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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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If you read http://iomfats.org/aboutme/lifestory/outed.html you will see a kid who is 51 years old today. Like so many kids I was at school with he is happily heterosexual. They all seem to be heterosexual.
I never loved him, but I transferred my obsession to him after John left school and I had a year more to serve.
He's a singer, and, form his website, a good one. A couple of years ago he looked like the picture below.
I guess things in my life at present make the passing of time the more... undesirable.
Happy birthday, Paul. May you have many more.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Some day I’ll have to write about my first love in Junior High School. We have very similar stories. I managed to make friends with all of Dee’s friends so that I would have an excuse to be around him often. Beginning at age 13 I loved him for seven years of school and never had the courage to tell him. You and I are of the same era and we know it wasn’t the thing to do. Being outed had grave consequences. But then I was afraid of being rejected too. Better to love him from afar and have him in my life than take the chance of having him disgusted with me and pushing me away. At least this is the way I reasoned. Ahhh ... straight kids don’t know how easy they have it do they?
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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It always makes me think what the heck made thing so different for me, I mean, I’m maybe less than a year younger than Timmy, yet some how I ended up having sex with other boys from the time I was 12 maybe near 13, and I mean all the way!
I wasn’t a fem little boy by any means, nothing about me screamed hey this boy will do it with you or any thing close that I can think of. I didn’t really fall in love till I was 14; here the times we grew up in raised it’d ugly head.
Still I have to wonder, compared to many other early experiences I’ve seen related here and else where. Did I exude some kind of pheromone or something LOL?
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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Har, har!  ) Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying I never had sex at that age! ::-) I just never had the courage to come out to the one person I loved with all my heart. :'-(
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Paul Schroder wrote:
>Being outed had grave consequences. But then I was afraid of being rejected too. Better to love him from afar and have him in my life than take the chance of having him disgusted with me and pushing me away. At least this is the way I reasoned. Ahhh ... straight kids don’t know how easy they have it do they?
>I just never had the courage to come out to the one person I loved with all my heart.
Even in the age we live in it is still not easy for some people to come out and say whta they want. FEAR of rejection will always bind me to my silence, and hold my thoughts of love and lust captive.
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I never had sex at that age. I know it was kind of available, but something always stopped me from being a party of the group that were doing things. Or that probably were doing things.
Homosexuality disgusted us. It was just plain wrong.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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