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Hey all how goes sit?
I know I have not been in for a while now but things have been really crazy at home, at work, and almost at every turn I have been blocked and tested for something. So all in all it has been a crazy few months for me.
Now I need some help from you all, I am finding my life to be very monotonous of late. Some of you may be thinking how I can say this considering what I have told you about things been so crazy. But it just seems like everything I do or want to do is... well a mission.
I do not want things easy, but this constant testing of my break point is driving me to drink. My home life is falling apart around me, my mom is no longer happy in her relationship, and I can see it and it is one of oh so many things that is making me wish I could just close my eyes and when I open them again I am 5 years old and it has all gone back to normal.
But again what is normal???
I am having some really arb dreams and feelings and the feeling of not been in control is the worst of all. I know that there really are very few things that you are actually in control of but I truly feel like it has all come apart at a rate of knots.
I need something to get me interested again, not just in life but in everything. I have found the thought of relationships to be... well tedious at best, and the threat of actually having to talk to anyone petrifies me. I find the whole thing to be very labour intensive.
Oh I don't know anymore, I'm sure that I was meant to be dropped off on the planet Mars and my convoy left me here as a sick joke. Not that I don't enjoy Earth, it just feels like everyone has become so fickle and shallow.
I though of going away for a while, maybe to just spend some time alone on the beach but I just can not find the time nor the patience to do so.
So now this is my question to you all, I need to try something new, something different, something that will hold my attention for more than 10 min. So any suggestions would be great.
Thanks guys.
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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OK, first forget alcohol. It adds to depression.
Now let's look at things that will consume you with passion. I recommend something active and that requires a skill. so look at:
- sailing
- kayaking (white or flat watter, or surf)
- kite surfing
- kite boarding
- skiing
- waterskiing
- horse riding
- rollerblading
- trampolining
- swimming
Nothing there that suits you? That's ok, but let's get a few other ideas here too.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Hey Tim,
Thanks, I think that I will give horse riding a go, and how bout rollerblading,is that anything like ice-skating? I do a lot of ice skating. so maybe spending some time in the sun will be good.
Thanks
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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Hi Tempo. We haven't chatted before but I understand how you feel. "...wish I could close my eyes and when I open them again I am 5 years old and it has all gone back to normal." That brought a smile to my face and I remembered times when I felt just that way. But, as you asked, what is normal? At 5 y/o normal is all fun and play and no responsibilities. But normal at 5 isn't the same as normal at 15, and neither are the same as normal at 25, etc., etc., etc. Normal is constantly changing as we grow older.
You said something important when you referred to not feeling in control of your life. I have felt that way too and can't think of much that bothers me more.
You say, "I need something to get me interested again, not just in life but in everything." and later "I need to try something new, something different, something that will hold my attention for more than 10 minutes." In all honesty I think that is just a bandaid that will cover up the problem; I suggest that you need a lifestyle change.
What I did is not right for everyone and I'll get a lot of arguement from people on this board about what follows, but it is one suggestion.
I found that most of the problems in life were caused by other people. I've always had good fortune, good luck, a good mind, and am naturally a happy person; but life was full of hassles, hassles caused by others. So I reduced the number of people involved in my life.
I'm a recluse, a hermit, a solitary individual; in control of my life, and much happier for it. I enjoy working around my house, doing wood working and photography, all solitary hobbies. I have only a few very good, very longstanding friends. I keep my family are arms-length so that I can enjoy them and not let their problems become mine.
You (and others) may say "YUK" at such an idea and I certainly didn't become what I am overnight, or as the goal of some plan; it happened naturally over a long period, even as I fought against it. It began when I realized that to gain control of my life I had to reduce the influence that others had on it. Their influence brought problems and unhappiness that I had no control over.
One very important area of life that has always benefited me greatly is that I have a profession that I enjoy and love greatly. It isn't my job, which involves a company and coworkers, but the work that I do; I love it and it provides me with great rewards besides the money that I earn. Naturally, the greater your education the more choices you have regarding your profession, and life in general.
Not all of what I've suggested will be right for you; think about them and pick what you are comfortable with. But don't cover up the problem, make life changes that will affect the cause.
I've got to start work now. I stop by later to see what others have said about my comments, and what suggestions they have for you.
JimB
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If it is loss of control that is making you feel helpless, then most anything that you have control over could be a soothing balm. How about:
Taking up photography. Buy an inexpensive digital camera and wander about looking for some fantastic shots to take. Download them to your computer and even alter them with software. Later on you could even enter your best shots in competitions (fairs, etc) or publish them to the web.
Take a course in painting, drawing, poetry etc. Develop a new skill that will challenge you yet let you progress at your own pace and under your own control. As your skills increase, so will your sense of control over them.
Find some volunteer work. Sometimes helping people less fortunate, befriending the friendless, is the best way to forget our own problems. And it gives a sense of accomplishment and worthiness. There are even jobs to be done that don't put you into contact with others, since you say you are shy. Tell the volunteer coordinator your problem and I'm sure some tasks can be found for you. It only takes a few phone calls to get started here.
Write a story. You have ultimate control over all the characters in your story. Take a class in creative writing if necessary.
Think of a skill or hobby you already have and join a club for that skill. There are clubs for everything under the sun. And your common interests gives you a starting point for discussions with other members - to help overcome your shyness.
Start your own religion. You'll have idiots flocking to you in droves! (This last one is just because I'm silly... of course.) ::-)
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Hi what you need to do is take a holiday, and most of all break away from other peoples problems for a little while.
Take a slow deep breath and enjoy.
your mums probs will sort them selves out.
life is to enjoy.
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Re: I need some help... 
