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Hey again everyone.
So it's 12:38PM right now. And for no particular reason, I decided to go to my friend, wikipedia, and type in self-harm today.
I was just bored.
I read the symptoms they listed there, and there are a few that apply to me.
-Biting my arms.
I do this quite often when im mad. and it can be a simple thing, like taking the dog for a walk, or just plain boredom, or depresion that causes me to do it. Though, I know that I bite myself when I do. It hurts. yet in a sick way, I like it... Yes, I do have a sick mind..
Anyway.
-Poking self with pens or pencils.
I did this once in school. I remember it. I was going to the Guidance Office at my school, cuase I was sad. I had quite a few appointments with my councilor. So anyway, I was in the office, waiting for my councilor, and I saw a pencil on his deak. And I started poking myself with it.
It was a strange feeling. I poked my hand till it was numb and would have kept poking if the councillor hadnt stopped me..
I don't bite myself or anything cause i want attention! Thats not why.
I do it, because im sad, and i dont know how to express my emotions.
I remember going to a hospital once for depression. Spent a few weeks in there. I probably told you all this already. I considered it a nice break from reality...
Anyway, if you have any thoughts, or wanna talk, comment. I like comments.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Josh, all I can think to say to you at this point is, that you are only human. Yeah, depression sucks. Been feeling a little depressed lately myself. Don't feel weird, stupid or deranged cause you're not. I consider myself to be "emotionally damaged" and it wasn't my fault. I have been feeling despair as well lately. It usually goes away within a few days but some times it lingers on for a week or more. Those times you can usually find me here. It's kinda like my therapy. Hang in there bro.
Love always,
Your ~aqua-chan~
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
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This is good therapy then^^ hehe.
Thanks Aqua^_^ Love you too^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Hi josh,
are you on holiday from school.from your posts you seem to be spending a lot of time at home, some times this makes us think too much.when we should spend more time with friends, hope you dont mind my comments.
life is to enjoy.
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It's perfectly alright Jack.
I've graduated High School, and am currently on Social Assistance until I can find a job.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Hi Josh
I think jack brought up a valid point. Spending a lot of time alone also gives us a lot of opportunity to go up into our heads in nonconstructive ways. I think we can relate to ourselves better by relating to other people and interacting with them. Faceless interaction on the internet is but a poor second choice, I think. We are social animals, after all, and too much solitary time just makes us lonely and depressed.
I'll bet there are groups you could join, clubs etc, in your area. You could volunteer time with lots of organizations. You could even go to the nearest rest home and hug a grandpa. (Ohhhh.... maybe you'll find mine and hug me! Kidding - I'm not in a rest home, yet!) Anyway, just something to think about my friend.
Hugs, Paul :-*
[Updated on: Tue, 28 August 2007 20:42]
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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Thanks Paul for replying. I appreciate it.
In all honesty, the faceless interaction through he internet or through MSN or whatever, is better for me. I have a hard time meeting people. And I'm scared to approach people, as I may have said before somewhere on this board.
It's just something I'll have to get over. Eventually. But I'm letting my fears stop me from living life.
I take my dog for a walk and sometimes I go out on the highway and walk on it by myself and listen to my music. It's relaxing. Though, today, something happened while I was out there.
I was looking at the random rocks that were on the side of the road I was walking on, then I thought to myself 'wait for a car, then go in the middle...'
and BAM..
but that didnt happen. ive never tried to commit suicide, tho i have occasionally, when i was going to school, thought about it. now i dont anymore.
*hugs* thanks for commenting.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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Well then, "If Moshe won't go to the mount; then the mount must go to Moshe"
hyperbolically speaking, If Josh won't come out to play then and meet new people, then people must come to Josh.
Hello Josh,
My name's Benji, I'm a Vietnam vet, so you can guess my age. My interest are Fishing, hiking, shooting (targets)and photography. What about you?
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hey Benji.
I'm Josh. I'm 19. My interests are:
-going on the internet
-talking to myself
-having long, conversations with myself
- talking to people i like
I also hear voices in my head.
Nice to meet you.
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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You negleted to mention your dry wit and ample humor! I'm a bit of a jokester myself, Saturday I plan on taking some campaign posters out to desert (I need target practice)
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i also forgot to mention that i'm a total emo a LOT!
thats where i get into these moods where everythings dark and everyone shoud die and stuf...
oy vey...
whats your email? do you have MSN?
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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Just sent it to ya!
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i know.^^ i replied^^
~Josh~
21.
Love who you want to.
~Josh~
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Re: My self-harm problem ~Josh~ 
