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ummm yeah so i'm new,
15 years old and gay
and depressed, my family has pretty much forgotten i exist since i told them i'm gay.
no one loves me
no one gives a damn
whats the point?
why shouldnt i just give up?
as always my friends,
Jordan
ps. I've written 17 poems they will be here soon
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Hi Jordan and welcome. We can certainly feel your loneliness as most of us aren't strangers to it ourselves. You have instant friends here. We accept you just as you are and for who you are.
Perhaps you haven't truly lost your family's love? Perhaps confusion, disappointment or unbelief masks their feeling of love for you. It takes time for people to come to terms with news they don't want to hear. There is even a grieving process they go through while they put to rest the Jordon they thought they knew. Everyone grieves at their own rate. Just continue to be the sweet, accepting person you were before you told them. If you give up on them because you think they have given up on you, then you help to build the walls between you. If anyone builds a wall, make sure it isn't you - show them you are still the same Jordon they have always loved.
That you are a person with much love to share is very apparent by your poems - which are quite good by the way. And though it may not seem that way now, someone special will come into your life to share this love with you. It may not be tomorrow or even next week, but as long as you're searching you will find him - and he will find you. Lean on your friends to help ease the loneliness and also try to make new friends. Coming here is a good first start.
Hugs to my new friend Jordan
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Hullo.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You know, I give a damn. That's why I created this site and this board.
We make friends here, if we want to, and we support each other.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Jedediah
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Likes it here |
Location: Made in NZ
Registered: March 2006
Messages: 170
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Hey Jordan,
Great to see you here. Stick around.
cheers
E Te Atua tukuna mai ki au te Mauri tauki te tango i nga mea
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Hey Jordan!
This may be the wrong thing to say - it usually is when I say it - but how lucky you are to be able to say at the age of 15 that you are gay. That's in place of going through your life with doubts and hiding the fact, remaining in the closet. Instead you can embrace all the nice things about being gay like having a boyfriend and admiring the beauty of other boys. Sorry your family's taken it so hard and sorry about Sam, but you've got lots of opportunities. Just be careful.
Hugs
Nigel
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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People never forget you exist. Your parents still do give a damn. And they may not realise it, but they still love you. It can be hard dealing with parents. It's such a shock to most of them, they often feel they don't know you anymore. Most parents feel upset that you "decided" to be gay without asking them or talking to them about it. It took my mum a little while to understand that I passed by the "unsure" stage without her. I didn't tell her until I was sure.
I give a damn about you, though, Jordan. I care about people. Especially people that sound nice. With all the arseholes and morons in the world, I like to have nice, smart people around. Otherwise I'd be lonely.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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Hello, Jordan. It's always nice to see new faces around here.
I'm sure that a lot of posters would identify with what you're going through. The important thing is not to give up -- once you're 18 you're your own man and can shape your life as you want to.
Good luck, and welcome. If there's any way we can help, please don't hesitate to post.
David
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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hello Jordan,
welcome, everyone here can help you if you need it,it is upto you to ask and take on board what you need to.
This site has older people as well as young people of your age, some have gone through similar problems to yourself .
so if you need to please post and you can talk to a group of people or individuals .
At 15 life can seem to put you under preasure to conform etc., but guess what the next day is often better,then as time goes by you think well last week wasn't that bad really. It does get better.
life is to enjoy.
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Jordon, you are the master of your life. Dont let someone else think tha they control your happiness.
When ever you are in doubt think of the last words of this poem.
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I think whatever gods might be
for my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced or cried aloud.
Under the blugeoning of chance
My head is is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horrors of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It maters not how straight the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE:
I AM THE CAPTAIN OF MY SOUL.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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