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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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He is jaw droppingly gorgeous. He isn't known to be gay, or str8. He is just gorgeous. and you have not met or spoken, nor will you.
He raises animal lust in you. You want to be with him and do something together. Something.
But what?
The reason I ask is that I am writing a book at present, about a young gay teen, unsure of himself, growing up. I know I was desperately attracted to many boys. I know I wanted to "do stuff", but I can't get a handle on what I wanted to do!
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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As a young teen... I would always start slow.....
A little light show and tell....... which i would quickly progress to "hey, lemme see it its bigger than mine or not."
once the dinentional paramaters were established i would suggest a little , "i'll suck you off if you suck me."......
The good stuff would happen once we bacame bored with mundane oral sex....
That usually would happen about the second encounter..... "Hey, if you loke that.... you'll LOVE this..."
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Like you Timmy I wanted to do something. I wanted to feel to caress, to hold. I dont think giving a blow job enteres my mind but I wanted to look at and feel his penis.Im sure at some point it would have led to a blow job but not initially.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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Between the ages of about five and twelve / thirteen I wanted to hug, cuddle, and to wank him. I always dreamed of being the initiatator / active party. And a few bondage fantasies, with some S&M - I was a very dominant kid ... quite possibly as a a reaction to a physically abusive father.
Between twelve / thirteen and sixteen, I wanted US to hug, cuddle, and wank each other. I wanted to be "best friends". I wanted to think that anal sex was not impossible at some point in the future, when we had grown older together. I wanted to hold hands and walk over the downs at sunset with the wind in our hair. I wanted someone to show and tell me that I was not worthless. I was a romantic adolescent!
From about sixteen onwards I knew that I wanted anal sex (blowjobs have never held any appeal for me - neither giving nor receiving) - I pretended to myself that I wanted to "top", because it seemed less gay, but actually I was always fighting not to see myself as a "bottom". And from the end of my teens I knew that for me there is a deep association between giving myself emotionally to someone and giving myself physically as a "bottom" - that seems to be my settled adult state.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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hold, hug, smell, kiss
I'm also a bottom so that would be the next natural thought for me but not the first thought.
smell is a big thing for me. I love the smell of a guy.
It's always the old to lead us to the war
It's always the young to fall
Now look at all we've won with the sabre and the gun
Tell me is it worth it all
~Phil Ochs "I Aint Marching Anymore"
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I would just want to be with him, going to a movie, coffee, watching a movie at home, to just be together.
And with time you will know more, like who he is, what he likes, what he is, and then take it from there. To rush into things when you don't know "A" about your sexual pref or his and "B" if you do not know each other from a bar of soap.
And a young teen leaves things very... well... "open" . Age plays a big part of what you want to do, like NW said.
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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That is more practical. What do you WANT to do. You are inlust wuth this demigod, perhaps you'll never ever get close.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I never really got that far.
All I wanted was to be able to approach, hug, talk, touch, acknowledge that there was something more than friendship, be a little bit intimate -- what held me back was principally my own fear of being 'gay', not whether he would ever be interested in me (I early on came to the conclusion that no-one would, anyway).
It was certainly a sexual attraction, but sex was never the purpose -- even now, it would still not be. Sex, for me, goes with love, not lust.
David
[Updated on: Thu, 04 October 2007 11:31]
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No guy.... NO guy.... would refuse a blowjob.... str8, gay, unknown, celebet (sp).... Not one would refuse.
Once the button is pressed and the launch sequence is enabled, there is no shutdown.
As far as age is concerned, the parameters set in the opening post was young teen..... I take that as being 12 to 14 years old....
When I was that age, there was no doubt in my mind that someone, anyone I chose to fool around with would be willing, ready, and, an able participant.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Well in light of that, I think I would really have to change muy mind.
I would want to pillage his body, make every muscle tense, make every nerve ending burn, make every hair stand on end.
I would want to build him up, make him mine and then break him down.
I would want him so bad that he would be able to smell my lust. This boy is meat and I must eat...;-D
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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I'm sitting here in English again, and Eldon and I are bored, and Danny is openly writing to his girlfriend and doesn't care if the teacher knows it. We're supposed to be completing our weekly writing assignments which I had finished on Monday afternoon, so rather than surf the Internet I thought I might just as well write something here. It's Expository Writing after all.
When I was a freshman (year 9 to you British dudes) I went out for the wrestling team. After practices both the junior varsity and the varsity teams all did the locker room and shower thing together, and I got a real eyefull of some of the studliest boys in my school. I didn't understand the curiosity in me then, and was interested in dating only girls. What ws wrong with me? Was I gay? Why was I so worried about what Thom would think about me, and if he liked me?
