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'Another Bunch of Idiots' post, sort of whats the word... intrigued (or something like that) me to write this post.
Pedophiles make me sick. Sick, sad, frightened, and mad, all at the same time.
im just like what the FUCK! if i saw some kid being abused like that, id punch the living sh*t out of the person molesting that child until someone got me off him.
Naturally, my first instinct would be, like a parent i guess, and get the person off the child. its WRONG! like oh my god... its fucking wrong....
im going emotional again. i cant really help it this time. i feel, like i want to crawl inside a big hole and lay there... and i dont know why... im just helpless i guess.
im just seeing a pedo rape a boy in my mind, so im emotional about it. and im screaming at him to stop, but hes not... like fuck... why do i see these things in my head?
like fuck.... wrapping little boys up in belts or whatever your fetish is, and forcing them to have sex with you, isnt normal! its just not fucking normal....
im sorry about my language... i dont usually swear a lot...
im sorry about this.. forgive me..
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Its ok Josh, Nobody wants to see a child hurt
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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'Rape Poem' is a poem i wrote about a kid who gets molested.
it was just cause i read what was on the page of a bunch of idiots...
what the fuck tho...
what 'pleasure' do pedophiles get out of molesting a kid?! i just dont get it....
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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on a completely different note, im reading about O.C.D and looking at pictures of fire.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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where the hell was someone like you when i was lockid in that room for 8 months
i
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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im sorry Marc.
im very sorry...
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13801
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You display something I also suffer from. Empathy. It means we can live potentially both ends of that rather unpleasant movie and understand the abuser and the abused. It does not mean we enjoy the "experience" of visualising it, but it means we can start to understand.
This also means that we have an ability, should we choose to use it, to allow the abused child or the adult that child becomes to unburden themselves, usually without asking the imbecilic questions that others may ask.
You see these things precisely because you care. Never think you are abnormal. You are simply sensitive to other people's pain.
Yes. Paedophiles are sick, horrid, the lot. It is wrong. Marc may remember Stephen (Steven?) who was in daily danger of killing himself because he had been abused by a friend of the family from the age of 6 to 14/15. He was damaged very seriously emotionally by the events. It's the emotional damage that hurts worst. The body heals far faster than the mind.
When I last met Steven online he was in his early twenties and married to the mother of his child. He will probably make it, but it was touch and go for a long time.
His challenge was that he equated homosexuality with paedophilia - a common association by many people. He is, however, now in a position to understand that peole can love him without having designs on his body.
I like to think that I was helpful in empathising with his pain, which is why I introduced him here. He looked forward to talking with me, gay or not, because I would listen to him. And that is what I think you will also be able to do precisely because you can feel.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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if i tired explaining this to anyone, they'd think i was crazy or the sort. i cant talk about it to my parents or anyone cause its hard to talk about. not like i can just say 'some boy just got molested and raped inside my head, and i felt it.' it just doesnt work that way.
thanks for replying timmy. i really appreciate it.
when i read something, i can see it happening. like when i was reading the article for 'another bunch of idiots', and i saw the guys picture there, i was scared. just immediately, scared. i was scared that something like that would happen to me.
and i pray to god it never will. but if someone tried it, i'd beat the living crap out of them and run like hell. same goes for if i see some kid being raped, i'll beat the living shit out of the asshole who raped the kid. cuase its not right, and thats what i believe.
i feel what i read. it only happens when i read something.
also, i have conversations with myself all the time, which really isnt anything new, but sometimes i talk about like rape and stuff like that and i get depressed and mad and stuff.
anyway, thanks for replying.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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You are forgiven Josh. I was severely abused by my father until I was 6. I can understand your reasoning. Unfortunately for me, therapy doesn't help much. However, we are all allowed our feelings. I don't think you meant to upset any one here on purpose, tho there are some of us that get emotional when reminded of things from our past.
Love always
~aQuA~
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13801
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You know, therapy per se does not help. The only two things that help are being able to talk to people who do not judge you in any way (society has trained us all to judge those who endured abuse as 'victims') even if you say the same thing over and over and over, and to have a fierce determination not to forget, but to accept what happened as unpleasant and inevitable, and to move forward knowing that this will help, slowly.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Timmy, I agree with you 100%. A few cups of coffee with a good listener is better than 20 hours with a therapist.
aqua
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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Out of interest, why OCD, Josh?
David
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