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For all of you who know or have known your father be extra thankful. No mater how he was, good or bad, its better than never knowing at all.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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I do not have my fathers phone number or address, though I suppose that I could get them from my brother if I ever felt the need to. For over twenty years I was not on speaking terms with my father ... and although we've spoken on Christmas and birthdays for the past five or six years, it's always been him ringing me.
Today, for the first time ever, he called me on Fathers Day. I have to say, I probably didn't handle the call very well - it was completely unexpected, and I have been feeling deeply depressed all day (I'm in a lot of physical pain at the moment, shitty weather, still having to try and convince the remaining cat that her sister is never coming back ... and today is the birthday of someone who I still miss very much).
Nevertheless, there's a part of me that's glad the old man rang ... I have gradually been able to come to terms with the fact that he did, in his own way, love me - even though he can never accept and will never understand the things that are important to me. It must, I now realise, have been difficult for him to father a child who was so completely different to what he had been as a boy, and to most of the offspring of his contemporaries.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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There are some good things in the day I think. The pain is not one of them, not either sort of pain
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I only met my father once when I was 15. My mum did a great job playing the role of both parents and I never felt I missed out on anything. Sometimes I'd buy her a present on father's day as well as mother's day! The rest of the time the day went by pretty much without notice. She did have some decent boyfriends over the years that provided a bit of a role model, but I never found myself regretting not having a dad in my life.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Im not saying some moms didnt do a good job of being both parents (mine did good to be a mom). You have the oportunity to know your father, wheather you desire to or not is up to you. I dont have that option.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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And you at the least have the opportunity to know of your father. Whether you desire to or not.
Everyone's situation is different. You sound a little "poor me" about the whole thing.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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It probably is a poor me time. I was unwanted and unloved by my mom and the rest of my family. I know of my father because his name is on the birth certificate. I often wonder what life would have been like if I had had him around. Knowing he existed isnt enough. With him around maybe, just maybe I wouldnt have disowned my family at 19.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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My friend, your father went for a reason. You went for another reason. But times of year get to us all. Weep and move forward as we all do.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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