Thom was a senior. He was muscled and totally buff, dark blond hair and green eyes. He wasn't all that cute or goodlooking, but his personality made you look beyond the exterior. He had a ready smile, and a friendly way with underclassmen like me, unlike most senior boys. I guess he was eighteen then, and I was fascinated with how physically mature he was. He not only had leg hair, but a faint dusting of chest hair too, and the hair on his body was that honey brown color that was lighter where he was suntanned. He was the first male I think I had a crush on, at least a crush I remember. As luck would have it, his locker was near mine, and we undressed and showered and redressed every day in sight of each other. I am circumcised, and he wasn't, and that was just another layer of interest. I think I memorized every detail of his body by the second day of practice.
I don't know what I wanted him to do with me, or what I would have done with him. Sex with other boys hadn't progressed much beyond the ordinary joint masturbation sessions looking at Playboy magazines. Did boys have sex with each other? How? Oh, no! Not that way! Yuck, that's so gross! Ewwww!
But at practice, when we paired up with the varsity boys who were supposed to teach and tutor us in wrestling holds, Thom always seemed to pick me. I liked feeling his arms around me, and feeling his body and the heat that radiated off him. And I liked the smell of his sweat, and how it was a mixture of soap and salt and something else. And it was the something else that was so mysterious, and so confusing, and so arousing. I started thinking about him at night when I was doing what boys do to themselves at night, alone in the privacy of their bedrooms.
There are certain hold in wrestling that are so intimate, and so invasive of the other boy's most private places that sometimes, well, boys get sexually aroused. One day it happened to me, and he knew it. I mean, he couldn't help but know it since his hand was right on it!
I was so embarrassed and so mortified I wanted to die, and I thought I had to leave the team I was so disgraced and how could he be my friend and like me and how... and then he said the magic words "Don't worry about it bud, it happens to all of us."
I started to think about Thom in a sexual way, wondering what "letting him do that to me" would feel like. Would he let me do "that" to him? Just what was the "that?"
It took another three years for me to discover just how good the "that" can be with another boy. I wish I hadn't waited.
[Updated on: Thu, 04 October 2007 12:58]
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I fear they do nothing for me. But that's because surgery rather filleted my penis. When I was a teenager I'd have been very nervous of the idea, but intrigued enough to try
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I know I'm unusual, but really blow-jobs don't interest me in the least. I've given a few, had a few, where that was part of making my lover happy. A quick bit of licking the lollipop is fun as foreplay ( after all, if one's nibbling one's way up from kneecaps to navel, it would be silly to miss out the middle bit!), but not as a main course!
Of course, in my ealy teens before I'd had my first blowjob, I'd've said "yes" - but purely because I was curious.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Well, nervousness to do the deed when it is totaly new untrodden ground is across the board a standard response....
After all, when, at that first moment, when you are on your knees, staring the cyclops dead in the eye, a tongues flick away, the warmth of its massive form and the raging pulsing sensations flow and ebb with each breath he, and you, take, as his heart beats a chorus of "cum hither my sweet love"
Of course there is tha moment of doubt, of tasting the place where he pees... Of the wonder if he will shoot right off... if it will be hideously nasty and only the stuff of urban legand...
But then, with a lean forward and a brush of the lips, first contact being made there leaves little more than the big plunge and the wonders of what awaits when its your own turn to grab him by the ears and royally skull fuck him....
Ahhh...... the magic nectar of youth....
[Updated on: Thu, 04 October 2007 19:17]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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When I first admitted that I was gay and was maddly in love with my best friend I had a vague idea of what to do. Mostly from what you hear from other boys. It was the mechanics that was beyond me. All I know was that I wanted Jeff in my arms more than life. Jon helped explain things some but it took doing it and exploring to really get comfortable with it. the sex is great, but when I curl up against Jeff and he puts his arms around me and plays with my hair and whispers how much he loves me. Thats more than sex ever could be.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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Yeh, but Ive been told anal sex hurts really bad. I want to do it with Jeff but hes sorta big and Im kinda scared he will rip me open. Jon and Eldon both say it hurts. Either they are doing something wrong or its not everything its said to be.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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Dude, I don't think that Jon and I are doing things wrong or right. I think Jon would agree that it does hurt, and that we could probably get used to it if we were willing to go through the learning process. It's just that we enjoy doing the other stuff so much that there's no need to work at getting used to anal intercourse. You and I talked about this on the IM, and you can ask me again if you need to.
