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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Why do they:- Walk around the house speaking so you can hear, but not to you, yet obviously for your benefit?
- Make work where none exists (Just come back from a walk so we'll launder those clothes)?
- When asked to stop, start screaming at you because it is obviously your fault that this work has to be done?
- Set a time to go out and then achieve 15 minutes minimum lateness, despite the fact that they set the time?
- Agree to do one thing, but want to do 10 other things when you get there?
- Dress up to impress, but obviously for someone else, because you aren't allowed to touch?
- Buy anti-aging creams, and insist that they work and they need them, but oddly never suggest that you use them, too?
- Have clothes with pockets, but are never able to carry even a slim mobile phone in theirs?
- Always need paper tissues?
- Find it impossible to go to bed without a 30 minute routine of adding body moisturiser to parts of their bodies that you might have wanted to touch without it, but are then rendered unpleasantly greasy, so become highly undesirable?
- Whine, moan an wail just out of earshot, but close enough that you just know they're doing it?
- Make that moaning your fault, too, because without you, the useless lump of a man, they would not have to be/do/(verb of your choice) like this?
- Keep up a running commentary about how hard their lives are while banging and crashing around the house in order to make some point or other that you really don't care about and they've actually forgotten?
- Tell you how tired they are, and then start a marathon session of housework in order to show you how much they have to do (ideally when you can't see that it is necessary at all)?
- Do every task as noisily and "efficiently" as possible in order to show you that you are not doing any tasks at all (But you know you are not doing them)?
- Drive you away from them as hard as they possibly can, and then get upset when you accept being driven away?
- Insist that everything has to be done "now, this minute" when it patently does not?
- Push you away as hard as possible if you try to take over one of the tasks they insist are required right now, because they have decided that only they can do it, despite the fact that they are only doing it to show you that you are not doing it?
- Make you spend a shedload of money on refurnishing the living and dining rooms, and then insist that you are not able to use either for living or dining in?
- Accuse you of being aggressive when all you're doing is hiding from them or waiting for a smile or decent word?
- Save every last single incident up in their memory in order to harangue you with each last one, when you've treated them as transient and forgotten all about them?
- Say they'll do things, and appear to mean it, but, when reminded, accuse you of nagging them, even if the thing they were about to do was going to be pleasurable for them, like phoning one of their friends (they are, of course, "not in the mood" because they did all that hard work they invented to show you what a heel you were being, and are thus too tired)?
- Suggest that they would like company watching TV, but when you dedicate yourself to watching something "with" them, watch while reading a book or the newspaper?
- Make you believe that they like you, but, when you respond, take a knife to your testicles and remove them, little by little?
- Promise never to let the sun set on a row, but absolutely refuse to make up for days, weeks, months?
- Carefully contrive to misunderstand even the simplest thing in order to precipitate a row today, tomorrow or in a few years time?
I very much doubt I ever will understand women. I have no idea why I fell in love with one. And she holds me accountable every day for ruining her life by marrying her, yet says that she loves me.
Go figure.
[Updated on: Sun, 30 September 2007 20:39]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Hi Timmy ,
She is in the change of life. female menopause hope i have spelt it correctly.
yes she has changed so have you if you stop and think about it.
Best thing is to get yourself a mp3 player, secondly agree with everything she says, then enjoy
life is to enjoy.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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No. That change came with a hysterical rectum several years ago. She is just a woman.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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Oh well still stick to the mp3 and still agree.
i think men moan just as much as women.
i cook a meal on Saturday nights it could be Asian or moroccon style, i do have to be careful not to critise her food when she cooks it.
the Kitchen has always been her domain but now i take an interest in food some times i get the impression i am treading on her toes.
life is to enjoy.
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I was going to suggest the menopause thing, too.
[Updated on: Wed, 21 May 2008 10:01]
Cycling is the one sport where a guy can shave his legs, wear spandex and bright colors, and be accepted.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Print this out, poster size, frame it and place it in the sitting room.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I try really hard to do nice things, to be "good", to be considerate, to help around the house. On top of this I have the stress of not knowing exactly what's going to happen, day by day, to my mother in hospital. I also have a very uncertain income. I either earn a load, or nothing.
Knowing I'm gay I try to be a really good husband. I've tried to be an awesome lover, and I'm pretty good at it - it's just a science, after all. Not that I've been allowed to show it for a year, more than a year. But I'm always criticised, always in the wrong, always the one to be blamed for any disaster, always the one to be screamed at, always the one to be ignored.
Weekends she buys the saturday papers to read all weekend so she doesn't have to be anywhere with me in her head. I don't think she knows she does it. Any time it's time to go to bed and I might be coming to bed at the same time she picks a minor fight to ensure no closeness.
I agree with the "separate weekends" thing. I have good friends I need to go and see, and want to go and see in Wales, but I also have to visit the hospital. I can't go away.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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When I want to commit assisted suicide, that will be a great idea
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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Though humans demonstrate much greater diversity than the rest of the animal kingdom, in my opinion you have described a typical female. They are frequently even more different from men emotionally than they are different physically. If another woman observed your wife's behaviour she wouldn't question it; wouldn't even think it odd.
I would suggest that you stop trying to understand her as it is likely impossible.
