|
|
|
|
when You fall in love with two guys who are already lovers?
just me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I would slowly turn around and walk away as quickly as I could from this situation. Unless you are looking for a lot of drama and heartache, I would not persue any arrangement of this kind. Just a suggestion from my point of view though. I have seen stranger things happen and work out well.
aqua
PS. I wish you luck and hope things go well for you if you decide to " go for it"
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love. Washington Irving
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
 |
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Seth McDaniel wrote:
> when You fall in love with two guys who are already lovers?
You walk away......
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Even if you were to hang around, hoping that some miracle could occur in the future that would give you an opportunity here, the miracle itself would bring heartache. What if they were to split up and give you a clean playing field? You say you love both of them. Could you become the boyfriend of one and ignore the pain it would bring the other?
I haven't found myself in this situation but I realize it has to be giving you great emotional distress. Remove yourself from the situation the best way you can and begin the search for someone unattached. I think a new love is the only way to relieve the ache of an old one. And don't do the adolescent thing of hanging on to the pain as though it were a treasure trove of misery. It's just misery, and well worth getting over.
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cossie
|
 |
On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
|
|
|
... and that doesn't happen all that often!
Yes, I think you should walk away. If your friends love each other, the probability that a 'third wheel' could be assimilated is pretty small; the overwhelmingly probable scenario is that you will be firmly rejected (but that would be fair enough, as you were the one trying to change the status quo), or your involvement would lead to the break-up of their relationship, in which case - assuming that you have a conscience! - you're going to be equally badly hurt, though not in the same way.
But these things aren't easy. If all three of you really are good friends, you need to REALLY convince yourself that you aren't going to come between them. If, in all conscience, you can do that, then perhaps it wouldn't be impossible to talk to them about your feelings - but only if you can accept that if you're a problem to them, it's YOU that has to go.
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Old saying: two's company, three's a crowd.
Hugs
N
I dream of boys with big bulges in their trousers,
Never of girls with big bulges in their blouses.
…and look forward to meeting you in Cóito.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I guess this is one of them. Ive already been with both of them, in the biblical sense, both at the same time. It was the most excitting and most wonderful time I have ever had. They are both really fantastic guys and both are so kind and loving. I need to think about all this I guess.
just me
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Gosh, I think if you had added this part to your original post you may have received some different answers. They obviously aren't jealous of one another in their mutual relationship with you. I think you might safely proclaim your feelings. It might be best to tell them both at the same time, however. That way they have the opportunity to voice their own feelings about you and about one another. I think there would be less chance of misunderstandings and jealousies arising. But this is just off the top of my head, understand. I've never been so fortunate as to be in your circumstances. I will admit to having had such fantasies though... lol
Youth crisis hot-line 866-488-7386, 24 hr (U.S.A.)
There are people who want to help you cope with being you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Relationships are a different world as compared to a few lustful encounters.
I've walked that road.... on both sides at one time or another....
BUT.... when reality hit, it was like driving into a brick wall....
It happens fast and without mercy.....
Be very careful..... You stand a better chance of loosing two friends than gaining a pair of lovers.....
[Updated on: Sat, 10 November 2007 19:54]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Listen to Marc and the other posters.
[Updated on: Wed, 21 May 2008 10:08]
Cycling is the one sport where a guy can shave his legs, wear spandex and bright colors, and be accepted.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
We both know of whom you speak. One thing to remember is that when you all "knew" each other all three of you were in the same bed, and having a great time, and the other two are still talking about how wonderful it was to share you. You are all intelligent guys, and the other two want to share you between them then there's no harm done in our opinion. A relationship like that will get sticky if secrets start being kept, so just come right out and tell them, and get it all out in the open and talk about it. It's not like you guys all live close to each other and see each other every day.
But by all means, don't carry all this around with you like a personal cross you have to bear. You'll feel better about things once all three of you talk. We both jointly seduced a third boy from our school on Friday night, and it was a blast. I had done a test run to see if he was interested the previous weekend, and then we all had a great time together Friday night.
Like Eldon so eloquently put it just now, "he doesn't have to fall in love with every boy he sucks off, tell him to lighten up on himself!" Also remember that that experience you shared with those two was your first, and driven by hunger and lust, and now you think you're in love. You're just suffering from that most dreaded of all teenage boy illnesses, Deadly Sperm Buildup, and that disease can be cured by regular injections of peniscillin. Taken orally or in sappository form.
Also you're not the only gay boy in your high school. You think you are, and we know this becasue we used to think the same thing, but really you aren't. Watch where other boys look in the locker room, and watch their eyes when you walk towards them. Did they check out your package? Hummm... might mean something!
Email us dude. The other two think you're a cool guy and it would be wicked fine to know you.
Hugs
Eldon and Jonathan
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Very true.... It is important not to let lust rule your thinking... as hard as that might seem... But Jon is totaly right that if you and THEY as a couple wish to persue a relationship with you then you and they have to place all the beans on the plate ang get everything out into the open.
Be honest in your feelings, and expect the same honesty from them. If you are satisfied that they are being totaly upfront with you, and they are satisfied that you are as well then you have a chance at something of a lasting nature.....
But... and this is a HUGE but... Make certain that you add into the mix an open opportunity to persue a one on one relationship with yet someone unknown to you..... You don't want to set yourself up to disapoint them is you should find your own true love....
And remember the most important rule.... Play safe.... Never let the urge to get off override your sense of safety... literally.
Good luck...
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I've been there too. I was a very late developer and kept falling in lust with unsuitable people (ie they were straight or taken or too old and cynical for me). I also guess I was too pretty for my own good because I never learned to take the initiative properly.
I introduced one of my friends at my college to another friend, who I met doing my National Service in the Navy. They are still together fifty-one years later! And oh how I yearned for one of them to be me.
But there is nothing else to do but what everyone else has said; walk away with your head high and find someone for yourself. And, I guess it is even harder if you have actually been taken into their embrace and enjoyed them together. If they are kind and discover how you feel I think they ought to give you the same advice: walk away! Grovelling for crumbs dropped from their table will leave you worse off afterwards than walking away now.
But it is interesting, isn't it, how these answers all assume that the pair bond is the one that will last and be satisfying. I don't know of any successful troikas: does anyone else?
Anthony
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have talked to Seth on the phone from my grands. Yeh ok, it was me and Jeff. Seth is an extremely shy and sweet person and Jeff and I like him very much. This was his first time with anyone and he was on cloud 9 for days after. Im going to have a long talk with him this weekend at my grands. Im going to try and convince him to write Jon and Eldon. I know he is really busy with his school and the family farm but he is discovering the joy of boy boy relationships and hopefully he will get over some of the shyness and find him someone of his own.
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you......
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
marc
|
|
Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
|
|
|
Great.... Im glad it is all going to work out....
All of you boys impress me quite a lot. Good judgement is a rare thing these days....
Please keep it up....
Don't say it!... Just don't...
Huggs you all in a huge group hug....
Marc
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
|
|
|
|
|
Goto Forum:
|
] 
A Place of Safety
Search
Help
Register
Login
Home
Well... 