There is one other aspect of the anal intersourse thing that Jon and I talked over, and it is that we can do everything else mutually, but one guy has to submit to the other in anal intercourse. In that act there's a dominant partner and a passive partner. I don't think Jon and I are into dominating each other. But that's just the we he and I think. You and Jeff have to find your own way through this.
I did tell you this, and I want to repeat it. You HAVE to work up to taking something up there. One finger, two fingers, get used to that, three fingers and get used to that. Don't let him just take you without any prep.
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Dude, I know we talked about it. Ive tried the finger thing and the 3rd finger hurts. How much fun can it be if you have to go thru all that to do it. If your partner is really big well thats scarry. But guys talk like its like the ultimate in sex and how wonderful it is. I dont know. If both partners swap up then the aggression question is sorta null. Ive come to realize tho that Jeff is the more dominate of the two of us. I cant help it I just melt and let him lead.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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I know who you mean. He was a nice guy. If I didnt know you so well it would be easy to be jealous.
This was well written. For you that is. ROFLMAO. You must pay attention in English more often than I thought.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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You have some major misunderstandings about dominance. I have discussed this at length with some very heavy BDSM friends. But first, being penetrated is absolutely not being dominated, nor is penetrating dominating. The converse is not the case either. Dominance is a state of mind, not a phsyical state to do with penetration.
In a dom/sub relationship all, repeat all, the power is with the submissive person. They have the power to withhold dominance from the dominant person. A paradox, but true. Without the sub's willingness to be dominated the dom has no power of domination, thus the sub is really the dom!
Now the pain. The anus is a set of muscles. They need to be trained to relax. After that anal sex is painless, unless the penetrated party chooses pain purposely. You need to read the series of articles here: http://iomfats.org/resources/
Start at the first and work your way through. Learn about your own body before learning on your partner.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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nevermind
[Updated on: Fri, 05 October 2007 10:54]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Curtis,
Whats most important when you are intimate with your other half is that you are both... thats right both... comfortable with everything you do.
Anal sex is but one way to experience the act of love between two boys. If you are happy with other activities and they satisfy your urge to please your partner and vice versa.....
Then you have it right 100%.....
And thats what it's all about.....
Never do anything that you are not comfortable with..... in the end it will only diminish the thrill of the act.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I think what they were talking about is a far cry from rape. Rape is an act of power over someone. Consensual sex between two lovers is very different.both parties submit to each other because of love and the sex is not brutal and demeaning. Curtis, it is not bad to be submissive to your partner if that is how you feel at the time. There were times when I would melt when I was with Mark and I was putty in his hands. A relationship is give and take and love is a compromise.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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as well
[Updated on: Fri, 05 October 2007 10:55]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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saben
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On fire! |
Registered: May 2003
Messages: 1537
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If the book is set today, then a lot of guys will outright reject show-and-tell. I know, because I tried when I was younger!
"No way, that's gay" isn't an uncommon response to anything involving dicks as a 13-14 year old. That is why I hate just how public and controversial being gay is. There was a time when men weren't quite so locked into their sexuality and would put up with a blow job from another guy. Now the homophobia towards gay sex, in some ways, has increased, even from the most accepting people.
"I don't mind if you're gay, but I'm not doing anything gay" is the mentality.
Look at this tree. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me nor make it bear fruit before its time [...] No matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Master Oogway
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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While deeply unpleasant as an experience, how on earth do you think that was appropriate for this thread? If you want to discuss that, please use another thread. The question is rhetorical.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I'm sure you're right on this one, Saben.
When I was in my teens (at least, where I grew up), the prevalent model was "most boys have a phase where they mess around with other boys, but they grow out of it when they discover girls". This may have made casual sex with other boys quite a lot easier, but didn't do anything for helping some of us admit to ourselves that were were gay and looking for long-term boyfriends.
I think adolescence is a time of trying to find oneself, of trying on different labels, etc. The sad thing is that same-sex sex and opposite-sex sex are increasingly seen as exclusive, that one has to wear a label of either "gay" or "straight", when many people are not actually that exclusive. But I don't necessarily think that this means "I don't mind if you're gay, but I'm not doing anything gay" is really homophobic.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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There is a very wonderful pair of drawings by a Czech artist called (I think) Mario Dubsky. One shows a rather scared-looking guy on all fours, looking back over his shoulder at his lover, and is titled "Submission". The other shows a relaxed and welcoming-looking guy, on his back with his knees drawn up, looking forwards, and titled "Admission". (I won't scan and post them here 'cos of copyright and showing naughty bits!)
