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Straight Crush  [message #43776] Fri, 06 July 2007 02:21 Go to next message
davethegnome is currently offline  davethegnome

Likes it here
Location: United States
Registered: January 2005
Messages: 204




I have a straight crush at the moment. I don't know why I am putting myself through this. He clearly has a girlfriend of almost two years. Hopefully it will pass.

It all started about a year ago when we where drinking and playing cards. He put his hand on my thigh and left it there for a while. About a month after that, when we were drinking, a socially acceptable occasion arose where he could feel my chest.

I had kind of considered him off-limits up until that point on account of him, being, well, straight but these two occasions opened the floodgates and now I am in full fledged crush mode. He of course doesn't know I'm gay
(well, at least not to my knowledge). We hang out alot. He is one of my best friends. This sucks.

Sometimes I think I catch him checking me out but I imagine that is wishful thinking and just in my head. Darn sexual preferences.

I just had to vent.

thanks

david



It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
Re: Straight Crush  [message #43777 is a reply to message #43776] Fri, 06 July 2007 02:25 Go to previous messageGo to next message
Josh is currently offline  Josh

On fire!

Registered: April 2006
Messages: 1012



Aww. That's so sweet. I'm not really sure what to tell you though. And I cant really say I've gone what you're going through, cause I've never had a straight crush.

I only hope that things work out for you. *hugs*

~Josh~



21.

Love who you want to.

~Josh~
Re: Straight Crush  [message #43780 is a reply to message #43776] Fri, 06 July 2007 06:36 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



Does he know you are unstr8?



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Straight Crush  [message #43782 is a reply to message #43776] Fri, 06 July 2007 07:53 Go to previous messageGo to next message
JFR is currently offline  JFR

On fire!
Location: Israel
Registered: October 2004
Messages: 1367



David, I know how you feel. I have felt like that for almost 50 years! He is still my best ( str8 ) friend although we live in different countries. I have to live on the hugs he gives me when we do get together from one year to the next. But I know - I am certain - that when we were young if he had ever put his hand on my thigh or felt my chest I would have asked him directly. Live in hope.

J F R

[Updated on: Fri, 06 July 2007 07:53]




The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
Re: Straight Crush  [message #43783 is a reply to message #43782] Fri, 06 July 2007 09:11 Go to previous messageGo to next message
timmy

Has no life at all
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796



I know that the boy I adored MAY have actually liked me in return. But he never put his hand on my thigh despite my giving him all sorts of messages of desire. Like JFR, if he had, I think I would have asked.

Do not waste your life with a crush. Get closure.



Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
Re: Straight Crush  [message #43793 is a reply to message #43776] Fri, 06 July 2007 20:03 Go to previous messageGo to next message
NW is currently offline  NW

On fire!
Location: Worcester, England
Registered: January 2005
Messages: 1560



I've had several crushes on "straight" guys. Most of them were 100% straight. Several were "just curious". At least a couple were bisexual.

The thing is, your friend could be any of these - just because he appears to be "straight" doesn't mean anything much (plenty of the guys here have appeared to be straight for some part of, or all of, their lives - I did myself for a couple of years).

I'd suggest, don't get your hopes up, and don't dwell on him too much. But if it happens again, you can ask him - in words, or (better) by body language - if he is wanting to experiment. But be warned that if he is only "curious" it can hurt a lot worse to have had sex with someone you've had a crush on for ages, only to discover that it's a one-off event, than it does to suffer from unrequited affection!

But, above all, don't close yourself off from meeting other (new) guys, who may be gay and may fancy you - there's nothing like a new boyfriend for putting past crushes in proper perspective!



"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
Re: Straight Crush  [message #43812 is a reply to message #43776] Sat, 07 July 2007 05:26 Go to previous message
ProfZodiac is currently offline  ProfZodiac

Likes it here
Location: United States
Registered: August 2006
Messages: 115



I've been there. And it didn't end well.

All I can say is that you need to pick your words very carefully if and when you talk to him about it. He needs to know you're gay before he learns you want to get with him.
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