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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13800
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I have been thinking about this question. I don't mean "how did you get here?" I mean "What led you to post here?" An answer might be "I wondered what being gay was all about", or "I was struggling with being gay" or something like that.
For myself I created this forum (initially on a free forum server) after using other boards because I was not yet ready to admit to myself that I was gay. So this is an extension of my "life" on those other boards. And my reason for posting was to be able to understand that "gay is not a bad thing to be" and let myself admit it (though that part was hidden from me at first).
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I was drawn by the invitation on your home page:
If you are troubled, some like to call it confused, about your personal orientation, you may find answers by following the links to various Messageboards.
"Confused" sums me up quite well.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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One day you asked me, "Should I do it?"
I said yes......
You did it......
Josey posted...... then I posted.....
It was a no brainer.....
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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No Message Body
[Updated on: Wed, 21 May 2008 10:07]
Cycling is the one sport where a guy can shave his legs, wear spandex and bright colors, and be accepted.
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I was having some kind of a mid-life crisis, having had to stop working due to becoming disabled ... and so finding myself with time to actually think about all kinds of things. One of which was to do with my first lover, at the start of my teens, and gradually admitting to myself that it was, in essence, a sexually abusive relationship. Another of my concerns was my relationship with my father, who had been physically abusive when I was a kid, and who I spent 20 years not speaking to.
I lurked here for a while, and then there were a couple of topics which touched on such issues - that was what started me posting, and when I'd built up a bit of confidence, I was able to ask for some advice about abuse issues myself.
"The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral, begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy. ... Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night devoid of stars." Martin Luther King
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Well, I've been here since I was 16 or 17, which seems an awfully long time ago now. But, for at least half that time, I was just lurking. I guess I wasn't able to label my sexuality then, and I hoped that places like this might be able to help me work it out. But I didn't really (save a couple of tentative, terrified posts) dare to post, for fear of committing myself to something I wasn't happy with. I haven't really found a label since, but I'm comfortable with not having one.
I posted here because you encouraged me to. Or rather, we exchanged a few emails and talked on MSN (and the phone? at some point, anyway), and then you posted here about the remarkable coincidence that we knew each other already (slightly), which spurred me into posting myself. If it hadn't been for that coincidence there's a very good chance that I'd not have made contact with you through the board, nor posted here, nor met several board members in real life. It's a bit weird to think about, actually.
David
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I remember i read Chris and Nigel and then when on to read Grasshoper's stories. I sent him an e-mail and he made an invitation to this messageboard so that i could have my questions answered.
At the time i was going through my first relationship with a guy and i wanted to know how others dealt with relationships. I didn't want to just read a story, but also hear from real people. I found the courage to post and stuck around. Although not as active as other members, i do come and read few times a week.
You don't love someone because they are beautiful, they are beautiful because you love them.
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I found your story board through a link from another board and from there I found my way here. It seemed a nice friendly group so I started posting. I was branded a trouble maker and stoned with very hard words....so I left. Now I'm reborn as a handsome agreeable older gentleman. If I can't be nice I'll be quiet or leave quietly for another year or two until I cool off. :-*
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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Wow, just how long has this site been up? I'm not sure which site led me to IOMFATS, but I started just reading and following the stories posted. One day I was bored (no offense, just ran out of reading) and checked the forum, I think I posted something about Popeye being gay.
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... it was a long time ago, and I really can't remember.
I know that we exchanged e-mails and IM'd, but I'm not sure what came first. Chris and Nigel had something to do with it, though!
But rest assured - I'm glad I came, and this place means a hell of a lot to me!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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Some of you will know what I mean when I say what Im saying. This place has been a life saver for me and helped me maintain my sanity. I ran accross the forum by accident and things went from there. There was a rough time and there were several of you helped pull me thru and for that Im forever grateful, to those I give my undying love.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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I can't remember, but I think it had something to do with the short story competition Timmy ran one summer. At the time I was a writer looking for a home.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
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jack
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Likes it here |
Location: England
Registered: September 2006
Messages: 304
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emmm
I found the site by surfing perhaps gay books etc
but liked the site and pop in from time 2 time.