I found thinking about the differences in the mental attitudes shown in these two pictures really helpful in clarifying my own views on being a "bottom": "admission" for me carries the same overtones as letting someone into my flat / room / body so we can do fun things together - a whole different set of associations from "submission".
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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The book's setting is 1965 through 1970, so the "phase thing" was highly relevant, but the whole concept of homosexuality was highly controversial in the UK. It details the true struggle of one kid, me, to grow up in this odd and both free and oppressive environment.
Part of that is the desire to "do something" while having no clear concept of what that "something" is. The difference for the gay child, me, and the str8 child (the me I thought I was until September 1965) is that the str8 child is told "See these diagrams. This is a penis, that is a vagina. This goes in that."
Even so, that is a mechanical process. I can't imagine being str8 and in love with a girl and just wanting to "put this in that", and that is what I am trying very hard to get hold of.
Boys do not, I think, want to put a penis in an anus. I think that is a learned behaviour in some ways, and semi-instinctive in others. And I don't think a boy instinctively wishes for a penis in his anus. I know, in me at least, that is a learned desire.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I wish I'd known those pictures existed. They express a great deal of what I was trying to say and failed to achieve so well.
I very much see the "Admission" side as being part of a loving act.
There is then the rather complex difference between submitting to an unwlecome act and submitting to an act which is by permission, albeit in a submissive and roll played roll. I think I would draw a third picture for this "Permission" which is absolutely not fearful, and yet is truly submissive.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Fri, 05 October 2007 10:52]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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timmy wrote:
>
> Even so, that is a mechanical process. I can't imagine being str8 and in love with a girl and just wanting to "put this in that", and that is what I am trying very hard to get hold of.
>
> Boys do not, I think, want to put a penis in an anus. I think that is a learned behaviour in some ways, and semi-instinctive in others. And I don't think a boy instinctively wishes for a penis in his anus. I know, in me at least, that is a learned desire.
timmy, I don't think it's that complicated. I think that for many people, sexual desire is initially unfocussed (though often triggered by a particular gender), and with experience and consistent fantasies people gradually find what works for them. For all guys, that includes things like whether or not one finds having one's nipples licked a turn-on (I'm nipple-dead), one's throat licked (yum!), ear nibbled (no firm ideas) ... and whether one's anus and prostate are erotically sensitive (some men are bum-dead). It includes what parts of a partner it feels right to concentrate on (I gather from my female friends that some straight guys really go for playing with tits, others don't: I'm not keen on blow jobs though many gay guys are). I don't think it's any more mysterious than the gradual transition between "I'm hungry" and "I really feel like a steak tonight" - a gradual focussing of an original drive.
My great memory of my teens was that I'd try any experience that I was offered ... that way I found out what I enjoyed and what I didn't. If I'm unusual, it's probably that at that age I had so little sense of self-preservation that I usually just "went for it" regardless of consequence, so may have acted out a few more things than my contemporaries.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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Not at all. The lads asked or opinined about dominance and submission and pain. No-one took it down the rape road until you did. And it is not going down that road. I care that you were raped. I care deeply. But I also do not care to see it in this thread. If you want to discuss this further, go to another thread. This particular line is closed. I will delete further discussions on rape that appear in this thread.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Curt, don't sweat this so much. It's like the swineherder said, just be comfortable with what the two of you do together. Believe me, you'll discover what works and what doesn't for you both. Every couple is different Curt. Like what works for Eldon and me, isn't what other guys enjoy. And what worked for Debbie and me isn't what turns on Eldon and Brittany.
You can listen to all the advice from all the experts and in the end it's what you two like with each other.
SAT's tomorrow. Then we're all cuttin' loose and partying.
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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The WHAT? THE WHAT? Now I'm "The Swineherd???"
You just wait till I get to your house tonight! I'll show you what "swineherding" all about pretty boy!!!
SQUEAL LIKE A PIG, BOY!
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It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
* Ralph Waldo Emerson
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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OieeeeeeeeeenK
OieeeeeeeeeenK
OieeeeeeeeeenK!!!!
you can herd my little piggie anytime you want farm boy!
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A lifetime with him wouldn't be equal to an hour with you farm boy.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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They pretty much equate to what I was recalling. An indefinable urge to be with, to touch, and yet not even really to be undressed. A major desire for a special companionship and acceptance of whatever else happened as a bonus
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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