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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Some of you might know..... most don't..... I am once again working on a book and need feedback for certain aspects of the story that I wish to verify as being a part of gay youth culture... how it works and what emotions and or processes take place to cause these events/emotions/actions
Your help is greatly appreciated in that it goves me direction which adds a degree of reality to the story line.
If you don't feel comfortable answering here please email me... any insight will be greatly appreciated and possible worked into the persona of developing characters.
Thanks Marc....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I’m quite enjoying it actually, and I can tell you why and is some what related to the subject of your book.
Since the death of my eldest brother, there being only one of my immediate family still alive besides myself, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking back on my experience with them as relates to my sexuality, well, and a bunch of stuff, we all know how that story goes.
The thing is I’ve been trying to figure out why my experience has never gone beyond the proverbial “elephant in the living room.” What’s weird is that no one at no time has ever discussed any of this even when I’ve tried to open the subject my self even my being HIV pos. It’s one of the most disturbing things I have to deal with, what I mean by that is now that there is really no one around anymore to discuss it with I find that I wish somewhere along the way they had asked me anything.
The thing is I am not sure if it was them or me, if you get what I’m saying. See, the thing is that no one really ask much of me at all. It’s has been suggested that I don’t let people get very close; I guess this could be true. It takes me back to a comment my 8th grad science made to me, she and I used to talk quite a bit actually, but she said one day “you know Rick you amaze me, it’s almost as if you walk around inside an impermeable glass bubble only letting in what you want,” I never did get around to disusing the implications of what exactly she meant. I assumed at the time that she meant despite the whole student body knowing of my sexual activities, I was still a fairly gregarious and moderately popular kid, and that any slurs directed towards just bounced of my bubble, but then again I was big for my age and the only person to attack my physically was a member of the football team when he attacked with a pair of scissors in an attempt to cut my hair, which was pretty long (what can I say I was a little hipster even back in 1968) anyway I beat the shit out of him, kicked him in the nards as I remember hehe plus threatened legal action for being attacked with a deadly weapon. Sheeeesh I’m getting way off on a tangent here, I’ll finish that little flight by saying I never though that incident was due to my sexuality, more philosophy, who knows LOL I never asked.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I’m enjoying these questions because they are questions I have never been ask by the people closest to me. Maybe it’s something akin to having my day in court; otherwise it almost seems as if life has been a kangaroo court. It’s kinda nice even though the people I would liked to have heard some of it are not around.
LOL sorry to go on so but it’s been good for me!
[Updated on: Sat, 23 June 2007 20:49]
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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Arich wrote:
> the proverbial 'elephant in the living room'<
This is the second time in a week that I have heard this expression, yet in my sheltered life I'd never heard it before. Could someone give me an explanation, please, lest I jump to the wrong conclusions?
Higs
Nigel
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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it is something that tends to take up the entire room, and thus thought or conversation.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Yes, it take up the whole room and would be seemingly unavoidable but no one acknowledges its presence.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Actually i had never thought about it like that... but it's true...
I can remember being at my grandmothers after the hospital incident... but before the end of high school...
the house would be packed with relatives and EVERYONE knew....
but no one ever asked the obvious questions... not to me at any rate...
i do remember however that often a room would go dead silent when i entered... that always gave me the creeps...
Like they were planning their next move... i was always so grateful that gram would be there for me... the day she passed away a part of me died as well.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I've been there. You feel your heart sink in that silence. You want to know what they were talking about that your very presence interrupted. At the same time you don't want to know because you are afraid the knowing would be very painful or at the very least embarrassing. So instead you pretend not to hear the silence and just let it eat away at you.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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