I also have a young mind and can relate th the authors.
::-)
life is to enjoy.
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I followed a link to IOMFATS from an adult story site and really liked the atmosphere and the stories here. Eventually, I started lurking in the forum. As an older American, I enjoy the intergenerational and intercultural communication. I post on the rare occasions that I think I can add something worthwhile to a discussion.
peter
"Tu non altro che il canto avrai del figlio, o materna mia terra..."
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It wasn't until after Timmy hosted me on his story site that I discovered the forum site. And I post here because I'm a loud mouth  )
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
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About 10 years ago I discovered the forum of the now defunct Glass Onion. I was so deep in the closet that I was a confirmed lurker. One day someone posted something that really struck a note with me and I took my courage into my own two hands and emailed him. He persuaded me that the sky would not fall if I posted, which I occasionally did. Timmy was one of the regular posters in that forum and when he formed his own forum I joined that as a matter of course.
I clearly recall the response I got to my first email to Timmy. At that time my email address was a function of my telephone number (because the ISP was our telephone provider). Timmy wrote "That's one hell of an email address!" And that's how our friendship started and I have been here ever since.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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Three years ago I was still in the darkest corner of my closet, and increasingly frustrated and also scared, because I realized that I couldn't stay there much longer.
I had stumbled upon internet sites with gay stories, and discovered that some of the stories could have been about me. As far as I remember, my way to the forum went via the Iomfats Story Shelf.
This forum and my new friends here mean an awful lot to me, and I am forever grateful to you, Timmy, for running this place.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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HI!!!!!!! Waves....~~~~~
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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I do not understand what's going on with me.
I think I'm comfortable with who I am, yet I have felt an urge to explore gay life for at least the last twenty years. I volunteered to help Stonewall and even got to attend one of their board meetings (with my wife! - they actually let a straight woman sit in a board meeting!) AND I took the minutes; I volunteered to help the local AIDS charity in Bristol; I explored the web for gay pictures and then for gay stories (it's like radio compared with television: the 'pictures' in the stories are better) and found the stories more of a turn-on than the pictures. So I found my way to IOMFATS and read many of the stories and then found this forum earlier this year.
Then, of course, I read something I disagreed with (or maybe it was something I agreed with so strongly I wanted to cheer - I can't remember which) and felt I had to put my two bits in.
I'd like to help, but am scared to be thought a dirty old man - especially since I think I probably am! In a fortnight I'm being Father Christmas at a school Christmas Fair so I don't really think I'm that bad. I'd particularly like to help people who are being bullied for being gay. When I was governor at a local school I nearly got involved but the teacher in charge of the school's 'anti-bullying' initiative just didn't seem to me to be the right person nor was he doing the right things to scratch the surface of the problem. Anyway I got so cross with the way the chair of governors was doing things that I resigned.
I guess I'm one of the 'confused' but next month I'll be 73 years old.
Anthony
PS After all that I'm wondering if you really wanted to know.
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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As long as you are completly upfront with yourself as far as age and keep conversation on a proper level of decorum there is no reason to misinterpret your intention to help someone.
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Anthony we are not dirty old men. Yes they do exist and Like Timmy says they probably lurk here watching the board but they are not posters here. The concept of this forum was and is to help those who need a place to come and just be themselves. There are several young men who come here to post and we all enjoy thier company and their input and if one has a problem he can get advice from us who have lived a bit longer and experienced more of life. So sit back, relax and enjoy.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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Sorry, Roger, I wasn't serious - I know I'm not a **nasty** dirty old man but at the same time a lot of the people I know would think I was if they knew all about me - maybe even as much about me as I've shown here. One of the nice things about "A Place of Safety" is that I feel even my small inhibitions can be abandoned.
I'm really much happier with who I am than many people (may I say even than Timmy) - because I don't think I've ever seriously wanted not to be gay or bi or whatever I am. (I don't want to get into the problem of labels.)
So please allow me to go on putting myself down on occasion; I'll try to make the tongue in my cheek a bit more obvious.
Anthony
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