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unsui
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Likes it here |
Registered: September 2007
Messages: 338
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 24 October 2008 19:54] |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think only Roger is qualified to answer this in terms of long term relationships. I do know of others, but they do not visit the board.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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I had a relationship that lasted 12+ tears and was abruptly ended by a street incident in New York City in 1980.
It was whirlwind, exciting, romantic, exciting, erotic, adventurous and most of all it was fullfilling.... We went to the same school (undergrad) moved togather to the UK for grad school.... We worked together in a carreer that was so well paid it was obscene and we enjoyed travel and all the perks that go along with what we were doing. We had a perfect life together.
I love him still to this day and would give everything including my life to hold him one more time for just 10 seconds....
I miss him every day....
My second relationship, Well that began about the year 2000, it was whirlwind but of a different sort.
We made a committment, legally, in Vermont.... That didnt seem to be worth the paper it was printed on.
So much for that....
He left for an online romance last February 3rd....
Oh well....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Oh really???????????????????
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I am still trying to deal with my problems but I will try and answer this. When I was younger in college I could have had a hundred week end lovers. That wasnt what I wanted. I had someone stalk me who turned out to be the most loving generous, understanding person I have ever met or hope to ever meet.
I wont tell you our relationship was a story book fairy tail. We had our moments. We argued and got all bent out of shape, but we always made up. we never went to sleep mad at each other. We talked and we worked things out. I dont know the exact relationship Timmy has with his wife, all I can say is, its a good one. I know Timmy loves his wife and for sure loves his son. I assume that his wife loves him just as much. she is willing to understand and accept timmy like he is. Mark took me with all my flaws and habits and loved me unconditionaly and I loved him the same. I looked at all his flaws and ways of doing things and just smiled because thats what made him him. We made compromises just like any couple. Its always give and take. We never let jealousy enter into our realationship. that is the worst thing that can happen. That means you dont trust your mate. We didnt smother each other. Mark has his friends and I had mine and we both had friends together. He liked to spend friday nights playing bridge, sorry not my cup of tea, so I stayed home and read. I spent over 30 years with a very wonderful man and Im thankful for every minute I had with him.
[Updated on: Sun, 30 September 2007 21:41]
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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JimB
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Likes it here |
Registered: December 2006
Messages: 349
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I have been in both kinds of relationships and don't find much difference in what makes them work. There has to be:
Compatibility
Trust
Loyality
Give and take
Desire and effort to make it work
What you have learned that caused your marriages to fail and caused them to succeed would be the same if they had been same-sex relationships. I have friends who's wives love watching sports with a house full of guys. I have men friends who love going to the opera or ballet with their wives. Were they that way to begin with, not necessarily; that's part of the work that goes into a successfull relationship.
I wasn't into bicycle riding but got into it because my partner enjoyed it. It turned out to be a very good form of exercise that we enjoyed together. The same thing happened regarding dancing, though I never enjoyed it as much.
As I said in the other thread, men have their own idiosyncrasies, just like women do and their partner must adapt to them for the relationship to succeed. I don't find that it matters if the partners are of the same sex or not.
JimB
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I was not thinking of a dozen years as long term, my friend. I am serving a life sentence here!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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2 and a half years is hardly long-term to the degree of timmy's marriage, but it's still far past the honeymoon period.
I think one of the biggest assets I've seen in same-sex relationships is that I'm on the same wavelength as Ryan. We're both male and we're both beings of logic more than emotion. Neither of us holds emotional grudges in the way I've seen females in my family do. All our anger is short lived and usually just short-term frustration and annoyance. Of course, there's been no serious "hiccups" in our relationship- like cheating and the like. Though we discuss the possibility of a more open relationship in the future.
Overall I'm sure it's not too different to a long-term straight relationship. I think, though, that a long-term gay relationship is helped by same-gendered brains. Though perhaps hindered by the male tendency to wander.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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