In addition, if you think about it, expecially givin your vast experience with this forum, there are probably many men that you can't figure out either. But with them you just shrug it off. You don't do that with your wife because you want harmony in your home, you want her to be happy, you care more because it directly effects the quality of your life.
Perhaps shrugging it off would actually result in more harmony.
One of the more difficuly aspects of a permanent relationship is adjusting to the changes that take place in your partner over the years. I also think that Scott's post-script is an excellent idea that I have known to work with other couples.
JimB
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 19:55] |
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A Hymn for Him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qFcRR0AqdQ
david
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Encore!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I have sent this infuriating one an ecard that she will pick up at work, telling her that I love her.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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My Dad is fifty-two and my Mom is fifty-one. They will celebrate their thirtieth wedding anniversary this year. My two older sisters and I are making big plans for it. They married in college and supported each other through nursing school for Mom and medical school for Dad, and his internships and residencies. Times my Dad says "when we didn't have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of." My eldest sister is twenty-eight and my next oldest sister is twenty-five. So there was a little wait until I arrived. About eighteen years ago something happend in my parent's marriage.
The sisters were old enough to know, but they refuse to tell me. I'm not all that curious, but it concerned my parents, and it must have been some rocky patch. they went away on a cruise to rediscover their marriage, and my mom got off the boat pregnant with me, and I understand that was a real surprise.
Over the years I know my 'rents have had serious arguments. They argue and make up, and I've heard them arguing into the night because my bedroom wall is against part of their bedroom. Then I hear the lovemaking, and I know things are back on an even keel.
So I must be lucky. After 31 years, a serious crisis, arguments, and all the shit I put them through, and all the stupid stunts I've pulled, they're still together and in love, and still making love three times a week.
I read this list, and it's really funny, but not a single thing goes on in our house. Any yelling is usually along the lines of "For the love of God Jonathan, can't you use just a little bit of common sense?"
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Whitewaterkid wrote:
Any yelling is usually along the lines of "For the love of God jonathan, can't you use just a little bit of common sense?"
Ah, I see that during those 30 years your Mum and Dad have learned to speak perfect Parentese. 
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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Yeah, man if there's one thing my parents have learned over the years it's 'Rent Speak. I wonder what happens to totally cool twenty-somethings when they get pregnant? There must be some weird parent hormone that gets triggered. New moms go all protective and less and less laid back, and new dads turn in their '65 Chevelles and buy Volvo station wagons and learn interesting new things like how to make erring sons feel guilty, and how to make them feel parental disappointment by just giving guys "The Look."
You know, it really is hard work educating the 'rents. My 'rents used to be mega stupid, and I mean totally embarrassmentamundo. But lately they must have grown new brain cells or something because it's really cool how much they've learned in the last year. My Dad is actually turning into a totally decent friend! He still goes off on occasion. I understand though, fathers in general need to paw the ground every so often, let you know who's boss, right? But he's cool. And Mom, well, she's great.
[Updated on: Mon, 01 October 2007 15:50] |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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Kids don't come with an instruction manual. And only women would read one anyway!
Parents ought to learn to relax controls and add responsibility - ideally a tad more than the kid is capable of handling, continually. And they need to make the distinction between friend and parent and make the switch between the two very clear.
I still don't understand women
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 19:54] |
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Mon, 01 October 2007 21:39]
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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And you know Michael, this really is the truth. he got smart, but I think I grew up too.
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ROFLMAO...Roger, would you write me a letter to that effect? Like a get-out-of-detention card.
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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Nah. He got smarter but you stayed dumb as ever. ROFLMAO. Love you!!!
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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What's this? Insurance? You've never been in detention in your life! You always manage to skate out! ROFLMAO!!!
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Why did I figure he didnt need a pass. You probably dont either. Im not so sure about Curtis.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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Whitewaterkid wrote:
> ...
>
> You know, it really is hard work educating the 'rents. My 'rents used to be >mega stupid, and I mean totally embarrassmentamundo. But lately they must >have grown new brain cells or something because it's really cool how much >they've learned in the last year. My Dad is actually turning into a totally >decent friend! He still goes off on occasion. I understand though, fathers in >general need to paw the ground every so often, let you know who's boss, >right? But he's cool. And Mom, well, she's great.
"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But, when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."
--Mark Twain
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAOEOh0tIFo
I suppose that would be a suitable encore.
I actually sung A Hymn For Him at a Kareoke bar on Saturday.
I love My Fair Lady.
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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ack, you beat me to it, that'll teach me to reply to a post before I read all of the replies to a post.
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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Oh man! We're going to get Curt and Jeff to come out here to the coast and we're going to have the best week ever all together next summer. Sailing, fishing, we'll do some scuba on a few old wrecks. Total fun.
Curt doesn't need a pass neither. Like Jon and me he is a master at avoiding blame!
Actually Jonny and I have been in detention but we have never been suspended. We just never got caught.
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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My favorite line from all of Twain is when huck says, "Well alright then, I'll go to hell!" Like Jon says, "Dudes! If there really is a heaven, and the Southern Baptists think they're going there, and there really is a hell, what shit-for-brains would ever wanna be in heaven?"
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I have never understood women 
Re: I have never understood women 
