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Will stayed over my house last night and we talked all night long. He said he wants me to be his boyfriend. I said I wanted him for my boyfriend too. We promised to each other that we would not do sex stuff with other people because we want us to be together forever. I like it when will holds me because I feel good when he does. My dad took me to the mall the other day and he saw some boys like being all gay and he said bad things to his frined that was with us. I don’t like it when he sais things like that because it could be me he would say them about. When he does that he scares me a lot. I love my dad but sometimes he scares me. and I don’t laugh at what people tell me I don’t do that. I only ask things because me and will want to do things right and not be hurting each other. I don’t make fun of people because that’s nit nice and its mean. I don’t do that. Is hugging and kissing doing sex stuff. I didn’t think so but will sais it is.
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I don't think hugging or kissing qualifies as sex stuff. I think sex stuff has to do with the genitals. Otherwise, kissing your grandma would be ... eeeewww!
My brothers used to make nasty remarks about gay people too. But they know I'm gay now and they love me and support me anyway. I doubt they say bad things about gay people anymore either. Your Dad might be disappointed and upset to find you out but I don't think he would stop loving you. It would just take him awhile to get used to the idea. It's usually only very, very religious people that can't find it in their hearts to accept a gay person. Is your Dad really religious?
You and Will's decision not to do sex stuff with other people is a good one. That way, you don't have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases. Not only that but it shows a real commitment to another person. Way to go Braden. Hugs.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Braden, Holding and kissing is not sex stuff. There is passion and displays of affection. Two people in love and wanting to make each other feel protected and loved is very different from sex. From what you have said you are both doing things right and Im proud of you. By the way, Will can talk to if he wants  . Keep going, your doing good.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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Good luck with your dad. I'd wait until you are older before you tell him anything. Right now you are still under his power way too much. The best time to come out is when you have plans in case you get kicked out of home. It's not common for gay kids to be kicked out, but if you prepare for the worst then anything better is a bonus!
I'm glad you and Will are happy together. I hope you are able to enjoy each other for as long as it lasts. I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now. It's great being with someone you love. If you have decided to stay loyal that is probably a good thing. But remember that's just a decision you have made together. There isn't anything wrong with wanting to try other people- but you need to be open and honest about it and respect Will's feelings. Kissing and hugging isn't super sexual, but I think that if you have promised not to do anything sexual with other people, then it's a good idea not to kiss or hug other people romantically, too! Intimacy is nice to just share with one other.
It sounds like things are going well, though, Braden. I hope you guys keep on having fun being in love.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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A parent's control over their children is not to be taken lightly. In addition it is important to consider your future relationship with your father. Having a good relationship with him is important to you now and likely always will be; don't do anything to damage it.
Where I disagree is on the subject of discussing your sexual orientation with him EVER. Why do it? It is wrong to have sex in front of others regardless of the gender of the other person. If you were having sex with a girl you wouldn't want to be caught by your Dad and you should be even more carefull doing things with another boy. If you are carefull there is no reason for your Dad to ever see you hugging, kissing or holding another boy.
If you were hetro you probably wouldn't discuss your relationships with your Dad so why discuss them with him just because you are gay? Your father would not be cool with the knowledge that his son is gay and that is nothing unusual. Your job is to make sure that he doesn't find out. I really do believe that it is that simple. There are probably other things that you do that you work hard to keep him from knowing about; right? This is more important so you should just try that much harder. It's not hiding, it's not lying; it simply is none of his business.
That's my opinion, for what it's worth.
JimB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Well, there is a point when parents start to wonder if their kid is gay. This happens at any age from 13 to 30 when they don't have a conventional relationship. They starts asking.
One of my cousins, loudly, at a wedding said "Ryan hasn't got a girlfiend. I asked him if he was GAY (loud gay) and he said not." Ryan was 26 at the time, and her son. He's not 26 any more.
Heterosexual people are always coming out to each other. "This is my girlfriend" is a good way!
But we gay folks need to decide about our actions carefully.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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I guess it depends on your family. My family knows what I'm doing in my life. Who I'm seeing. And that'd be the case regardless of sexuality. I'm older, though, so I can get away with it.
I don't discuss sex with mum explicitely, but she knows Ryan and I do it. But we live together, and share a bed. So it's fairly obvious. I want to her to know Ryan, though. I want my family to know and like Ryan- and they do! I like my family being a part of my life. But when I was still in the closet at 17 I'd introduce my bf of the time as "my friend". He stayed the night often, but friends do that, after all.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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