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Ignore me. My problems must seem insignificant compared to those of everyone else here!
David
[Updated on: Wed, 08 August 2007 19:01] |
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David, I don’t think that’s true. Our problems may differ but as Timmy is want to say, it 100% for all of us. Your nor anyone else’s problems are insignificant.
People will tell you where they've gone
They'll tell you where to go
But till you get there yourself you never really know
Where some have found their paradise
Other's just come to harm
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Hi Deej. Your problems are not insignificant. What help or advice do you need ? Curiously enough, because of the mood stabalizer I'm on, I tend to dream all night long whilst I sleep and one brief clip was about you. We met in a park and you had hair just a little longer than normal. I remember saying "David Joy what a surprise". Then I woke up. Perhaps you were asking for help and I heard ???
aqua
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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Well, I posted saying that at the moment life seems very bipolar -- one moment I'm making progress, the next I realise that the progress is tiny or illusionary. Then I lost self-confidence and removed the post, feeling that no-one would be interested in my problems -- probably a symptom of the way I feel at the moment!
However I think about it, I can't think of any reasonable solution to this up-down-up-down style of living other than 'keep yourself busy'', and 'keep going'. The problem is that I will have to make several decisions in the next few days, and it would be so easy to make the wrong ones. What's worse, even the right ones may be very disappointing.
I do feel I need to get away from home, where I feel very isolated and cut off, but if I do go away (at huge expense, of course, and I have no money!) then I would probably feel it was just running away.
David
[Updated on: Wed, 08 August 2007 21:16] |
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How strange. 
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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You know where to find me....
Im here for you to talk whenever you need.....
huggs tight.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I thought so,too. I swear though, it really is the truth. There were also lots of squirrels running about as well.
aqua
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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What I mean is simple.
My problems are 100%, yours are 100%. Each of us has different problems, but each is 100%
So, since 100% is 100%, yours and mine, while different, each set is worthy of proper attention.
Comparing 100%s is not relevant.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I said it. Each of us suffers to the limit (or to what we believe the limit is) of our ability to cope.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Funnily enough, it's not really 100% that's the awful part, but somewhere before that point -- perhaps somewhere between 50% and 75%. When stress gets to 100%, you know you have to change something, reappraise the situation, adopt a coping strategy -- there's a feeling almost of relief in knowing that you've reached the end of your tether. (In its way, it is liberating.) But when you haven't got to that stage yet you have to gamble. If the stress levels keep going up, then they will reach 100% with a dreadful inevitability. But if there's a chance that things will turn out well and they will go down (and in my case, there is ... though I'm damned if I know how to get there!) then one feels one must keep going to allow for that chance. Stopping before one gets to 100% is unmitigated failure.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Because you are somewhat introspective at the moment you have confused the fact that you suffer 100% of your problems with the meter that shows how much of your problems you are suffering currently. In a way this is a means of shielding yourself from the fact that your problems are worthy of anyone's help.
So, let me be clear.
The total universe of your problems is 100% of your problems. It is that 100% that I am saying is the sum total that you suffer. This total universe pains you in the same manner that my total universe pains me. This pain is absolutely comparable because we suffer our total universe.
Clearly we do not suffer all of that universe all the time. If we did then life would be unbearable. We develop coping strategies and we cope. We have the ability in various ways to control how much or how little we suffer, though it is not always as simple as "just doing it". You have described a coping strategy's results.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Dear Deeej,
You have a home to live in, you have a loving and supportive family, you have food to eat and you have friends who care. Jeeeesh! You even have an Internet connection! There are millions of people on this planet who would love to have your problems.
Have patience. It will all turn out all right in the end.
Remember: "always look on the bright side of life" - even when they crucify you! ;-D
Hugs from J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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Exactly -- that's why I killed my original post!
Hugs,
David
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That is interesting about the mood stabalizer. I was on an anti-seizure (Lamictal) medication that is also a mood stabilizer and noticed the same effect.
A site you might find interesting that provides information on neurological drugs is crazymeds.org
Also, if your information is correct, I'm about to move approximately 1 hour south of you.
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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This is what I told my son when he said the same thing:
Life is full of decisions, big and small. You will make your own decision, then have to live with it. Whatever the consequences, you do have one very great satisfaction; yourself. No one can force you one way or another. Yes, some consequences will not be the hoped for ones, but the satisfaction of you making the decision may outweigh those consequences. Do not be afraid of making decisions for that is how you grow. And the most telling about you as a person is how you deal with those results.
Hugs, Charlie
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Hi,
LIfe is great as long as you appreciate it is like shifting sand, we all make desions, some are wright some are wrong, let life lead you. some people long to be in a high flying job you may wish to be a film director, but hey lots of people are much happier doing other jobs, less stressful jobs.
Our parents some times set high targets but did they set them or did you.
You are a very well educated person but that does not mean you should be a rocket scientist.
Take some time out and travel the world then settle down to what job you really want or need.
You may well feel happy running your own company or what ever but you know you dont always have to be top of the class to be happy and very wealthy.
Just some thoughts.
regards jack
life is to enjoy.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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It is not very clear that stress of many levels can not compound a stressful situation. Life can reach that unbearable point. To imply it cant or doesnt is to trivialize others situations where that point has been reached.
When life reached that "unbearable" point what is the solution?
Im seriously curious....
Ihe condition of unbearability implies reflex withdrawal and leaves no opportunity for reasoned back stepping.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Stress can. I don't think I ever implied it could not. What I mean with the 100% is that it never becomes 101%. Instead it remains 100%, but encompasses a greater set of issues.
A natural reaction is to close off from the causative agents, sometimes the whole world. An extreme reaction is self harm or suicide
We used to call this a "Nervous Breakdown" (among other things) and seek to cure it, rather than investigate the causes.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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