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Hello all viewers of this page, type thing. lol.
Here's a re=cap of what I did today. All the regular hose chores, somedays they're fun^^ Then I played my games for a while, drinking Dr. Pepper, and the like. Twas much fun.
I'm rather bored at the moment, as I'm writing this sort of wierdly on the keyboard. lol. I'm listening to Ayumi Hamasaki in one ear using my headphones, and the other ear's just not. I can hear my dog tho.
I was wondering today, why it is that I find O.C.D to be interesting. Like, what it is about the whole 'disorder' that I find so intruiging. I was saying today, 'I don't mean to offend people by saying this, but I'm rather relieved that I don't have O.C.D.'
In a way I am, cause I don't have to (in a way) deal with what it is exactly that makes it difficult for people with O.C.D.
I am not Obsessive Compulsive. Therefore, I cannot assume anything when it comes to what it is that people with O.C.D have to go through.
Tho, I'll admit that there's a part of me that wants to experience O.C.D. You may think I'm crazy, which is okay. I think I'm strange, wierd and the like as well.
Today I was closing the cuboards in the kitchen cause it bothered me for them to remain open, so I closed them. It's not an obsessive thing. I don't think it is anyway, perhaps it is, I don't know.
These emoticons when you're making a post on here, are rather funny, aren't they. Red and white for the exclamation point, the pouty face, smile, lightbulb, question mark, tears face, the guy with shades, the thumbs down (burnage!), the thumbs up (alright!), the wink (someone likes ya), and of course, the blank page icon.
Which one do you normally choose when you post here? Not that it makes much of a difference.
I also find, that I blush a lot, and start to flirt with a person if I like them. This of course, is not in real life. It's ALLLLLLLLLL on the internets... Funny how mere 'words' can make someone feel so happy. Like saying 'I love you' to someone. It fills you with emotion, and you may or may not blush, but I do. I'll blush for most normal things a person would blush at. (Such as?)
I can be all alone, and I'll smile, or start laughing, because of (what the person looking at me thinks is) nothing at all. But I hear people in my head. I'm not even sure if you can call them 'people' due to the fact that 'they' lack a physical form, as we humans do. 'They're' like the wind I guess...
Anyway. Have fun, and play nice kiddies^_^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Hi Josh, I missed hearing from you. You will miss hearing from me after Friday afternoon. I have a friend coming to visit for one week. I will be playing tour guide for the entire week. I will miss you and every one here while I'm gone.
Also, I love flirting with you here. I blush, too, when writing sweeet things. But, I don't care or mind at all. The "me on this board does love the "you" on this board. I can blush all I want, no one can see me here. I mean what I say and I say what I mean. You and your poetry make me smile, make me happy and most of all make me want to make others smile. Maybe it's the "Josh" effect, yeah, that's what I'll call it, the "Josh" effect !
Always your friend,
~Aqua~
pS, I printed out "string of Pearls"
it's over my desk right now. 
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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You don't have to be particularly visibly obsessive compulsive to develop an obsessive compulsive disorder. A lot of people don't realise the distinction between them. An obsessive compulsive disorder can seemingly spring out of nowhere in a person who would previously not have appeared particularly obsessive or compulsive. For it to be a disorder rather than simply a character trait it would have to be of an order of magnitude where it was completely destroying your life, preventing you from doing anything that beforehand you would not even have thought twice about. In a similar way to, say, severe clinical depression.
Trust me, you don't want to experience OCD (the disorder). You'll find it almost impossible to stop; it is self-propagating, a highly destructive feedback loop. It can take years to return to something approaching normal; sometimes this never happens.
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Deej, what you said about OCD was exacltly how my therapist described it to me. Also, your prevoius warning to me about not letting it develop fully has helped me to watch and monitor my behavior. Thanks again for your valuable input on this subject.
aqua
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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aualino said,
>Thanks again for your valuable input on this subject.
Thank you, aqua -- it's not something I would wish on anyone.
In my own case, if only I could go back to when I was 16, I would tell myself -- *force* myself even -- not to let myself modify my behaviour in an arbitrary -- even if apparently rational -- fashion from how I would have reacted beforehand, even if I really, really wanted to. Once you do, you can undermine a lifetime of rational and normal behaviour with a few ill-thought-out rituals ... and once you've adopted the rituals, you may be too frightened of the consequences to stop.
The best way not to develop OCD is watch out for sources of stress that you haven't much experience dealing with -- in my case it was chiefly a huge workload and terrible disorganisation, and to a more minor extent my sexuality -- and pay attention to how they are affecting your mood; if you're sidelining them rather than dealing with them they can jump up and bite you when you least expect it. Anxiety and frustration can also often be channelled into something else in a societally-acceptable way: sport or work or a hobby, for example, but be careful you're not overlooking things that matter more. Drinking and drugs and related anxiety disorders such as anorexia, I suspect, are also risks; though I've been fortunate not to encounter them.
I am, of course, not a trained psychologist or psychiatrist, but I speak from personal experience on what has helped me.
David
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Deej, I find that personal experience is a better teacher than some Dr. spouting off text book clinical explanations. You would be surprised how much I have learned from you here on this board over the past few years. Not only has it helped me "see" me, it has helped me "see" you, too. I thank you for that.
aqua
PS. I'm running outta words that start with Y. What are we going to do ???
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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aqua said,
>PS. I'm running outta words that start with Y. What are we going to do ???
How about 'n'?
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I think the one with the thickest dictionary is gonna win!
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Paul, I was thinking exactly the same thing. I just wish I had a dictionary that has all those long multi-syllable words that Deej uses.
aqua
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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