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ok ok b4 i start i know i am going some what down the same path as b4... but this time is diff....
Ok so theres this guy at work "keith" that i have a crush on. hes cute, hes funny, and best of all he is GAY! i am at a lost as to what i should do. in all of my relationship(s), one night stands, and moments of lust. I was not the one in control the other guy always was... from first contact to finish it was out of my hands... i was just going with the flow.
so i guess i am asking for help on how to ask him out?
[Updated on: Tue, 13 November 2007 05:27]
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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Hey Jay,
" Nice to see you, to see you nice " ...hehehe
Well I would say get to know him first, his likes and dislikes, what he likes to do in his down time and what he likes to drink. Then, once you know all this you could ask him to go out after work one day just for a coffee or snack, in other words, something brief and not to long and committed. In doing so it is really more of a social outing than a date.
When you are out with him you will get more of a feel for him ( Get your minds out of the gutter ) as a person. What he is like in a non work situation. Once you have done this once or twice, however long it takes you to feel comfotable with each other then move it up a step. Ask him to dinner or a movie or take him to the lake for a basket lunch.
Its hard to judge what to do with a person until you have spent some time with them. And just a heads up, going to each others houses the first couple of time will be uncomfortable for the simple reason is that you are in each others space. So take it slow, and most of all just be yourself 
I want all the bit when your done...hehehe ;-D
Luvies ME
"And so the lion fell in love with the Lamb"
"What a stupid Lamb"
"What a sick, masochistic lion"
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cossie
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On fire! |
Location: Exiled in North East Engl...
Registered: July 2003
Messages: 1699
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... and I don't know anything about your work environment.
Do you have coffee breaks (or whatever you might call them!). If so, try to share them with him. Do a bit of detecting; does he go home for lunch, or does he use a cafe or canteen? If he doesn't go home, be sure to bump into him 'accidentally', so you can have lunch with him.
Don't leap in at the first opening; spend at least a few days just being friends. By that time, since you already know he's gay, it shouldn't be too hard to go further.
That way, you've got a decent chance of building a relationship, rather than a one-night stand.
Best of luck, Jay!
For a' that an' a' that,
It's comin' yet for a' that,
That man tae man, the worrld o'er
Shall brithers be, for a' that.
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You could start by inviting him for something light, an activity that, while not quite a date, gives the two of you some time alone together. Lunchtime walks, around the workplace "campus" or to a cheap restaurant, are my favorite. Your goal at this point is to get to know him better and share some stuff about yourself, and maybe eventually develop a friendship or more.
The pace I am suggesting is slower than if he were not a co-worker. If a friendship or relationship does not develop, you still need to be able to work with him.
Good luck.
peter
"Tu non altro che il canto avrai del figlio, o materna mia terra..."
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timmy
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Has no life at all |
Location: UK, in Devon
Registered: February 2003
Messages: 13796
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How about "Would you like to go out for a beer/ coffee/ movie/ concert/ walk/ outdoor sex/ meal/ swim?" etc.
Direct seems good to me here
Author of Queer Me! Halfway Between Flying and Crying - the true story of life for a gay boy in the Swinging Sixties in a British all male Public School
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marc
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Needs to get a life! |
Registered: March 2003
Messages: 4729
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Go back to the several posts where you asked the same question and reread what was said there.
Just because the boy changes doesnt mean the rules of contact change.
[Updated on: Tue, 13 November 2007 11:36]
Life is great for me... Most of the time... But then I meet people online... Very few are real friends... Many say they are but know nothing of what it means... Some say they are, but are so shallow...
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Look Jay.... Timmy is right. Just go to the dude and ask him out. Its that plain and simple. Hes gay, your gay and if hes interested he will say yes. Whats the worst he can do say No/ Stop beatting a dead horse just ask him.
If you stand for Freedom, but you wont stand for war, then you dont stand for anything worth fighting for.
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Well i told my friend alex that i thought he was cute... after i said that she got this big a** smile on her face, to find out like 5 mins later she talking to him. she comes bk to me and says "look at me playing match maker. I was like OMG WTF. So yeah i was some what flurting with him all day.
=D
Jay
So say what you want
(You know I'm wasting all my time)
You've gotta mean it when you say what you want
(You're only safe when you're alone)
And everybody's on your mind
Saying anything to get you by
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