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Guys it seems one of the young men who has been in here is having some problems. He is thinking of running off to meet a guy who is into master/slave relationships. This is not a good idea. If there is anyone who can do some checking out and getting info on someone email me and I will give you the info you need or at least what I have.. I have a name phone mnumbers and an address.
If you can help thanks.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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Nationals might be able to help, but maybe not if they've never been to the country.
I've emailed you, Roger.
David
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This guy is in the US. thanks David
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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ChowanFarmBoy
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Toe is in the water |
Registered: January 1970
Messages: 93
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The guy in question is a gay Mormon who'se parents are less than accepting. Those of us who are his age (+ or - 18 ) have been sending him endless internet resourses and names of support places in his area of Utah. One hour on Google and he would probably have a place to stay. He seems to be very adept at ignoring practical advise. I want to believe in this dude, I really do, but my strong advice to all the older men here is no matter how "desperate" this guys "story" becomes, don't send anything more than advice and encouragement.
In school we get endless advice about not going to meet people from the Internet. This advice starts in elementary school. We are warned not even to put personal pictures on our myspaces and Facebooks anymore. Hackers get in and steal our pictures. So with all these warnings and all the advice from everybody else, if this dude decides to go and become a slave to an older guy, then honestly he knows what to expect and what might happen. He's 18, and an adult, and he can make that decision.
Additionally, every place in the United States has teen help lines which specialize in situations like this. Also in the state of Utah the other Christian denominations would just love to get their hands on this guy as a "recovering Mormon." So there are resourses there for him, he just doesn't seem to want to use them.
I know I'll get flamed for this posting. I'm already wearing my fire retardent underpants. I am not an unsympathetic person and I want to see this guy my age get through his troubles. But when you're offered all the advice you can, and provided all the resourses you can, and even called to Utah to be sure that there are really good places to help him, and he still wallows around in his self-pity, then you have to wonder just how serious he is about helping himself.
And dude, if you are reading this, you know I'm the kind of guy who says the same things behind your back that I say to your face. You and I have exchanged all the IM traffic, and these are the same things I've said to you over and over again.
Eldon
[Updated on: Sun, 11 November 2007 16:59] |
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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We had a man in to Master/Slave relationships here a while ago. He was jailed for videoing a young man of 16.
If both are consenting adults (and here I do mean adults, not just over the age of consent), then one has to assume that the young gentleman knows what he is doing.
Master/slave is a surprisingly comfortable relationship if one likes being dominated. But one must know what one is getting into. If he is off to meet a net contact, then I find it potentially unwholesome.
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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I think you have precisely the right approach here. I can only assume that he is an adult and knows what he is getting in to.
There is nothing inherently wrong with BDSM. It is just not to everyone's taste
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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Jinjay knows i am always here for him...
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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The Gorgon comes in many guises. One must be able to see past ones present situation in order to recognize the beast.
It is hard to grow in a place where your very existance, the reality that defines yourself is viewed as a scourge. Some learn to deal with the pressures of such an existance in different ways and sometimes a great part of that solution does not incorporate clear thought.
When one sees escape from the flames one doesnt think about being on the 80th floor before jumping to safety.
This friend knows there are good people here that care for him. Lets all hope he can see that caring for what it is and pray that it is enough for him to reach to in his moment of uncertainty.
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Eldon, I read your post. Obviously, you know much more about this case than I do and I am not giving any advice to anyone. I just want to tell you the thoughts that went through my mind about this person as I was reading your escription of the situation. They could, of course, be wide of the mark.
Maybe this guy is the kind of person who can never learn to swim because they can't bring themselves to let go of the bar at the edge of the pool. Maybe he is so scared that his own fear is paralyzing and overruling his common sense. Maybe he has been brought up in an environment which now leaves him thinking that the devil he knows (life among the Mormons) is better than the devil he doesn't know (life alone away from his 'natural habitat').
Regardless, I do hope that his situation is satisfactorily resolved.
J F R
The paradox has often been noted that the United States, founded in secularism, is now the most religiose country in Christendom, while England, with an established church headed by its constitutional monarch, is among the least. (Richard Dawkins, 2006)
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Benji
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Likes it here |
Location: USA
Registered: August 2007
Messages: 297
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I've never been comfortable with the whole M/S thing, I guess if consenting adults are into to it, so be it, none of my business. Too bad the person to whom you are referring to has not taken any of your advice, I guess he will have to live & learn.
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Whens the last time some one has talked to him?
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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A couple of friends have been talking to him and the people at gay pride shelter have talked to him and he is finally seeing the light. I have informed some friends who are keeping an eye on this perv and several people have sent him emails that he is being watched and to leave the boy alone. I have a serious dislike for these people. They pray on very young and innocent boys and offer them things to intice them and dont tell them the whole truth. We were able to verify that the boy is real and who he says he is. Hes confused and doesnt like himself much and sure dont need to be humiliated so some perv can get his rocks off on some young virgin kid.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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From the perspective of knowing nothing about the facts of this tale, I have some observations which should be read as general observations.- There is nothing either inherently right or inherently wrong with master/slave relationships provided they are entirely consensual. It is perfectly possible to consent to be a master and to consent to be a slave. The domination is role play.
- People who prey on others, whatever the age of the preyed upon, are beyond the pale.
- In a consensual master/slave relationship it is the slave who wields all the power because he can deny the master the ability to dominate.
- Mastery is not the same as humiliation, though, by consent, it may be allowed to be.
- Being dominated is appealing to some people all of the time, and to many people some of the time. Note that I have not said "All people some of the time".
- Physical pain is not an essential part, though it is a usual part, of a master/slave relationship. But the boundaries are set by the consensual pair.
We need to understand things, even, perhaps especially, when we do not approve of them or find them personally appealing.
There are young people who wish to be slaves and others who wish to be masters. The challenge is that no-one makes a good master unless they have been a slave first, and the second challenge is finding a person who is trustworthy enough to be a master for you as a new slave.
Not every older master is a pervert for young nubile slaves. Some are.
Complex, isn't it?
[Updated on: Wed, 14 November 2007 20:10]
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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I've started a new thread on BDSM because I want to discuss that separately from the question how to advise a naive virgin how to handle a situation where his home environment is unsympathetic.
I'm inclined to agree with Timmy's post but doubt whether a completely inexperienced virgin 'can' be a consensual slave, because such a person cannot know what he is agreeing to.
I used to be acquainted with some pederasts who used to get pleasure with small boys. Even if the small boys were never in pain and were never forced to do anything against their will and maybe even enjoyed the experience of bringing an adult to orgasm, even if all that is true, I still think that what my friends did was wrong - and it was wrong for them as well as for the small boys.
They were both medical students; Hugh committed suicide and I never heard what became of John.
Anthony
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