But do not treat anal sex as a goal. You may not enjoy it. And that is totally ok, provided you are honest about it. It is just a thing that some gay guys do and others do not.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Hi Braden
you know how to go on line so i assume you look at the gay sites, which shows you exactly what and how to do it, and you can take your pick,the people on this site have offered very good info.
but you dont seem to take it on board, i wonder why?.
life is to enjoy.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I am guessing here, but I think a photo or a video, while interesting, lacks something. We can use those to se "what" to do, but not "how" to do it.
At 15 I woudl also have felt both unattracted to the pictures, since they are so much older than I was, and rather inadequate when looking at the inevitable monster dicks the porn guys are selected for
[Updated on: Tue, 12 June 2007 09:27]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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jack wrote:
> Hi Braden
>
> you know how to go on line so i assume you look at the gay sites, which shows you exactly what and how to do it, and you can take your pick,the people on this site have offered very good info.
>
> but you dont seem to take it on board, i wonder why?.
I have been perusing porn sites for years and have never once found a pic or video site that offered instruction. If you have then by all means feel free to share it.
I think the important thing here is that these are kids... children at the near end of their childhood but nonetheless children. they are at least showing enough presence of mind to take the time and effort to ask the wuestions that every gay child should ask
no youth shound go out running out into the world proclaiming "i saw some guys fucking online so fuck me world I am now an expert!"
parhaps that is why!
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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mark, calm down no need to go over the top i think you made your point,
i did point out that the board has offered some good points.
life is to enjoy.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Everyone else has covered the whether or not you should or not. So I'll just mention birds and bees.
For good physically stimulating sex, the most important thing (in my opinion) is a good lubricant. And (between new acquaintances) a good condom. Without a good lubricant you are going to struggle.
It can be hard to get access to lube at 15- particularly embarassing, but as far as condoms go, most places have laws to stop stores refusing to sell. It'll be embarassing, but it's important. If you are mature enough to have sex, you are mature enough to buy condoms. Lube- well, don't use oil- it makes condoms break. Some hair gels can work okay- but others can sting.
Personally I'd recommend you stick to blow jobs. They feel good and are easier to do and don't require lube. To give a blow job, just use lots of lips and tongue. Talk and experiment, ask Will what feels the best and then you'll know what to do. It's not really that hard- just do what feels good for both of you. There's no right or wrong to sex- just what feels good.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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